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RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 6:16:33 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexiestsub

I am very new to this lifestyle (only a couple months) and this is my first Master/slave relationship. I entered into it very quickly.



How "quickly" was "very quickly" -- a week, a month, or ???

quote:


Now I know that I would do it totally different. I guess a type of trial period to see if we are suited for each other would have been the best thing.



I'm curious what you mean by a "trial period"?  If you mean just moving in with different Doms/Masters to "try" things out, then that's not a plan either.  Assuming you're seeking something long-term, a better plan would be to approach it the same way you would ANY relationship -- i.e., it takes however long it takes to know if the two of you are compatible, mentally... emotionally... sexually... and so forth.  Only THEN do you take the next step to a 24/7 dynamic.

quote:


I am very submissive and obey everything he says (which is really nothing). And the sex is very vanilla by the way too. This is not what I had envisioned at all.



Out of pure curiosity... what exactly had you "envisioned" a 24/7 dynamic to be?!!  I hope you realize no 24/7 dynamic is without its "vanilla" elements -- but again, I would be interested in knowing what you'd "envisioned" things would be like?!!


quote:


I guess I will ask him to release me.



Again... a total crock of shit with this "ask him to release [you]" garbage -- if you want to leave, then fucking leave.  If you need his help (financially) in doing so, then sit down, speak with him as an adult, tell him things have not worked out (for you) as you expected, that you think you're better off as friends, and that you'd very much appreciate his help and understanding through this difficult time.  Period.





< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 7/18/2011 6:21:19 PM >

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RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 7:31:01 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexiestsub

Ok well, frankly my Master isn't very good. He is hardly controlling, demanding, or dominant. He just seems like a very lazy Master. So, my question is- Can I get a new one or am I stuck with him?



How old are you, honey?

[That's a rhetorical question. That means you're not supposed to actually answer it.]


(in reply to sexiestsub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 7:52:38 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Oh, come now, let's be nice here. She's already admitted to being very new to this whole thing. Like none of us screwed up in the beginning? Hm... actually... I don't recall any on my part, now that I think about it, but, that's beside the point. I may be a hallucination, but I am a perfect hallucination. ;)

Hon, you jumped in, eyes closed, head first, and the water was a bit shallow there. Now you know a little better and can move forward in life. You'd break up with a crappy boyfriend, that's all he really is, to be honest.

Next time, I would suggest spending more time getting to know the person as, just that, a person. Find out about how compatible you really are in all areas, then give it a trial run. :)

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 8:15:14 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		Do you live with him or something? Why dont you just tell him to fuck off?

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RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 8:35:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

Oh, come now, let's be nice here. She's already admitted to being very new to this whole thing. Like none of us screwed up in the beginning?

I'll admit that I did.

At the same time, I didn't grab a megaphone to announce it to the world.  I prefer to keep My stupid moments private.


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 8:45:39 PM   
BlackTigerDragon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/1/2010
Status: offline 		I'm confused. Is 'Master' a new slang word for underpants now?

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 9:16:57 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon

I'm confused. Is 'Master' a new slang word for underpants now?



I hope not. Especially bras. You get a bad one, you're still stuck with it, and goddamn those things are expensive!

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 9:58:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		No take backs. You're stuck with him.



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Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 11:18:27 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexiestsub

Ok well, frankly my Master isn't very good. He is hardly controlling, demanding, or dominant. He just seems like a very lazy Master. So, my question is- Can I get a new one or am I stuck with him?




How would you feel if he came onto the boards and said:

Ok well, frankly my sub isn't very good. She is whiny, demanding and not very submissive. She just seems like a very lazy sub.

You'd be ticked off, and for good reason.

You come across as being very young and impatient. If you don't think the relationship can be fixed, go and find one that works better for you. As other posters have said, if you don't like it, leave.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Master sucks - 7/18/2011 11:58:18 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexiestsub
Now I know that I would do it totally different.

Good thinking. You might consider trying it out for real some time. That's going to take an awful lot of thought and introspection before you can even figure out what "real" means [to you, not me] and then you're going to need to set about the job seriously... both in terms of finding an actual master and in terms of being an actual slave. When you get the right mix of master & slave though, it can be really rewarding.


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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Master sucks - 7/19/2011 10:46:35 AM   
candisa


Posts: 127
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexiestsub

So, my question is- Can I get a new one or am I stuck with him?


Did you save the receipt?


Even with the receipt there is usually a thirty day return policy.
Past the thirty days, no money back and no store credit.
Sounds like a case of " Buyers Remorse"
Option #2 You can always try to sell him on E bay

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respectfully,
candisa

Freely we serve, because we freely love, as in our will
To love or not; in this we stand or fall.



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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Master sucks - 7/19/2011 11:44:22 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Out of pure curiosity... what exactly had you "envisioned" a 24/7 dynamic to be?!! 
I'm curious about this too. Most of the people who complain that someone is "___ enough" it's because they have unrealistic and romanticized ideas about what this should be. Stop reading Castlerealm dammit.

