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Buying presents - 7/21/2011 3:25:28 PM

UberBrat

Posts: 45
Joined: 5/14/2011
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Hi,

My Master's birthday is pretty soon, and I'm struggling a little for a present to buy him. I have an idea, (I don't want to say in case he reads this), but am wondering if anyone else struggles with this at all. Any time I've bought up the topic, he's said he's not really bothered, doesn't care much for presents etc etc, but I'd like to get him something, or do something for him.

I'm not looking for gift suggestions, (although an idea that I could maybe tailor to him might be nice), but am wondering if anyone else finds this difficult, and how you've managed to come up with something that is good for him/her

Post #: 1

RE: Buying presents - 7/21/2011 3:34:46 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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I find it difficult to buy gifts for absolutely anyone not just Him.

I've learned over the years to pay attention though when anyone talks or we go shopping and they are looking at something and then I either jot it down or put it in the back of my mind for later gift buying.

According to both my daughter and Him I'm great at buying gifts for this very reason. Still doesn't make it easy though because I have to really pay attention.

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Post #: 2

RE: Buying presents - 7/21/2011 3:49:33 PM

whatisthewhat

Posts: 43
Joined: 4/12/2011
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I am good at "big presents"--the tickets he wanted, the vacation (though not exclusively paid for by me), the event. However, these are out of the ordinary gifts for landmark occasions. At smaller things, I stink. He buys whatever he wants, whenever he wants it, so I'm left without any ideas.

BTW, noticing the Big Picture vs. the smaller details is an issue for me with buying anyone presents. I wish I were like littlewonder and could train myself to notice the details--though I do try and have gotten a tad better at it.

So I've actually found that the best gifts for him from me are either new pieces of lingerie for me that I wear for him (I can purchase anything under $500 w/o his approval--don't know if you have financial restrictions in your relationship), or something from a wishlist I convinced him to create on a bdsm website for clothing, toys, etc, from which I can choose. A couple of times, I've even bought an item similar to what was on the wishlist and was congratulated on my choice.

Good luck! Buying gifts for those whom you wish to please most can be a bit anxiety inducing.

(in reply to UberBrat)

Post #: 3

RE: Buying presents - 7/21/2011 6:01:27 PM

avena

Posts: 80
Joined: 12/4/2010
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I have the same struggle. Buying presents for D is almost impossible. First of all, he's in a financial position in his life now where, if he wants something, he buys it for himself. The few things that he can't or won't just buy on a whim for himself are well beyond my spending limits. Second of all, he doesn't see a big deal in a lot of the traditional 'present buying holidays' - birthdays, Christmas, etc. I've taken to DOING things for him rather than buying things for him, as tokens on the special occasions of life.

A morning kiss, a whispered happy birthday, and a full bottle of warming lube that I picked up just for the occasion make for a very memorable birthday present...and the warming lube can be used again and again until it's all gone. Nothing phenomenal really, but it's also not part of our 'normal' play time practices, so it works.

(in reply to UberBrat)

Post #: 4

RE: Buying presents - 7/21/2011 6:19:32 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

Buying presents for D is almost impossible. First of all, he's in a financial position in his life now where, if he wants something, he buys it for himself.

His being able to buy it himself isn't the important thing. What is important is that it come from YOU. On the other hand, doing things for him is very cool! But don't give up the idea of buying something for him if that's what you want to do.

Zeph

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Post #: 5

RE: Buying presents - 7/21/2011 6:28:15 PM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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I don't have a problem with choosing the right gift to buy for Daddy because I know him well & what he really likes and doesn't.

~Hisprettybaby~

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Post #: 6

RE: Buying presents - 7/21/2011 6:30:54 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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You've no idea!..:) It's a few days until M's birthday and as usual I haven't a damn clue. He'll get what he always gets........a faintly adequate owned girl who thinks rather a lot of him. I think that's as good as it gets.

agirl

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Post #: 7

RE: Buying presents - 7/21/2011 6:32:39 PM

kykitten41

Posts: 50
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i read your profile..have you ever thought about taking a belly dancing class?..(that is if you can take the classes .. without spoiling the suprise )...and dance for him on his birthday?..,,a few Dom's like their subs to dance for them...and.....depending on your budget...(they aren't very expensive) that or some other kind of dance class?....maybe burlesque?,,,strip tease..?...hopefully he would be pleasaed...just an idea..

