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LillyBoPeep -> RE: How to begin? (7/22/2011 7:02:35 AM)
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some local groups have mailing lists or presences on fetlife; they can provide a nice way to get familiar with some of the people in your community, but without the instant shell-shock some people are worried about with going to a munch, particularly by themselves.
but you really don't have to get into the community to have a fulfilling relationship, they're just great ways to network, meet people, and learn from the life experiences of others. there are lots of decent people who just aren't interested in the "community," but who are still perfectly wonderful people.
if you go googling, you can find websites and books about all sorts of BDSM topics, so you can start absorbing information and figuring out what submission means to you. when you're new, there's sometimes so much stuff going on that it's easy to get overwhelmed. it can also be hard to figure out just what you're after when you don't have lots of experience, but even so, working out your own thoughts is a good way to start -- even if some of your opinions change, taking the time to really think about it can never hurt you.
submissiveguide.com is a cool little site -- some people think it's cheesy, but i really liked it when i was keeping up with it. a lot of the articles are great thought-provokers.
just remember, keep your wits about you and use common sense. the rules of engagement that you learned from "vanilla life" still apply. you don't have to play with people or have sex with people in order to learn anything in the lifestyle. if you DO want to play and have sex with people, then have fun -- but don't let anyone tell you "you're not a real sub because you won't do X." =p if, in the vanilla world, you wouldn't meet a man you barely knew in a dark alley in the most provocative outfit you have, you don't have to do it in the BDSM world, either. =p
welcome and hopefully you'll enjoy yourself. ^_^
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