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RE: Newbie confusion on Compliments - 7/10/2011 4:58:20 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

Welcome, benbear. You have now experienced the tone in CM forums. Useful information can be found... sometimes.

Obviously you've got some sort of beef with the forums, I can't be bothered doing a search to see what stupidity you posted that got you slapped around, but I really think the OP has gotten very good responses here. A whole lot of women telling him their view on compliments and even some helpful advice about a bit of a faux pas in his choice in screen names.

Not sure what you're bitching about, but this is actually one of the better threads as far as on topic and useful goes (well until I came along and posted this of course.

)

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RE: Newbie confusion on Compliments - 7/10/2011 8:19:43 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Hello Ben,
Bear is a hairy gay man. I personally like hairy gay men, so have at it! As to compliments - I give them. I do. Yes, I do. And they are always well received. But they are not "your hot" (you need an "e" as well as the above noted apostrophe). But I will say something like - wow that's a great photo. I love how the edges get all blurry. Good luck in your search. It's the tone and the "I"m not trying to pick you up" thing that works.

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RE: Newbie confusion on Compliments - 7/10/2011 8:25:35 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Excellent point, Sunny. I write to men whose pics I like just to say "Hey, you look great, what a beautiful dog/car/boat". Usually it's the ones with pleasing, cheerful, smiling expressions. I also comment on journal entries. It's a good way to start a conversation.

Those of you who have made a certain observation: SSDD, we must blame others for ourselves.

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RE: Newbie confusion on Compliments - 7/15/2011 7:17:40 PM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

. .

Hello A/all

How could I have been so WRONG? I always thought that a genuine and thoughtful compliment about something unique about a woman would be well received.

As for compliments on profile photos, I really do get the concept. It is common practice to put your best feature forward whether it be a nice decolletage or a lovely middle finger. Still, I have to ask, suppose I really DO like a necklace? Can't that be enough? Do I really have to know the difference between a lapis lazuli and a veeblefeltzer?

If so, I am lost.

I think that Dark Steven, Lady Hibiscus and Lockit are on the right track here. Complimenting what someone says in their profile or journal entries is the safest way to go. There is one caveat I'd like to pass on. It's not enough to say that you like her comments on thrust vectoring. Demonstrate that you have read and THOUGHT about it. For example:

"I find your comments on thrust vectoring to be illuminating. I had not realized that ground effect played such a big role in it."

See what I mean? As said above, "Think this shit through motherfucker."

In closing, I would like to compliment Lockit's exceptional eye sight. I had to crank my browser out to 400% and hold my head just so; but, if you look at Black Tiger Dragon's photo long enough, you CAN see little painted faces.

Respectfully (but with tongue slightly in cheek),
Mike
SnowRanger

PS to Benbear: (That means that none of the rest of you can read this!) Hang in there! More often than not, the responses that you get ARE useful. Some times the best advice will be punctuated with words like shit and motherfucker.

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RE: Newbie confusion on Compliments - 7/15/2011 7:27:06 PM

Hisprettybaby

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Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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~FR~
There is a thread just popped up recently in General BDSM on the subject of initial correspondences, along with a good example.....

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3769571/tm.htm

~Hisprettybaby~

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RE: Newbie confusion on Compliments - 7/15/2011 8:22:44 PM

MsMillgrove

Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
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Most of the mail I receive includes a compliment, usually on my profile. I take it as a gesture of politeness--somewhat like a firm handshake and smile in the eyes. It's polite and not much more, certainly not personal on a first
message.

Once in awhile, someone asks a question or makes a comment as Snowranger said, shows they've "thought" about it--that's the equivelent of someone catching your attention at a party by making an intelligent comment.
They're expressing interest; attempting to engage in a dialog. If I get one of those comments, then I do respond with something more than "thanks for writing".

It's likely if you read the domme's profile, and think about the person behind it--you can say something worth reading--and you'll get a sincere reply. A genuine compliment is so much easier to make in person.

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RE: Newbie confusion on Compliments - 7/17/2011 2:54:08 AM

PainObjectForUse

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/10/2011
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Let me add my 2 cents. People here have said pretty much everything and most are more experienced i nforums than me.

First, use your better judgement. Know why you are here and what you looking for. If you find a profile that meets your requirements, read that profile carefully, read that user's forum posts to try and get to know that person and to figure out what the best approach to that user would be.

Answer a few posts also to see how and if that person reacts to you. Politeness, subtlety and patience are key words here. Also, work on your profile. It may take more than one or two tries to improve your profile, but practice makes perfect.

Important tip - It is always good to check the FAQ's for further reference.

Happy trollings.

Tony

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