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blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch &quo... - 7/10/2011 2:00:41 PM   
MasterShake71


Posts: 24
Joined: 7/1/2011
Status: offline 		Firstly, apologies if this is in the wrong forum.

Anyone here watch the recent spanking episode of "Louie"? IF you're not familiar, the stand-up Louie CK has a television series on FX. Just started it's second season about a month ago, and the second episode this season ("Bummer/Blueberries") featured him ending up having a casual encounter with a woman who turned out to be into spanking.

http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/louie/

The reason I'm posting about this is that the show depicts her as having a 'daddy/girl' mentality - during sex she refers to Louie several times as 'daddy', which he doesn't seem comfortable with - and after she asks him to spank her (he obliges, although open handed and not terribly hard, with her doing the stereotypical "yes daddy", "I've been bad, daddy" type stuff), it ends with her just lying on the bed crying and going on about "daddy, daddy, I'm so sorry, daddy" in a way that I couldn't figure out if they meant it to be part of the roleplay or if she's meant to just be seriously messed up and reliving some real trauma or issue or whatever. I mean, they stop doing anything and Louie just sits there while she's bawling her eyes out in a way that sounds very serious and very "she's so not role-playing this anymore", yet it being Louis CK's show, I couldn't help wonder if there's some actual fetish being portrayed here where the sub wants to actually experience/relive a genuine trauma (I hope my phrasing makes sense, sorry).

Was hoping someone else here who's more knowledgeable about such things (e.g. daddy/girl relationships or blurring the line between role-play and real life) might have an opinion on this. My experience has been with light, more playful spanking, but not the more serious roleplay kind. I've always been interested in trying something more serious, like with a slave rather than sub, or something with a bit more roleplay, like daddy/girl. I figure a TV show, even a great one like "Louie" isn't always realistic in how things are portrayed, but it is relatively common for things to get out of hand emotionally? And if so, how does one deal with it if it does happen? I know there's things like hard limits or safe words to limit things as they're going, but less about what one would do after the fact.

I guess I'm also curious if there's a - I don't know what you'd call it, a fetish? a desire? - among some people to use spanking or bondage as a way of reliving or dealing with real-life trauma in the way the show depicted it. Or, maybe related, if it's common for a session to trigger a trauma without actually intending to, and if so how you deal with that as well.

I know a tv show isn't the best guide to such things, especially with a show like "Louie" that loves putting him into uncomfortable positions outside his normal experiences, but the way they depicted her reaction to the spanking was so odd for television that it made me wonder if there was some basis in reality for it.

Thanks, and apologies if my question rambled a bit.

< Message edited by MasterShake71 -- 7/10/2011 2:02:04 PM >
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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 2:08:21 PM   
HannahLynHeather


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Status: offline 		a lot of words that don't say a fuck of a lot. as best i can figure you want to know if some subs get into the daddy/girl role play because of some fucking past issues they want to relive, and if things sometimes get out of control emotionally.

is that right?
if so the answers are: sure as fuck and fuck yes.


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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 2:22:27 PM   
MasterShake71


Posts: 24
Joined: 7/1/2011
Status: offline 		Yeah, basically. I always thought that was more a stereotype than reality, though. I mean, any group of people is going to have some with baggage, whether it's a sex fetish group or a board gaming group.

I assume it being a show it's kinda playing to the stereotype that kinky people are damaged goods, just wondering what people's RL experiences are, if that's an actual issue or really just a stereotype and not much more. I hadn't thought about it until just now, but are there people who want to experience trauma who've never had it in the past? Is that a thing?

The daddy/girl stuff is relevant as the show played to that particular fetish, but I guess I'm maybe a bit more curious about intentionally blurring the line between role-play and real life, how that's done. Are there people who knowingly/willingly want to engage in a fetish activity for the intentional purpose of triggering a traumatic episode, even if it's not to deal with something but to just experience it, or because something about it itself is arousing or pleasurable to them?

Sorry for the ignorance on my part. Just curious is all.

< Message edited by MasterShake71 -- 7/10/2011 2:26:05 PM >

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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 2:26:44 PM   
onlyfreelycaged


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Status: offline 		um tramma? I don't want any of that. Some of us do this because we enjoy it, for no other reason at all.

as far as to what causes us to enjoy it, if it has anything to do with a past trauma or not, I don't know. you won't even get professionals to agree on what the causes of this sort of thing are.

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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 2:52:55 PM   
HannahLynHeather


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quote:

are there people who want to experience trauma who've never had it in the past? Is that a thing?

quote:

Are there people who knowingly/willingly want to engage in a fetish activity for the intentional purpose of triggering a traumatic episode, even if it's not to deal with something but to just experience it, or because something about it itself is arousing or pleasurable to them?
look man, i'll save you the fucking time of starting ten thousand threads and posts where you ask "is there any...", "do people really....", "does anybody..."

the answer to any such question is the same: fuck yes.

somewhere out there, there is somebody who either does, or has done, or wants to do any fucking sick assed thing you can imagine. there was a guy in germany not long ago who advertised for somebody to kill and eat. he found some fucker who was into that. that's not made up, its fucking real. google armin meiwes or bernd jurgen brandes if you don't fucking believe me.