I'll also add that you're "very new" and rushed into a 24/7 D/s relationship. Try taking it slow next time.


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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Master sucks - 7/19/2011 12:07:11 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candisa


quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexiestsub

So, my question is- Can I get a new one or am I stuck with him?


Did you save the receipt?


Even with the receipt there is usually a thirty day return policy.
Past the thirty days, no money back and no store credit.
Sounds like a case of " Buyers Remorse"
Option #2 You can always try to sell him on E bay



If she got him at Costco they will take her return up to a full year, which is why I do a lot of shopping with Costco

To SexiestSub....

I think what BKSir said was the most appropriate advice on this thread... lifestyle relationships at their root are not much different than other ones... if you are not satisfied then you approach it like any other vanilla relationship. Basically, you end it. No need for asking for release, because lets face it, you do not need his permission to leave, and if he refused it you would leave anyways.

BKSir is also right that we all make mistakes, especially when we are new to something, but if you apply most of the same guidelines to this relationship as you would to any other, next time you will do much better.

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Master sucks - 7/19/2011 5:16:26 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

If you got him at Kohls, they will take it back without a receipt.


But you need the credit card you used to make the purchase.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Master sucks - 7/19/2011 6:08:10 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexiestsub

Ok well, frankly my Master isn't very good. He is hardly controlling, demanding, or dominant. He just seems like a very lazy Master. So, my question is- Can I get a new one or am I stuck with him?

LMFAO

Geesh....you know, it's REALLY easy to determine when school is in session, and when it's not. Who the fuck needs a calendar?

Just come read some posts and you will know right away.


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Master sucks - 7/20/2011 8:57:54 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexiestsub

Thank you to everyone who responded so far. I am very new to this lifestyle (only a couple months) and this is my first Master/slave relationship. I entered into it very quickly. Now I know that I would do it totally different. I guess a type of trial period to see if we are suited for each other would have been the best thing. Anyway one responder said that I may be "too much work" and believe me that is not the case. I am very submissive and obey everything he says (which is really nothing). And the sex is very vanilla by the way too. This is not what I had envisioned at all. I guess I will ask him to release me. I am a litte scared though.


I know this is all confusing when you're new and all you know is probably from some kinky stories and online roleplaying. But getting to know a potential Dom/Master in real life isn't really that different from getting to know a boyfriend. Go on some dates, get to know each other, mess around a bit, learn what each others' interests and relationship style and life goals are. Just generally see if you're really compatible, no matter how tingly and subby they make you feel, before you get serious and commit.

But another thing to be aware of is that 24/7 power exchange relationships aren't like what you see in stories or you might imagine. When I first got interested in 24/7 I imagined it was going to feel just like when I submitted in the bedroom, only all the time. But in my experience, it's not really like that. You still have to deal with all the same boring vanilla life stuff, and you're probably not going to feel tingly and subby every time you have to walk the dog, even if Master told you to do it. This may or may not be an issue for you.

That being said, there are still different styles among Doms/Masters. Some (like probably your Master) expect you to learn what they want of you and then just do it without them having to tell you all the time. Others will want to tell you what to do every moment, even whether or not you can pee. Some like high protocol and formality, and others hate that and want a more casual dynamic. Some will usually have heavy kinky play, and others usually do lighter play or even no play. And all shades in between.

ETA: That doesn't mean that one style of dominance sucks.... just means that that style isn't what you want, and you need to find someone that fits you better.

Good luck finding someone compatible with you. :)

< Message edited by graceadieu -- 7/20/2011 8:59:52 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Master sucks - 7/20/2011 9:25:33 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		Very nice response graceadieu. Nicely said

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Master sucks - 7/21/2011 1:10:10 AM   
pwnerandpwned


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu



But another thing to be aware of is that 24/7 power exchange relationships aren't like what you see in stories or you might imagine. When I first got interested in 24/7 I imagined it was going to feel just like when I submitted in the bedroom, only all the time. But in my experience, it's not really like that. You still have to deal with all the same boring vanilla life stuff, and you're probably not going to feel tingly and subby every time you have to walk the dog, even if Master told you to do it. This may or may not be an issue for you.


Sho' Nuff!!


< Message edited by pwnerandpwned -- 7/21/2011 1:12:48 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Master sucks - 7/21/2011 1:47:05 AM   
Palliata


Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline 		Why not be grateful? So many people think being a dom means performing oral sex is unbecoming...

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I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Master sucks - 7/21/2011 2:09:10 AM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata
So many people think being a dom means performing oral sex is unbecoming...


..but fortunately, not ALL of us. Oral sex is a beautiful thing; I cannot cheerfully imagine a world without it, not from either side of the kneel.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programme..

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Profile   Post #: 40
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