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novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 8:15:41 AM

servantnj

Posts: 39
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Dear F/friends,

i have been dreaming about cuckolding for a while. While married to elegant, "rich bitch" type i often fantasize about her business meetings, lunches, evenings out, to turn into more then business.

Being together for a long time, we started exploring this lifestyle together. So now she knows my desire, to be her submissive household servant. And she is more playful then i expected. She allows me to prepare her outfits, to polish her heels, sometime even dress bit too provocatively for work. She is very attractive, seductive friendly personality, interesting in 3somes etc. Now when i approached with the idea, she didnt like the humiliation part of it but was very interested in scenario.

So she acted and for her next business lunch she dressed up very sexy, allowed me to assist her picking the right fuck me heels, polish them while she was at the gym, teased me with pictures. But instead of going with my fantasy i become jealous, i freaked out. Mostly because i didnt know all the details, and i wasnt there. Of course i wasnt invited there, what would i do on her business lunch, and she couldnt give me all the details, there was other things to do then to constantly text me, sitting home alone, waiting......

what went wrong? why did i freak out?

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 8:37:30 AM

PrincessDonna1

Posts: 21
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I would think it would be because you wanted to be in the fantasy to completion

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 9:03:25 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
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servantnj,

--- what went wrong? why did i freak out?

Fantasy meets reality. The two are not the same thing. Communicate your feelings to your partner and listen to hers, make adjustments together, and try again. Or, as I've sometimes found, it may be that the reality doesn't work as well as the fantasy. Some fantasies are better left in the mind than played out.

Loosely related suggestion: change the "elegant, rich bitch" reference to your partner. Something like "elegant, professional woman" will likely help you get better answers.

E.

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 9:05:05 AM

RqrCompanionS

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2011
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I thought the feelings with being jealous and freaking out, needing reassurance and getting it later, was the point?

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 11:24:17 AM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
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So it sounded better than it played out, this is life. Who knows why you freaked. You know how some things sound like they'll taste wonderful on the menu, so you order it and it's not all that when you taste it? So either change things up to have the scenarios include you or don't do it anymore. The world won't end, I'm sure you'll find other things to pique your interest before long.

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 2:48:22 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I agree completely with Elan. Fantasy met reality and reality wasn't as fun with real feelings attached to it. You found that real jealousy, envy, etc didn't feel quite as good as those hot, exciting fantasies that you had about the idea.

I'm going to say something about cuckolding that I say about very few kinks. Rape fantasies go in this category, too. Some things are great fantasies but for some people, they should remain fantasies. You can not put the toothpaste back in the tube. You may *think* you're ready, *hope* you're ready, or even be thoroughly convinced that you're ready, but when the rubber hits the road and you *weren't* ready or it makes you feel differently than you thought it would, you can't take it back. That is something I honestly think folks should do when they want to venture into these extreme forms of play. Take their mind through every worst case scenario that they can think of and carefully consider if they can live with the fall out, because if you can't, that might be exactly what you're left with.

It's all fun and games until it isn't anymore.

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 3:44:30 PM

Kaliko

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I absolutely adore this type of dynamic, only it's him, the dominant male, that is spending his time with other women, making comparisons to me, etc....Love it, love it, love it.

Did she actually have sex with someone else at that business meeting? Or was it just that you didn't know at all whether she did or didn't? (Some safety issues to be concerned about there, that you probably won't like my solution to.)

Had you explored this type of feeling in any other ways? Maybe the business meeting is, in fact, a little too real right off the bat.

My (ex, sort of) Dominant and I explored my feelings in this area in a number of different ways, long before we even knew that's what we were headed for. How do you feel if you both sit down and people watch, and she comments on how other men look and makes comparisons to you? Good? Then try some more. Jealous heebie jeebies? Stop. Retreat. How about if she chats online with a man - even just a casual conversation on a message board somewhere (kind of like I'm doing now LOL) - while you prepare her dinner, serve it for her, etc...she holds her attention on him, not you. See how that makes you feel. Still good? Try some bolder steps.

