what would you do in my situation?

what would you do in my situation? (Full Version)

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kinkquest -> what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 3:01:15 PM)
I am not sure how to handle the situation I am in. I had a short-lived online D/s relationship with a Domme. I ended it because she would not reveal herself on camera after months and months of talking to her and so that made me question whether she was actually female. Anyway, we got to talking early last month about getting back together again and she said she would go on cam with me. I have not heard from her since (with the exception of a couple of emails back and forth from the following couple of days after our conversation about getting back together). I have tried emailing her and instant messaging her and there has been no response on her part. She said she would keep in touch through emails with me since we are in different time zones. She missed my 30th birthday too which was a real bummer. I now am ready to move on. I am not collared. I do not have a lot of experience and would like to sub for someone who is actually present. We had a really great connection with one another, but I feel like I am waiting too long for her and I hate abandonment. I am pretty sure I should move on. Still, I would like to hear from you all to see what your thoughts and opinions are on the matter. Have you ever experienced this before? Do you think I should move on? Thanks for your time! kinkquest

kdsusa7894 -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 3:10:48 PM)
OP, the same applies in a D/s relationship as applies in vanilla. In your profile you say you have a bf, if he did the types of things the domme you were talking to did, would you have moved on? If you want to be a sub with someone who is actually present you should change your profile as you state that you are open to online relationships. IMO you should move on, it sounds like she has. Or your guess that she isn't the person she states is correct and she's been playing you. Either way I would drop it and move on.

kinkquest -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 3:15:21 PM)
@kdusa7894 Thank you for your opinion. What I mean by present is that they are communicative and responsive to my messages online, if it is an online relationship that is the only possibility between us. I am open to both online and in person relationships so my profile is correct.

DarkSteven -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 3:16:57 PM)
I think you're asking whether a sharp, clean break is preferable to an agonizingly slow one. I vote yes.

atursvcMaam -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 3:19:30 PM)
From what you have said, you sound as if you have lalready decided to move on. From what you have said, it does not sound like a bad plan.

LanceHughes -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 3:25:20 PM)
I will copy part of my signature block into this post. (If I ever change my sig.block, the following line will go away, so I'll copy it to make it permanent to the post.) "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

kinkquest -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 3:26:13 PM)
Thank you everyone.

peppermint -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 3:30:12 PM)
It sounds as if she (and I very much doubt this) isn't into you as much as you were into her. I wonder if the promise of her being on cam was done to get you to do an extra cam show or two. ( Did you?) Now that she has gotten that, she disappears rather than reveal that "she" is a he. Of course, this is just a theory as I do not know all the facts.

kinkquest -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 4:01:12 PM)
Hi peppermint, No, I refused to go on cam for her until I saw her on cam. I did a couple of cam shows for her in the past and when she wouldn't reciprocate with a cam verification of her, that's when I first decided that it wasn't going to work out. She really did seem very into me but apparently not enough to keep her end of the bargain I guess. Anyway, I hope I will meet someone wonderful on here.

Iamsemisweet -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 4:02:36 PM)
Yes, you should move on. I guess I don't understand the appeal of a relationship that is completely on line.

Hisprettybaby -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 4:13:37 PM)
~FR~ It sounds to me like she either (1)isn't who "she" says she is and has something to hide, (2)just wanted some free shows and when she? didn't get them she? left, or (3)just isn't that into you. I'd move on. "She" has. ~Hisprettybaby~

DecadentDesire -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 4:32:37 PM)
Lucy from Peanuts needs to step up her cardboard stand on these message boards with a new sign that says "Validation $0.10" Okay, now seriously, the answer is yes.

peppermint -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 4:53:12 PM)
Glad you did not do another show. Guess we'll never know if my theory was right or wrong. Please, next time be more careful. People can and do save those cam shows on their computers and share them with others. If you showed your face you never know who might see it eventually.

littlewonder -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 5:12:22 PM)
nope, never experienced it because I tend to simply just talk to people online and then meet in person before I ever decide to be owned by them. If all you're looking for is online domination then does it matter if you ever see them on cam or even what gender they are? If you're looking for real life domination my suggestion is to just keep it platonic online, ya know...just simple chat...until you meet in person face to face.

DesFIP -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 5:16:31 PM)
I'm betting she's a he and trying to lure you into more cams. Next time, look only for people within a couple of hours driving distance and meet within a couple of weeks for coffee.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 5:27:32 PM)
A lady on fetlife is dealing with that. She did a cam for someone and he posted it and her real name on a porn site. They did eventually take the video down, but still it was a big hassle an quite a stress on her. Another lady had someone she trusted show the video to his buddies and pass her info out to them. quote: ORIGINAL: peppermint Glad you did not do another show. Guess we'll never know if my theory was right or wrong. Please, next time be more careful. People can and do save those cam shows on their computers and share them with others. If you showed your face you never know who might see it eventually.

windchymes -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 6:17:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kinkquest Hi peppermint, No, I refused to go on cam for her until I saw her on cam. I did a couple of cam shows for her in the past and when she wouldn't reciprocate with a cam verification of her, that's when I first decided that it wasn't going to work out. She really did seem very into me but apparently not enough to keep her end of the bargain I guess. Anyway, I hope I will meet someone wonderful on here. And if you don't move on, you won't. [:)]

HannahLynHeather -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 6:19:46 PM)
some online domme who wouldn't go on fucking cam for you has stopped communicating with you, and you want to know what the fuck i would do in that situation? end it all sugar, just fucking end it all. [image]local://upfiles/1188372/B08D7E7709A74759B5F975E6C9EA6B00.jpg[/image]

Kaliko -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 6:28:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LanceHughes I will copy part of my signature block into this post. (If I ever change my sig.block, the following line will go away, so I'll copy it to make it permanent to the post.) "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong I actually quoted that to somebody the other day. I didn't remember where I knew it from. I guess it must have been your signature line.

SashaSteel -> RE: what would you do in my situation? (7/14/2011 7:08:11 PM)
WAKE UP and smell reality. This person was nothing but a LIAR. Thus you did NOT have a "great connection." You were being used and lied to. There is nothing GREAT about that. When someone wont reveal who they are .. c'mon girl .. If you are here having to ask, you already know. Go and have a real relationship with a real person. Then when you look back on this nonsense ... I guarentee you, you'll be shaking your head going wow ....

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