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RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/24/2011 5:07:20 PM   
ChasteDream


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/17/2011
Status: offline 		This is really a big problem for us guys, the way women deluge us with mails begging for our attention. Personally, once I've looked at a profile and don't think we'd be suitable, I tell them that. If I'm a bit unsure, I may say 'but feel free to convince me otherwise'. Next message would be 'thanks but no thanks' (assuming they didn't convince me!); and after that, it would be the old block-a-rooney!

I agree that it can be difficult to tell from nothing but online, or even telephone convo's. I've recently talked with someone I thought was great, and who made me laugh on the phone; only to meet and find she never stopped complaining about one thing after another in real life! So as the lady said, it ain't an exact science.

_____________________________

Sorry if I come across as a sarcastic and sour arsehole. Oh, hang on; no; actually I'm not..........

Nurse, pass the humour by-pass instrument; this man is having a humorrhage..........

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/24/2011 8:12:40 PM   
NumeroDos


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RqrCompanionS

Now, most people get really offended when they are told, very bluntly, that there is an obvious incompatibility of temperaments, or, that one can already see that while they seem to be nice people, they are not what one seeks. It's too fast, too blatant, and, it hurts their feelings, or, makes them angry.




This hasn't been my experience. I send at least 5 or 6 "no thanks" messages a day, and every guy thus far has taken it in stride. I think adding something friendly and positive at the end, like a "good luck!" will help to "soften the blow".

(in reply to RqrCompanionS)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 10:14:23 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Letting someone down gently could send the wrong message.  Before i met Master i would say thanks for the mail but i dont think we are compatable but have a good day.  Most everybody took it well and thoise who did not well block is your friend.  For me i would rathe have been told bluntly that it ain't gonna work that way That way i would not have wasted my time.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to NumeroDos)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 10:53:24 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		I've been sending  back messages that say "thanks but no thanks, not interested".  I have yet to receive hate mail, guess I've been lucky.  Those that don't take the hint and respond again get blocked.  I don't have the time or energy to argue with someone I know I'm not compatible with from the start.  

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"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 2:54:51 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

Life is not a series of destinations, and time spent in conversation which isn't going to lead to enslavement is not wastage. Why must everyone approach their lives with their clipboard firmly in hand, prepared either to use a situation to check off a specific box or to depart it immediately to seek a situation more suitable to the box?



Read Lady Pact's comment to know why.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Epytropos)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 3:19:32 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		 
Block, Tuck, and Roll...



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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 5:58:37 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		One email is all they are entitled to be polite. After that, if they don't get the message, you can always block them.

Note - they are entitled to that one email. If you don't give it to them, you are being rude.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 6:07:58 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

...they are entitled to that one email. If you don't give it to them, you are being rude.



FUCKING BULLSHIT... nobody.. read this s-l-o-w-l-y so it sinks in -- NOBODY has ANY obligation to reply to ANYONE. PERIOD!!!








< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 7/25/2011 6:12:07 PM >

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It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 6:10:55 PM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline 		If a polite "i am sorry, but i am not interested." does not work, i simply block. It it has gone past that point, and i can not block all access, i simply make myself as repulsive as possible. let them know the reason that you find yourself incompatible. demonstrate it if needed. Fart in public, and blame it on them. Letting someone down easy should only be a one shot deal. Loudly ask in public "You want to suck my what for how much?????"

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 6:31:15 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		I have been fortunate in that I don't receive alot of undesireable emails.
However, my thoughts are if someone is sending a "Hey, I think we should hook up" mail
to someone who is so far off the chart of compatibility, it's obvious they haven't taken
the time to read the profile. Who's to say they would bother to read, or heed, any response?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to atursvcMaam)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 6:39:44 PM   
risktaker9


Posts: 197
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

One email is all they are entitled to be polite. After that, if they don't get the message, you can always block them.

Note - they are entitled to that one email. If you don't give it to them, you are being rude.


Why are you being rude if you don't respond to an unsolicited email? That's complete BS and it's not any rule of general politeness that you have to write back once to a solicitation for your time from someone you know to be incompatible and that you never asked to receive mail from in the first place.

Yes, I have gotten rude emails back for responding and saying No Thanks. I have also gotten rude emails back from responding and saying we wouldn't be a match when I can see that from their profile, but obviously they think differently. Easy let downs aren't being kind, it allows the other person to think there is a chance at times and keeps their hopes up when that's not really the case.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/25/2011 7:57:22 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Count me in as one of the rude ones. I have zero problems with that. I rarely respond to the majority of emails I receive.99 percent automatically get deleted after I laugh at them.

It's like the emails I receive saying I've inherited a million dollars from my long lost Nigerian uncle. Should I respond to those too? How about the garbage snail mail I get telling me I've won a 2 week cruise to the Bahamas <if I'll just send them $199>?

