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How does one Protect themselves when first meeting some... - 10/14/2004 3:02:36 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		When first meeting a Domm or Domme, Master, Mistress
or Sub, Slave. What is the Best way to Protect ones self,
during the First meeting??

Sincerely, eyesofAslave


quote:

"If the Woman has 3 Breats and You have looked Twice,
then the Woman has three Breats. Unless Your Drunk!"




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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 3:10:54 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Hey knees where have you been? There have been a lot of threads on this. I don't have much time right now, but later tonight i will dig some up for you. Curious--are you planning to meet someone soon?

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 3:21:23 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Proudsub Yes i was collard and going to meet
someone in the near future~~
I'm sure there have been threads, just wandering if things have changed it has been awhile since I've had to know any of this~

Sincerely, eyesofAslave




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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 3:55:21 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

When first meeting a Domm or Domme, Master, Mistress
or Sub, Slave. What is the Best way to Protect ones self,
during the First meeting??


the best way is a public meeting, taking a friend who sits nearby, a cell phone with a safe call set up, and never leave with them to go back to their home. get references, speak to them on the phone, as well as by email and on messenger....

that is what this slave was told when she had her first r/l meeting and is glad she did :D

cariad

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 5:12:15 PM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline 		Cariad is right on track. I think a safe call is very important and be sure to tell the person you are meeting that you are making one. Your post indicates that you are collared by this person - I must have misread if you have not yet met him. Personal information that you can verify, you probably already have this (I am always appreciative when it is offered and I do not have to ask). ONLY GO TO MEET IN PUBLIC!!! Do not go anywhere in his car on the first meet, do not go to his home on the first meet. Make certain it is stated before the meet that you are MEETING not playing, not having sex, etc. Having someone with you is great. Set up check in times and adhere to them - call in on time so your safe call person knows you are safe.

Take care of your safety issues and have a great time.

newflowers


< Message edited by newflowers -- 10/14/2004 5:13:34 PM >

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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 5:23:09 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I must agree with Cariad and Newflowers. Safe call. Get references prior. Everyone I ever met whom I did not meet at a munch I had plenty of pictures of, even a copy of their drivers license faxed to me in a file left at home.

Iwill, used to say he would send himself an e-mail saying where he went and with whom. On his pc, that way in case he never came back at least the cops would know what murders door to knock on. Of course, this is providing you have valid info on them to begin with.

Personally I'd meet at a munch if you can. If not, just make sure a good friend knows where you are. Don't go anywhere with them. I would'nt even allow them to see which car I got into. Maybe I'm paranoid but hey I'm still here and I'm safe.

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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 5:26:23 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Ok knees, here are three threads for you:

first meeting guidelines

dos and don'ts

first time jitters



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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 5:35:16 PM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you
When first meeting a Domm or Domme, Master, Mistress
or Sub, Slave. What is the Best way to Protect ones self,
during the First meeting??


Arm yourself with intelligence, common sense and don't let your genitals rule you.

Denise

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Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 6:14:36 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

Your post indicates that you are collared by this person - I must have misread if you have not yet met him


That threw me off too when I first came to the boards. I have always thought that the "meeting" came before the collaring, lol. However there seems to be an online collaring that takes place prior to meeting in some situations.

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Lady Beckett

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"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to newflowers)
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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 6:51:21 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		a. Meet at a mutual public location and make sure that a third party knows where and with whom you are meeting.
b. Meet at a local Munch
c. Before meeting make sure YOU have thier real phone number and address.( do a lil checking out first)
d. Get reference from a mutual friend
e. most important.. TRUST YOUR lil inner voice..

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Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 7:37:15 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Beyond the standard safe calls, meeting in public, etc... The best advice I heard was from Lady Shoshin. She has a cooling off period. She plans the meeting, in public and then, no matter what comes up or what temptation, she leaves on her own and arranges a second meeting after a cooling off period. This is such excellent advice. I've never been unsafe but I'm glad I took a cooling off period. It gives you a chance to reconsider instead of going with the passion of the moment. Or, you can come to your senses and realize you were only hearing what you wanted to hear and ignoring what was really being said/ expected. Anyway, it is the best advice about meetings that I have read.

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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/14/2004 9:13:48 PM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

However there seems to be an online collaring that takes place prior to meeting in some situations.


Question: if you are collared before the meet, what happens if you meet and decides that you don't really like the person? Kind of like when you meet someone and there is something about them that is just icky or not right.

This is intersting to me and new information as I purposefully do not participate in the online deal.

newflowers

(in reply to LadyBeckett)
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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/15/2004 5:21:50 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		Heck, I don't collar people until I've spent a long time with a person, I take the collar vary serious. If I can't see spending the rest of my life with them, I won't collar them. You can serve a person without a collar. I always tell them. No Bling on my finger, no ring around your neck.. Ok Ok I know that sounds crass. But I take them both to be equal levels of commitment.

Back to the topic.

I meet people all the time from Online. Yes it is always in a publice place and the advice above is all prudent. However I will say this. At some point you have to "Fish or cut bait".. in other words you have to take some risk.. Don't be stupid.. have a safe call in place or don't go alone. But don't be unwilling to meet, or talk to a person. Never go home with them the first time without knowing in your gut they are harmless. And yes.. a cooling off period is necessary and wise. Hell Even my hormones get the best of me sometimes.

I too have had some scary moments in meeting people dealing with stalkers and overly agressive males. I always make sure I'm on a level playing field and that they know it. If it means bringing someone with me, or even packing a pistol if need be. But the key thing is checking them out and taking the time to interview them over the phone and verify what they say is true.

Just my .02
Eden

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"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to newflowers)
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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/15/2004 6:33:51 AM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

But the key thing is checking them out and taking the time to interview them over the phone and verify what they say is true.


Verification is very important. I once had someone give me false information - and I do always check. When he called and I said something, he was offended that I was so distrusting.

BE CAREFUL!!! You cannot be too careful.

newflowers


(in reply to MaitresseEden)
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RE: How does one Protect themselves when first meeting ... - 10/15/2004 7:24:45 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Good Luck knees! i am excited for you but please do be careful. You have gotten a lot of good advice here and there is nothing more important then you safety.

Don't feel you can't check them out or feel you are being distrusting because you have to know they are not lying about anything before you go.

I've always been real lucky in my meeting Doms from online - but i still am careful when i do!

Hugs and let us all know how things went soon as you can!
jenn

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 15
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