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RE: Do you confess? - 7/17/2011 3:16:26 PM   
slavemoth


Posts: 23
Joined: 7/5/2011
From: u.k
Status: offline 		Yes confess or the boundaries become blurred i am sure it will be favorable to own up than to be found out  

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slavemoth x

(in reply to foxling)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you confess? - 7/17/2011 6:54:29 PM   
SlaveKelly4life


Posts: 14
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline 		Being honest, whether you think your Dom/Domme knows of an infraction, regardless of how minor or not it may seem to you, is the best way to go, absolutely!  It's far less traumatic to "fess up" to begin with, than let the possible consequences build up in your mind and for the lapse in honesty to potentially damage your trust with one another and the relationship.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 1:25:06 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixmoonn13



been there as well atr the very start of our relationship. an i was surprise he noticed.

i tell all however little i love how it feels and the guilt would eat at me now and he knows it



To be honest, in retrospect I was very pleased that he noticed. I feel so secure and happy when my boundaries are well defined and monitored. And if he didn't care, he wouldn't notice. All of that combines to make me feel more content in this relationship than in any other that I've had, including the one where I nearly married the man



i like it to it makes me feel secure loved and happy

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 9:15:35 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: foxling
You break the rules in a fairly minor way - but still, the line has been crossed.

I don't have a lot of "rules". I hate standing rules because they are so binding to both of us. But if she broke a "rule" that would mean she disobeyed. Yes, she would be up-front about it and she'd do so with collar in hand -- fully expecting it was the end of the collar which it would be. For us, there is no way to be disobedient "in a fairly minor way".


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to foxling)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 9:38:15 AM   
Asherscorp1


Posts: 143
Joined: 3/6/2011
Status: offline 		I broke a rule the other day that Master would never have known about since He was at work. So, I texted Him and confessed as soon as I realized what I'd done. If I don't confess immediately that sets a precedence in which His commands are treated with less and less consideration over time. "Oh, I didn't mean to and Master will never know anyway, it's not really important. I'll just do it right next time." That's in a situation where He wouldn't know unless I confessed, but in a situation where He seems not to notice or to ignore it, I do the same thing. I wait for an appropriate time and I bring it to His attention. Usually I kneel at His feet and ask, "Master did you notice today ...." if He did He generally tells me He was just waiting to deal with it and if not He tells me I'm a good girl for bringing it up. I don't feel like I am pushing the issue by doing this, I would be if I said, "Master I did such-and-such and I insist you spank me for it." I have requested punishment before but I explained why then left it in His hands and did not bring it up again.

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"The path to slavery is so narrow that two cannot walk upon it at the same time, hence why the slave must crawl behind." -- Unknown


(in reply to NuevaVida)
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RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 10:45:44 AM   
McCaine


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/16/2009
Status: offline 		Isn't the whole point that it's about honesty anyway, and that you want to please your master? Of course you'd then be honest about doing something wrong. That's just being mature.

(in reply to Asherscorp1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 10:54:38 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		It was a whild ago and i don't evrn remember what it was i did.  I do remember i dod something wromg.  Master was not here at the time and if i dd not tell him he would not have know.  However i lie of omission is still a lie and our relationship is based on trust.  He would have know i did something anyway i have very expressive eyes.  he was glad i told him and just told me i better not do it again.  I was not punished because i came clean.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to McCaine)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 11:02:19 AM   
foxling


Posts: 34
Joined: 6/17/2011
Status: offline 		"Lie of omission" is a phrase I think I might use again myself the future.

I've still not entirely sorted out my own thoughts on this. I mean, obviously I agree that honesty is right and I know I'd never be keep something from him. But my emotional responses are confusing me. Interestingly, though. So more thinking is required.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 11:10:53 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		if i break something that belongs to a friend, i don't glue it back together and hope they don't notice.
why would i do that in a power-exchange relationship?


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to foxling)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 1:02:04 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If he wanted me to do something and I couldn't, I'd tell him why and he'd try to solve the problem for the next time. But we don't have a punishment dynamic.

Foxling, if your emotions are telling you to lie, that's a sign that you're afraid of him. Talk to him about this. About the fact that you're obeying out of fear and not out of love. And is this what he wants? Because if it isn't, he needs to make some changes in how he motivates you.


< Message edited by DesFIP -- 7/18/2011 1:05:16 PM >

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 1:42:02 PM   
foxling


Posts: 34
Joined: 6/17/2011
Status: offline 		No, that may be a miscommunication on my part. I wouldn't lie to him. When I have done something I know is wrong, I tell him as soon as possible and take the appropriate consequences. The emotional response I'm concerned with is to do with what I've mentioned in the thread already, this idea of 'testing' the power exchange. For example if asked to do something in no specific time frame, it's not happened yet, I think he's forgotten about it. Do I tell him? Do I carry on not doing it because he won't notice? Do I do it anyway as soon as possible? Obviously, the answer is that I tell him that I'm sorry for the delay (which I am) and make sure he's aware that I haven't forgotten. Which I've done. It's that that's bothering me. I'm in a strange place with the whole submission thing at the moment. But I figured that would make far too difficult a question for me to be able to make sense of to people! And the OP was something that interested me anyway. I'm not obeying out of fear. :)

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 3:06:40 PM   
kykitten41


Posts: 50
Status: offline
quote:

Isn't the whole point that it's about honesty anyway, and that you want to please your master? Of course you'd then be honest about doing something wrong. That's just being mature.



