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Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/17/2006 12:53:34 PM

ShivaTS

Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
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I dont mean to offend by this. Its a true question. I have been speaking to people about the male and female domination and the differences in style. Almost everyone I have talked to has said to stay away from Mistresses/Dommes because generally they are more brutal in punishments. I have a training collar and simply been trying to learn more. I though it would be good to hear direct from the source. Thank you for your time. I apologise if this offends anyone.

Post #: 1

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/17/2006 1:13:05 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

I personally am on the fairly heavy/intense end of the spectrum of SM play, but I don't think that's necessarily a domme thing so much as an individual thing. I'm genderbent anyways, and often prefer to top in my gay male leather Daddy persona.

I don't think you can generalize based on gender. There are dominants/tops of both genders who play with feathers and silk scarves, and dominants/tops of both genders who play with piercing, cutting, fisting, branding, singletails, heavy canes, etc. Find the level of play that suits you and enjoy that with consenting adult partners who feel the same way.

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 2

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/17/2006 1:17:31 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear ShivaTS, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Interesting post as well as a good one.

I think brutal has no gender assignment. Men and women, Gay, Het., Lesbians, Bi-sexual -- there will be somebody in the salad bar of the community who will fall under "brutal."

I am of the belief, that women are "no nonsense" when it comes to certain things. And, can be more brutal within the circle of women than if there were men in the mix.

There are also "no nonsense" men, who are just as brutal and can be rough on men as well as women.

Strict and rough are two words on very organized, regimental and controlling personalities. At times no patience with others period.

Every dominant will have from life's experiences what creates that controlling factor, to which it can be obsessive compulsive to just extremely picky about certain things.

Brutal can mean many things. Might be intense and it also is not restricted to physical. The most brutal scars are those that are invisible and internal; as well as individual.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 3

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/17/2006 1:42:13 PM

ShivaTS

Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
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Thank you for the response. To clarify, I mean the punishments are more mentally brutal. I have quite a high pain tolerance and have have things like bullwhips used on me. I am alittle more fragile with mental punishments due to my service slave nature and the fact I am a perfectionist, I tend to do badly when people rub in the fact I have failed in my task I have been given.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 4

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/17/2006 1:42:22 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
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I don't think it depends so much on whether someone is male or female, as the person giving out the punishment.
Edited because I was asking clarification of the question as you were clarifying it. lol

< Message edited by Proprietrix -- 5/17/2006 1:44:30 PM >

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IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 5

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/17/2006 2:07:45 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShivaTS

Thank you for the response. To clarify, I mean the punishments are more mentally brutal. I have quite a high pain tolerance and have have things like bullwhips used on me. I am alittle more fragile with mental punishments due to my service slave nature and the fact I am a perfectionist, I tend to do badly when people rub in the fact I have failed in my task I have been given.

I think you are clear about this aspect of yourself it will help you find a good match regardless of gender or sex.

Unless that is important for you.

No dominant I respect rubs their submissive/slave's face in their failure. They state there is an error or problem, they offer a way to fix it and a means absolution, and they move on. They also don't keep people around who need routine punishments and don't confuse punishment with discipline or practice.

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(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 6

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/17/2006 7:56:44 PM

LadyHugs

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear ShivaTV, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Invisible brutality, e.g. mental and or emotionally brutal--I've seen all genders and races manifest brutal humiliation and or punishment. At times it goes without thought as to how their words slice into the emotional, mental and spiritual realm of a slave.

Some masochists are tough externally but, more fragile emotionally and mentally. It takes a lot of pain to get a purge of feelings and make it more vunerable for the dominant, as high and thick walls exist long before a dominant even meets somebody.

Some pain play is for the high but, a lot of pain players also go for the pain revisited and purging.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 7

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/17/2006 8:03:04 PM

HouseofBear

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
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It all depends on the individual. I think the popular misconception of females being more brutal comes from the popular stereotype of the paid dom (which by the way I know some and know this stereotype is far from being a true generalization) who offers her services as a humiliatrix of submissive men. Yes, this can happen in a scene, paid or otherwise. However, what happens in real time in their relationships is often far different.

Lady Ursa

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 8

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/18/2006 4:43:35 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

It depends upon the Domme. I know some Dom's who are downright brutal if not mean and I'm sure there are some Domme's out there like that as well. It all comes down to what you are looking for, how well you get to know the person and what you negotiate prior to scening with them.

~Lashra

(in reply to HouseofBear)

Post #: 9

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/19/2006 10:34:47 PM

MLadyQueenowands

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline

While there are physically strong Doms/Dommes out there men generally have the edge physically. That is not to say that any gender cannot exercise restraint on their slaves; technique and preferred play is a factor. Masochists exist in any gender. This would be interesting to research how could you quantify the variables?