Maybe you've done all that, I don't know. I will say, it took us literally years to reach the point where we both said "Yes...go fuck her!" So, if it is sex that she jumped right into, I can certainly see how your feelings could have taken you aback and maybe it's not wrong for you, just too fast. If it's not that, then, perhaps fantasy is a good place for it to stay, which can be wonderful in itself, of course.

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 7:00:07 PM

Lockit

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You are in control of a fantasy. When your fantasy started to take place in a more real way... you got to meet the part where you had no control.

I agree with the others.

Fantasies can be dangerous places to allow yourself to go, if you have taken yourself out of a realistic place you could actually go to emotionally or physically. I don't mind a good fantasy, but I keep them within a reality base. Nothing like trying to compete with a fantasy a man has filled his head with... and his lust... with something that even he could never handle. If he doesn't get it and goes overboard with it, wanting her to do it, be it, breath it and pushing too hard or he didn't know even his own limitations... it can sure create havoc on a relationship.

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 8:38:48 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Um. Having sexy time at a business meeting? Dressing provocatively at work?

This is awesome fantasy material. Real life? Your wife would honestly endanger her professional reputation?

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 8:47:02 PM

lockedaway

Posts: 1720
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LOLOLOL why did you freak out? Because you are a normal guy with normal jealousy issues. Cuckolding is a VERY dangerous fantasy to make reality. Most women (most) like masculinity in a man. If you put yourself in the position of the subservient, sissy cuckold, what is going to end up happening is that she is going to find some guy that bills himself out as a bull, she is going to sleep with him, develop feelings for him and your relationship is going to be over...morte...fin.

It is better kept a fantasy. You are asking a great deal of your wife (who sounds like a recent inductee to this lifestyle) to flirt with men, perhaps become intimate with men, continue to view those men only as a finger snack/enhancement of her primary relationship with you and not develop strong feelings, independent of you and to your eventual exclusion.

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 9:16:01 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: servantnj
what went wrong? why did i freak out?

I agree with what others have said. Cuckolding is one of the most difficult fantasies for most men to turn into reality. The reason is that jealousy is normal. It's normal to find the idea of your wife being with another man to be distasteful. It's normal to find the idea of your wife being more attracted to another man than she is to you to be uncomfortable.

You got upset over a scene that was actually incredibly mild. Based on this, I'd suggest that you leave cuckolding in the realm of fantasy.

In order to actually be a cuckold, your wife would have had to have actually had sex with another man. If you couldn't handle your wife having a business lunch (even if she was dressed seductively), I'm certain you couldn't handle another man fucking your wife better than you do. In fact, based on how you responded to the lunch, you'd likely end up in jail if she made you a true cuck.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 7/21/2011 9:17:13 PM >

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RE: novice into cuckolding..... - 7/21/2011 9:19:48 PM

lockedaway

Posts: 1720
Joined: 3/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: servantnj
what went wrong? why did i freak out?

I agree with what others have said. Cuckolding is one of the most difficult fantasies for most men to turn into reality. The reason is that jealousy is normal. It's normal to find the idea of your wife being with another man to be distasteful. It's normal to find the idea of your wife being more attracted to another man than she is to you to be uncomfortable.

You got upset over a scene that was actually incredibly mild. Based on this, I'd suggest that you leave cuckolding in the realm of fantasy.

In order to actually be a cuckold, your wife would have had to have actually had sex with another man. If you couldn't handle your wife having a business lunch (even if she was dressed seductively), I'm certain you couldn't handle another man fucking your wife better than you do. In fact, based on how you responded to the lunch, you'd likely end up in jail if she made you a true cuck.

Yup...leave it as a fantasy. Unless you are going to experiment with bisexuality. Are you read for that????????? At least then you would have a modicum of control because you could be involved.

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