All of those automatically get trashed too. If that means I'm rude...yup, I'm rude. <shrug>



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to risktaker9)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/26/2011 8:04:55 AM   
InsaneSerenity


Posts: 43
Joined: 2/18/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

...they are entitled to that one email. If you don't give it to them, you are being rude.



FUCKING BULLSHIT... nobody.. read this s-l-o-w-l-y so it sinks in -- NOBODY has ANY obligation to reply to ANYONE. PERIOD!!!




Amen, hell, half the time someone tries to talk to me in real life I don't really want to respond. That is if I actually hear them in the first place, I really hate people who think that if they say hi and you don't respond you somehow are being rude. Um, maybe you need to speak up? If you instantly start being a jerk because someone doesn't respond, then you obviously weren't worthy of any response to begin with.

< Message edited by InsaneSerenity -- 7/26/2011 8:05:49 AM >

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/26/2011 8:41:21 AM   
PrairieBlues


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/9/2011
Status: offline 		I respond to everyone based on what they have written to me. I don't care too much what they say in their profile, because anyone can be anything in a profile.

If they write something obviously stupid like "hi" or "want me to pimp you out and give you 10% of the cut"..... delete unread. Obviously.

If they write something reasonable-sounding, but uninteresting, I tell them "Thank you but I am not interested" in a plain manner.

If they write something more engaging or friendly, but too short, I tell them "Thank you but your message was so short that I couldn't tell if we'd get along or not. Would you like to tell me more about yourself?" That leads to longer and more interesting letters from most of those short no-info ones. But one man did scold me for not reading his profile, in which he insisted I could find out all I ever wanted to know!

If they try to have those annoying small-talk chit-chat discussions by mail, I tell them "I'm sorry but I'm not very good at small talk. I wouldn't mind having a discussion on more in-depth topics, though." Sometimes this leads to them trying to be funny and starting very silly discussions.... I like that, humor is good. Sometimes it only leads to them saying, "What would you like to talk about?" which is a waste of time and boring so I just delete those unread.

I do tend to be honest if one of the "Thank you but I am not interested" people comes back and nicely asks me the reason why. I tell him why. These people are rarely rude in response to it, and usually thank me for my insight. But if they come back in a rude or whiny manner to pester me and don't really just want to know the reason why, I delete their mails unread.

I guess my point is that I can usually tell who is going to be a jerk or a time-waster and who is genuinely trying to have a decent conversation. I don't need to have any rules in place to deal with people's mails. I do just fine responding in a normal and natural manner, the same as if I'd met them in person. Very few people become hostile when I do this. Remember that there are many mentally ill people online (as in real life) who are not taking their prescribed meds for a variety of reasons. If your letter to them was normal and rational, and they respond in an overly hostile or irrational manner, it is best to just not reply to them at all afterwards.... because they can't cope with reality no matter how nicely you say it.






(in reply to InsaneSerenity)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/26/2011 6:10:00 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

(in reply to PrairieBlues)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/26/2011 6:54:27 PM   
ellen6723


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/17/2011
Status: offline 		I say - Thank you for your interest, but you are not what I am looking for. Best of luck in your search.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/27/2011 12:06:12 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

I have been fortunate in that I don't receive alot of undesireable emails.

I had my rude email cherry popped today, and while the OP asks how much time should be
spent on remaining polite, I just learned that it only takes a few seconds to be rude.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/27/2011 12:58:44 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If someone writes me I do not immediately assume relationship interest.

99% or more, of the people on this site I have zero relationship interest in, as in, I don't have any desire to own their ass. This does not mean I do not find them interesting human beings worth getting to know. I email people for all sorts of reasons. I have emailed profiles that pop up on my home page, on the other side, because I saw something interesting in either their photo or words.......with no expectation of even a reply, let alone more.

Why would I assume others are immediately interested in being owned by me.......just because they write?

The only reason to stop replying is if there is no reason to reply. Of course I am also one of those people that do not feel a need to reply to each and every email. If I have nothing worth saying, I don't!


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/27/2011 12:59:28 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RqrCompanionS)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/27/2011 1:00:01 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Sweetpea, consider yourself lucky that it took this long to pop the rude e-mail cherry.  Mine was busted within days of joining the site almost 3 yrs ago.



_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Exactly how much time wastage is polite? - 7/27/2011 3:31:44 PM   
OwnedFemaleFlesh


Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline 		Unwanted messages are like junk mail - I'm under no obligation to write back and explain why I don't want them. If I'm feeling particularly courteous, or if they seem especially nice I might reply with an excuse. I inwardly groan when they insist on staying in touch 'as friends' as this invariably means boring, meaningless messages saying 'how are you?' and 'found a Master yet?' until such a time as you guiltily block and ignore them. I just can't continue fake, shallow, pointless, meaningless 'friendships' where I have no interest / nothing in common with the person writing to me!

owned xxx


(in reply to RqrCompanionS)
Profile   Post #: 40
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