(in reply to UberBrat)

Post #: 8

RE: Buying presents - 7/21/2011 6:54:28 PM

UberBrat

Posts: 45
Joined: 5/14/2011
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littlewonder - you sound pretty awesome at buying gifts with your method; no wonder you buy good presents. I will try that out for his next birthday, and see if I'm able to spot him looking and admiring anything!

I'm also in the position where my Master is financially successful, and can pretty much just buy what he wants when he wants - so there aren't any affordable things that he wants or needs that i can get him - he already has them!

We don't have a bdsm checklist as such, as I think we've got everything he wants. Perhaps I could see if I could find a ring gag that fits me, as the one we currently have is too big, and I know he wants a smaller one.

agirl - i'm afraid i might not be able to provide anything much more than that; a fairly ordinary girl who does not deserve him. But, that seems to satisfy him!

kykitten - that's quite a good idea! Unfortunately, i imagine i would probably make the most horrific dancer imaginable, and so would probably find that more humiliating and it wouldn't be a turn on for him at all. I think that's a superb idea for people who aren't as awful as me though lol!

(in reply to kykitten41)

Post #: 9

RE: Buying presents - 7/21/2011 8:46:05 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I don't buy exciting gifts but useful ones. The Man won't buy clothes until he doesn't have any left worth wearing. And his idea of what's still good enough to wear is my idea of clothes only suitable for painting the house in. So he gets clothes. I do the laundry so I notice when his favorite shirt is getting worn out. Some years ago I bought him a microfleece jacket that he just loved, and wore thin. So last Christmas I bought him the exact same one as a replacement.

He's fond of eagles, so I can buy him a photo of them, a painting or even tees with that screened on them. Boring presents, I know.

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Post #: 10

RE: Buying presents - 7/22/2011 12:03:08 PM

littleone35

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Joined: 2/17/2005
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You are not alone. Whwnever i ask Master what he wants for his birthday he says you. I tell him you already have me what else do you want. He says just you. I love him, but it is like pulling teeth to get an idea out of him. I usually get him his cream puffs or i make brownies. At least that way i know he will get something he likes.

Matt's littleone

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Post #: 11

RE: Buying presents - 7/22/2011 6:23:34 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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I stopped giving surprise gifts for bday/xmas some time ago. Now I ask. I might give a surprise as a surprise.

(in reply to UberBrat)

Post #: 12

RE: Buying presents - 7/23/2011 6:24:20 AM

mysouldesire

Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline

don't think so hard....look at the man or woman and think of who and what they are, what they enjoy, a secret passion they shared with you..... then give an appropriate gift.

Giving a "domly" or "subly" gift is not what this is all about is it? If yes, then give them a toy.

Here's an example...for a person who has everything they want......
my nephew is an accomplished carpenter at his very young age.... he and his wife were with us for Thanksgiving and just talking...me LISTENING..... he didn't know what the trees looked like from the different exotic woods he used.
So I went to Amazon and bought him a book on trees...12.95. He was blown away and looked up some tree I'd never heard of and said he had just made a desk with the wood and went on and on about the wood......... twas quite fascinating.

< Message edited by mysouldesire -- 7/23/2011 6:56:19 AM >

(in reply to UberBrat)

Post #: 13

RE: Buying presents - 7/23/2011 6:32:48 AM

Epytropos

Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
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The key to buying presents, in my estimation, is to buy them something you know they will love but which they would never think to buy for themselves. I don't know your dom, so I can't do much for you in specifics, but that's the sort of presents I like to receive and if I'm going to any trouble over it that's the kind of presents I give. It shows you know the person, it provides a real surprise as opposed to the "Oh wow you got that thing you knew for a fact I wanted because I've talked about it a million times isn't that nice" kind of surprise that is so common with gift-giving, and it enriches their life in a way they wouldn't think to enrich it themselves, thereby demonstrating your value as more than a walking ATM.