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 10

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/20/2006 1:42:00 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShivaTS

I dont mean to offend by this. Its a true question. I have been speaking to people about the male and female domination and the differences in style. Almost everyone I have talked to has said to stay away from Mistresses/Dommes because generally they are more brutal in punishments. I have a training collar and simply been trying to learn more. I though it would be good to hear direct from the source. Thank you for your time. I apologise if this offends anyone.

IMO,Being Female or male doesnt make a difference...its the person themselves.
I can be very gentle or very mean,one second to the next.
Some people are just more brutal than others.Not to mention...what one thinks is brutal another may not.

_____________________________

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http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 11

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/20/2006 1:54:37 PM

MistressLina

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/17/2006
From: Montreal
Status: offline

Most Dommes I know are very sweet, there is only one I have ever met that makes me wonder what she might do to someone. Someone with a generally mean or harsh attitude will probably have that magnified during play. Ouch!

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Mistress Lina...indulge in your fantasy...

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 12

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/20/2006 2:07:13 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

I'm not only not brutal, I also don't do corporal punishment. If my slave makes a mistake, I correct him and make sure he understands what he is to do. If he is misbehaving (and there's a difference), obviously the thing to do is to find out why and perhaps reassess whether he is the slave for me. I suppose you could almost call me brutal in that, if a slave starts giving me a lot of trouble, not from ignorance or need of training but in the manner of being manipulative, topping from the bottom, etc., I would just de-collar him and walk away.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 13

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/22/2006 8:05:17 AM

peterK50

Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline

Having Served Masters & Mistresses the answer is YES!

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 14

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/22/2006 7:30:19 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShivaTS

I dont mean to offend by this. Its a true question. I have been speaking to people about the male and female domination and the differences in style. Almost everyone I have talked to has said to stay away from Mistresses/Dommes because generally they are more brutal in punishments. I have a training collar and simply been trying to learn more. I though it would be good to hear direct from the source. Thank you for your time. I apologise if this offends anyone.

It's always good to learn! I have many levels you might say of cruelty. I can be very extreme to just a slap on the wrist. The level of punishment has to meet the level of the mishap also the intent. If I have a sub who continually is bratty, sometimes belittles other subs and taunts them, I might use a bit extreme punishment besides having her hold a bar of soap in her mouth while she scrubs the bathroom floor with a toothbrush. I might decide to stand over her occasionally, watching her work, even applying a crop, cane, paddle occasionally. Now different parts of this punishment can be broken off and used seperately or even compiled with more items. It's only a sample. To me severe/extreme punishment is when I leave absolute marks; possibly break the skin; large bruising; total humiliation. I've only had to use this level once with one sub. I prefer not to be that extreme.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 15

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/24/2006 4:56:57 AM

peterK50

Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
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I think some Mistresses adopt a sterner approach, especially when dealing with a male slaves, to compensate for their lack of physical strength. Having said that I believe a Mistress is more likely to take a discipline/punishment session through to it's conclussion then a Master. At least in my experience.

slave peter

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 16

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/24/2006 5:26:24 AM

Dollbecky

Posts: 197
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

This is just a thought ...maybe Dommes are seen as more brutal because of the contrast from the the "social script" we are given as a culture; which is that women are more passive and gentle.
Personally I think while some people are more sadist or strict than others but I dont think you can break it down on gender.

(in reply to peterK50)

Post #: 17

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/24/2006 5:31:47 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

In talking with and reading the profiles and posts of many female dominants, they are different than male dominants. But then, submissive males are different as well. The views and approaches of each are very different than what I've come to know and expect with dominant males. Yes, I find many of the females to be much more brutal than the males.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Dollbecky)

Post #: 18

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/24/2006 7:50:37 PM

ladylexington

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dollbecky

This is just a thought ...maybe Dommes are seen as more brutal because of the contrast from the the "social script" we are given as a culture; which is that women are more passive and gentle.

I think you've got something there becky.

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If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to Dollbecky)

Post #: 19

RE: Are Mistresses/Dommes more brutal than Masters/Doms? - 5/24/2006 8:44:59 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

I wouldn't say that I'm brutal...except when it comes to honestly. I think that creativity of punishments can make them seem worse than a straight whipping, caning, paddling that a dom might use. If I actually punish there has been a serious infraction of the you knew better type. The punishment will normally involve multiple senses at one time that while individually less severe... in combination more than get the point across and leave an unmistakable impression.

(in reply to ladylexington)

Post #: 20

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