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talk to my gf about Femdom.... - 7/10/2011 3:17:39 AM

frenchingermany

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/22/2011
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Greetings Mistresses and all other people,

I am 23 years old living in France. I have a girl friend : it has been one year we first kissed.

I have always thought of becoming a slave to a beautifull Woman. And I feel like it would be a great thing if I could talk about Femdom to her. I am very hesitating about what I should do, I am scared she thinks I am crazy.

She is already a bit dominant in sexual act : often on top, she bite me and scratch me hard. But I don't know if it means she would love to go further.

I have thought about make her see a website who could make her read about femdom and boyfriend training, but I really don't want how to do it without making it to abrupt.

Please help me if You have experience about this.

slave j.

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RE: talk to my gf about Femdom.... - 7/10/2011 4:42:06 AM

GreedyTop

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first: welcome.
second: the Mods frown on cross-posting.
Third: http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-Someone-You-Love-Kinky-/260757572243

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RE: talk to my gf about Femdom.... - 7/10/2011 5:17:46 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Okay. You are in a relationship with a gf who is showing signs of dominance. So far, so good.

What is it you lack? Is it that you want her to be more dominant in the bedroom, outside the bedroom, or both?

If it's in the bedroom, then simply tell her, "I love it when you bite me/scratch me." If you have more courage, try "I've wondered what it's like to be spanked."

If it's out of the bedroom, just do little things for her - get her coffee, ask her what you can do for her.

Once she's thinking and acting in a femdom mode, you might want to try showing her the site. But I'd ease into things first.

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RE: talk to my gf about Femdom.... - 7/10/2011 8:43:20 AM

Arpig

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You're French, she's German...seems like a foregone conclusion to me.

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RE: talk to my gf about Femdom.... - 7/10/2011 9:01:28 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchingermany

Greetings Mistresses and all other people,

I am 23 years old living in France. I have a girl friend : it has been one year we first kissed.

I have always thought of becoming a slave to a beautifull Woman. And I feel like it would be a great thing if I could talk about Femdom to her. I am very hesitating about what I should do, I am scared she thinks I am crazy.

She is already a bit dominant in sexual act : often on top, she bite me and scratch me hard. But I don't know if it means she would love to go further.

I have thought about make her see a website who could make her read about femdom and boyfriend training, but I really don't want how to do it without making it to abrupt.

Please help me if You have experience about this.

slave j.

"slave"..."Femdom"..."Boyfriend training"......OP, what does all this mean to YOU?

You say you've always wanted to be "a slave to a beautiful woman"...why and what would that entail? Are you wanting to have a reality-based female-led relationship with a dominant woman or do you want to experience the femdom fantasy of leather, stilettos, whips and a wimpering slave boy begging to be used? What "training" do you feel you need from a dominant woman?

Seriously...what do you want from this? Figure that out and then discuss it with your partner. Communication is the only thing that'll work when it comes to wants/needs between partners.

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RE: talk to my gf about Femdom.... - 7/11/2011 11:47:47 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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Welcome to the wonderful world of erotic female dominance!

You are already on the right track - she's showing interest in the small stuff and enjoying herself, it would seem.

You can start by making sure she knows just how much those little nuances turn you on. But be careful to not make it all about the act - it always has to be about HER and the act, and more to the point, how sexy/exciting SHE IS when she ENJOYS the act. Don't just boil it down to, "Biting turns me on" -- because then she just may file that away in her brain as an act she does for YOU. That's not the mindset you want to create.

Female dominance isn't about the acts. It's about a woman empowering herself, enjoying, and getting aroused by the acts. You can't focus on the acts you want and have a magic button do the rest. There are web sites that embrace lifestyle female dominance, erotic sensual power for a woman - but you have to be careful to not look like you are asking her to change. The moment she decides to adopt a new style to please you is the moment her dominance ends and the fire of the passion is snuffed out. Weeks later you will find yourself wondering why she used to seem like she had fun and now just seems like she is going through the motions.

Be wary of introducing her to the kinky scene - toys, videos, porn, kinky parties. She may find it intimidating, weird, or creepy. Wait for her to make a move in that direction, when she is ready. Don't buy her kinky toys as a 'gift' - instead, exploring kinky catalogs together or take a stroll through a TASTEFUL adult shop (one that caters to women, or adult parties, vs. a seedy 24/7 porn shop).

Most of all - let her enjoy it, pressure free. You will be surprised and maybe shocked....

Akasha

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RE: talk to my gf about Femdom.... - 7/11/2011 6:21:08 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchingermany

I have always thought of becoming a slave to a beautifull Woman. And I feel like it would be a great thing if I could talk about Femdom to her. I am very hesitating about what I should do, I am scared she thinks I am crazy.

She is already a bit dominant in sexual act : often on top, she bite me and scratch me hard. But I don't know if it means she would love to go further.

I have thought about make her see a website who could make her read about femdom and boyfriend training, but I really don't want how to do it without making it to abrupt.

slave j.

Well, don't talk to her about femdom, show her, be submissive to her, easily done with little acts, draw her a bath, go and buy the bath ingredients she likes, do the dishes...

So she's sexually dominant, great stuff, let her know how much it turns you on, tell her "Wow, when you bite me and tell me what to do, that really blows my mind and it's so exciting for me!" BDSM is not different from vanilla relationships, it's 2 people getting out of the relationship what fulfills them and turns them on. By telling her and showing her that this works for you, you give her permission to go further, she might be the same as you are and worrying that you will think she is a freak if she goes further. I honestly wish the boyfriends I had when I was a teen would have let me know...

Go slow and don't rush her, talk to her about stuff that turns her on, in exchange you tell her that things she does to you turn you on (you're sharing then and creating a bond, so it will be easier for her to come clear and act more upon them but she's not under pressure) and you just let it develop, you can plant a seed carefully about admiring strong women and that she's that in your eyes, but still treat her like a woman, in fact do treat her like a queen...

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RE: talk to my gf about Femdom.... - 7/11/2011 9:37:34 PM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
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quote:

You can start by making sure she knows just how much those little nuances turn you on. But be careful to not make it all about the act - it always has to be about HER and the act, and more to the point, how sexy/exciting SHE IS when she ENJOYS the act. Don't just boil it down to, "Biting turns me on" -- because then she just may file that away in her brain as an act she does for YOU. That's not the mindset you want to create.

Female dominance isn't about the acts. It's about a woman empowering herself, enjoying, and getting aroused by the acts. You can't focus on the acts you want and have a magic button do the rest. There are web sites that embrace lifestyle female dominance, erotic sensual power for a woman - but you have to be careful to not look like you are asking her to change. The moment she decides to adopt a new style to please you is the moment her dominance ends and the fire of the passion is snuffed out. Weeks later you will find yourself wondering why she used to seem like she had fun and now just seems like she is going through the motions.

Be wary of introducing her to the kinky scene - toys, videos, porn, kinky parties. She may find it intimidating, weird, or creepy. Wait for her to make a move in that direction, when she is ready.

Sounds like a good plan to me frenchingermany. Take it slowly.
Good luck, and welcome to the forums. M

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RE: talk to my gf about Femdom.... - 7/13/2011 3:13:36 AM

frenchingermany

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/22/2011
Status: offline

Thank You All for Your advises. I think I 'll go slowly.
I already do everything I can for Her pleasure, dishes cooking and sexual acts for Her own pleasure everytime we are together.
I told Her I liked when She was bossy in bed, it might be a good way of going further later...
it would be a real dream if her domination could be in and out of the room but I am not the one to decide, I hope she like to go further then...

thank You All.

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