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Post #: 14

RE: Buying presents - 7/23/2011 7:03:13 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

The key to buying presents, in my estimation, is to buy them something you know they will love but which they would never think to buy for themselves. I don't know your dom, so I can't do much for you in specifics, but that's the sort of presents I like to receive and if I'm going to any trouble over it that's the kind of presents I give. It shows you know the person, it provides a real surprise as opposed to the "Oh wow you got that thing you knew for a fact I wanted because I've talked about it a million times isn't that nice" kind of surprise that is so common with gift-giving, and it enriches their life in a way they wouldn't think to enrich it themselves, thereby demonstrating your value as more than a walking ATM.

and to expand on this it doesn't even have to be something useful or store bought or even cost much at all. For example when my daughter moved out on her own I bought a relatively cheap but nice photobook, printed out a bunch of photos of her from the day she was born up until the present day. She absolutely loved it. It took my time and barely any money at all and showed how much I love her to have saved all these photos and done all this work. Another year she had been asking me about a child's book she had remembered having as a kid. I told her i didn't know what happened to it. Probably got thrown away as she grew out of toys and childhood. So I searched high and low for this book that took me months to find. It ended up costing me a quarter on ebay lol...but she cried when I gave it to her at Christmas.

So as you see, sometimes it's just about listening to what they are saying, the situation, knowing how they feel about certain things. I'm of the opinion that these small types of gifts are what really show you love and care for a person. You care enough about them to actually pay attention to the small things....as my signature says "nothing is trivial".

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Post #: 15

RE: Buying presents - 7/24/2011 2:38:46 AM

foxling

Posts: 34
Joined: 6/17/2011
Status: offline

I very much agree with littlewonder. For me it's not about spending money but all about trying to create a reaction, trying to make them smile and show how much you care. I love getting people presents. I love working out what they'd like and keeping it a secret and putting it together. I also really like making presents - so my closest friends and family get a lot of food gifts, framed photos and sometimes jewellery I've made. Does he have an interests in sports, or hobbies, or anything like that to give a clue of the right direction to be going in? Sometimes it's just a case of finding the seed of an opening idea and running with it until you find something that's 'right'. Good luck!

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 16

RE: Buying presents - 7/24/2011 2:41:41 AM

avena

Posts: 80
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline

zephyr, it's not so much that he's able to buy it for himself...as he DOES buy it for himself. Which leaves me with limited options when it comes to shopping for him since he's already purchased what he wants.

In fact, I have to be careful not to look too many times at something, or I find myself answering the door to UPS handing me yet another package...I swear to gods the man has an eBAY fetish!!!

Back to the OP...

The suggestion of a dance class is awesome, and one I've actually been looking into myself. The only thing is that you do need enough time to take the classes before the big day to gain some level of proficiency. In my case, I'm hoping to make the dance class part of my 'fitness regime' so he won't ask too many questions. The question just becomes which class to take. There are a LOT of options, as kykitten listed a few.

And thank you littlewonder, for reminding me of one of my favourite ways to give gifts...the ones that show you're paying attention - to what someone says, doesn't say, and taking into consideration their emotional investure as well. I'm working on something for my own daughter right now, and something for D as well. Neither are gifts that need a special occasion to give. They're 'just because'...

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 17

RE: Buying presents - 7/24/2011 3:01:27 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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Nice topic, TY OP.

What hobbies does your man have?

Is he a collector?

Mine is into camping, fishing, the outdoors in general, also collecting coins, historical memorabilia, and (never to be forgotten) his thousands of historically accurate pewter miniature figures for war gaming (he's a GM).

So look at what your guy likes to do in his spare time and go from there. I have: caused a huge wall of shelving to be built to house his miniatures collection, put some historic memorabilia behind glass in a shadow box type arrangement that both displays and protects, sewn a desert gaming cloth (he was having trouble finding what he wanted).

None of these gifts were terribly expensive; all took time and effort and planning. All make it clear I love, support and embrace who he is and what he likes to do.

There is no better gift from a sub to his/her dom, IMO.

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Post #: 18

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