< Message edited by HannahLynHeather -- 7/10/2011 2:55:01 PM >

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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 2:54:45 PM   
mnottertail


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Status: offline 		I have thought alot about taking a meatclever and like airhammering it in my head, to see what trauma looks like, but then to tell you the truth, fuck no, I never thought that.

I freak if I am out of coffee. 

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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 4:21:20 PM   
angelikaJ


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Status: offline 		Crying doesn't necessarily mean reliving trauma... it could just be catharsis and since that episode isn't apparently available for viewing I don't have a context for it.

Had it been a happy scene, likely it would not have had the same comic impact. My guess is the humor from the episode came out of it featuring multiple disasters.

My personal experience with my Master -who is my Owner and my Daddy- is that he has facilitated one scene for the benefit of catharsis. It was not about reliving trauma, nor did I.

Of course in your sitcom-scenario, he did not know her that well, her request took him by surprise and he had no idea what the outcome would be.

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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 4:39:29 PM   
DarkSteven


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Status: offline 		I saw the scene. I could easily imagine a girl who was carrying guilt wanting to atone for it, and feeling accountable to her Daddy.

That said, I was creeped out by her promise to suck him in return.  A Daddy/lg relationship does not mix with sex in my book.

And of course the spanking was ridiculously tame, required for TV, and the physical position gave him no leverage.


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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 4:42:02 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Firstly, just because you cry doesn't mean things have gotten out of hand. When you do intense experiences it's common to have intense reactions.

Secondly, physical exercise can cause an emotional release. It's called catharsis. It's a common reaction to having a full body, deep tissue massage. If you carry a lot of tension in your muscles and suddenly release it, the tension has to come out somewhere. Tears are a common release.

Thirdly, sometimes people do seek to re-enact difficult periods or experiences in their lives through the use of role play. When we do some D/lg roleplay, I am always 16. It was a stressful period in my life and repeating it within the confines of a scene means that this time when I undergo it, it comes out right.

Fourth, you can be a slave and have a light scene or a sub and have a heavy one. The label you put on yourself and your relationship has nothing to do with the ability to joke and have fun.


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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 8:39:08 PM   
MasterShake71


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Joined: 7/1/2011
Status: offline 		angelikaJ:

Yeah, I don't know why FX doesn't at least have clips. The basic setup is that he meets her at his kid's school. She tells him she's happily single, doesn't need a husband, but could use a fuck buddy as she's horny. He arranges to meet her at her place for the quickie. Awkward sex begins to ensue, and at first she calls him "daddy" a few times, and then suddenly stops and assumes all fours and demands to be spanked. He's really off-put at first, then begins to, kinda gets into it, and then she basically collapses on the bed sobbing very realistically about how sorry she is, daddy. I say realistic in the sense that it's obviously not meant to be still role-playing - at first I thought the joke was going to be that he doesn't 'get it' and mistakes her for actually being hurt or that he went too far, but it comes off like she actually has some sort of real, serious traumatic episode.

Obviously they're writing the scene first and foremost to set up the show's usual humor. I guess it just seemed like such a different BDSM scene from what I've seen on other shows/movies (not that I've seen much, tbh), that it got me wondering if someone knowledgeable wrote the scene and if so if they were simulating an actual fetish type or a relatively common issue of role-playing triggering past trauma. She's a one time character, and the episode never explains if this is usual for her or if this was not normal for her too.


DarkSteven:

To me the suck promise didn't sound like part of role-play, just her bargaining to get him to do something (spanking) which he was clearly being resistant to. I guess this also raises the issue of someone asking for BDSM from a casual (vanilla?) partner with apparently no prior experience. My understanding is that's actually not common in real life - either you start out with someone who's into it, or wait until there's a relationship before bringing it up. But maybe I'm wrong on that.


DesFIP:

Very true points you raised, things I hadn't thought of. I guess just the way she cries it didn't really feel cathartic. It really felt like it'd gone somewhere really traumatic / re-traumatic for her, although she's back to normal in the next scene where they're eating in the kitchen (although obviously that's a further setup for how weird it all is supposed to feel for Louis' character who has no idea what's happened or going on).

Thanks for the comments, btw.

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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 8:58:24 PM   
Arpig


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quote:

But maybe I'm wrong on that.
Yup, you are.

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RE: blur between roleplay and real life / anyone watch ... - 7/10/2011 9:46:21 PM   
sunshinemiss


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Status: offline 		Is this for your story?

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