So you say being honest and pleasing your Master..is the whole point..and being mature?
what if your master...(for example: wanted you to be with a female?) keeping in mind that he is gay..like you..lets go a little further
..let's say...(.your ficitional Master) wishes..nay..even demands.. you not only have sex with a female...but that she be the one to introduce you into say..edge play.
..."breathe play"? for example.. keep in mind ( you want/have to please your Master..)..even when the female he has chosen for this scene.
.. is duct taping your mouth and pinching your nostrils together..
...cutting off your breathe..all while your hands behind your back in cuffs
...with your Master watching..
Now would you..be Honest and say no to the sex act?..or LIE and do it to please Him? ..
would you be shaking your head ..NO..as...in " NO!..this is scaring me."?..(.remember..He has demanded/wants to see this scene between you... His slave.. and this female.)..Or.. would you LIE and say " yes Master" ... it wasn't so bad..ect..ect.. KNOWING.. it would go against everything inside you... that you are not...?
anyone?

(in reply to foxling)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 3:09:01 PM   
kykitten41


Posts: 50
Status: offline 		above was in reply to Mcaine...not..foxling..my bad posting skills

(in reply to kykitten41)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do you confess? - 7/18/2011 4:15:37 PM   
OwnedFemaleFlesh


Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline 		Yeah I tell him, most of the time. Although when I tell him can vary. Like today he asked me for a favour and I said sure, so long as I got forgiven for not doing the clamps yesterday. He just laughed and agreed. I'll probably get worse tomorrow lol.

The only times I don't confess is when I can see he's tired and not in the mood to play. Although I'm not looking for play, I can see that confession might come across as hinting for play and I don't want to put that pressure on him.

owned xxx

(in reply to foxling)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do you confess? - 7/19/2011 12:25:48 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: foxling
For example if asked to do something in no specific time frame, it's not happened yet, I think he's forgotten about it

This happens ALL the time to me. I'm a focus guy so what's in front of me is what's on my mind. Carol on the other hand, carries to-do lists in her head that run for years with some items. So it is a commonplace occurrence that she'll pop up with the results of some command I'd given back in the dim recesses of the past.

It's almost guaranteed that I had forgotten about it. So what? Obviously, since I didn't give a time limit on it, then I didn't have anything in particular in mind. If I did, in fact, want it soon-ish then it'll become apparent soon-ish that she isn't working on it which will cause me to say something like, "Hey, when were you planning on.....?" and then it'll have a specific date attached. Otherwise, I am simply relying on what I know to be true about her. I can, in large part, fire and forget and pretty much all commands will get done eventually.

This is not a "test" moment between Carol and I. For us, it's just business as usual and everything went exactly according to everyone's expectations.

For me, the simple answer to your question is, "You do it when you get around to it and then inform him that it's done -- preferably with a bare minimum of hand-wringing and melodrama." If you actually forgot a command, then I'd expect you to say something like, "Oh crap! I just remembered you asked me to ..... and I totally forgot about it." Unless that's a commonplace thing it goes right into the "shit happens" category in my head. The only really relevant questions to me are whether any issues have cropped up as a result of the delay -- process stops, late fees, etc. Depending on which of us is knowledgeable in whatever area the command was given I may expect her to do that legwork up front so that she's bringing me solutions, not problems.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to foxling)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do you confess? - 7/19/2011 2:50:08 AM   
erieangel


Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline 		kykitten, your scenario is far different from breaking a rule or forgetting to do something which is requested and agreed upon. I'm not gay, or bi-curious and if a Dom requested me to be with another woman, well that would be crossing a hard limit for me and I'd refuse to do it. It wouldn't even get so far as me being handcuffed, because as soon as he brought it up, I would refuse. Just because submissives want to please their Doms doesn't mean we have to do everything they say, only the things we've agreed to do before hand.


And yes, I would admit to a wrong doing, a forgotten chore or an disobeyed order. I'm very honest that way.

< Message edited by erieangel -- 7/19/2011 2:53:34 AM >

(in reply to kykitten41)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do you confess? - 7/19/2011 7:03:48 PM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		Honesty is a big part of my relationship with my Master, so yes. I would tell him. If it was something he didn't notice before my confession, he would appreciate that I came forward about it; most likely, because I was honest and forward, any punishment he would originally have chosen to give would be severely reduced or even not given at all

(in reply to foxling)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do you confess? - 7/19/2011 7:41:59 PM   
kykitten41


Posts: 50
Status: offline 		i am not gay either...but i have read...(and been told.)... i would have no say in anything a MASTER..would choose to do(...such as ...having as many women..friends...ect....as he wished....and i could not question).. that my only role would be to "serve' and( only through his will..to be allowed to breathe..if thats what he wanted)...i know i could not be with another female..whether he wished it...commanded it or willed it.

"...i admit i have a major problem with the idea of only being "allowed to breathe" i....i know that if that would be my only ..purpose...in belonging..to him...being his "property"....and only allowed to obey(..to things that go against my nature.)....then i feel i would have no purpose..to him
....as a woman..sub/slave or as a human being.

and i know all master/doms ..have diffrent ideas of what they expect from sub/slaves..i just think i would need more..to be happy..in serving one.. than to be allowed to " just breathe."

(in reply to erieangel)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do you confess? - 7/19/2011 11:20:08 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		The whole reason I decided this was the type of relationship I wanted was because of the freedom to be totally honest, and have someone really know me. Of course I would confess and be happy to take the consequences.

< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 7/19/2011 11:21:00 PM >

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do you confess? - 7/20/2011 11:58:26 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		See the thing is, Daddy would of never found out what I had done if I hadn't told, so I could of easily kept shut, and nobody would be the wiser at the saying goes. But I knew, and I didn't like to keep that from him.



quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemoth

Yes confess or the boundaries become blurred i am sure it will be favorable to own up than to be found out  



_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to slavemoth)
Profile   Post #: 40
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