RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (Full Version)

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bandit25 -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (6/5/2006 3:21:07 AM)

I've not been in a true Daddy/girl relationship, but I feel much the same way you do TNstepsout.  I am very attracted to it.  I was very close with my dad, but he worked long, hard hours and I didn't have much time with him.  Also, I come from a family with 6 kids!  I always felt safe and loved with my father...had a few issues with my mother, but nothing to go to the therapist over.  As far as cathartic experiences, well, I must say that I'm with juliana.  I have them pretty frequently.  No, I don't seek out or enter a realtionship based on that, but it does happen.  Rather, certain dynamics within said relationship cause these cathartic experiences.  And, again, I agree with juliana regarding the healing qualities of relationships.  We play many roles in life and they are all necessary/essential.  I don't call my Dom daddy, but he has referred to me as his "little girl".  Makes me melt every time.



EdensDevil -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (6/5/2006 12:51:57 PM)

My take on the idea of a Daddy/daughter relationship in the D/s world is that it is perfect for me. Although I cannot even really differenciate D/s from vanilla as I have been in a 24/7 relationship for almost a year.
The funny part is that I was always into the kinkier side of me, Where as my faince was more into a vanilla life....or so I thought.

While in our home we are always "in charecter" I suppose you could say, but its just a normal occerance. We live by an old set of rules. Very domestic, man in charge of pretty much everything. Women does housework and stays home. Its not as empowering as a lot of people would see. Nor is it in any way the norm now a days. But if we didn't enjoy it we wouldent be doing it. I am a very meek and indesisive person. I would much rather have someone make decisions for me then myself having to do it. This is not to say that I don't have an opinion, a lot of times because I am submissive (and in all right the submissive tends to control everything without lifting a finger) I can usually persuade him to let me have things, or made the finial decision. But because he's a man it's good for him to think he's done all the work.


I never had a father figure when I was growing up, I never really tried to make a connection with him untill last year. That turned out to be a horrible mistake and if My faince was not there to save me from the situation I dont know where I could be now.

Over all I enjoy having a mentor. My faince is my best friend, my hero and the embodyment of what I see as being the perfect mate. Why not play the Daddy I never had too?








sexysubnyc74 -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (6/13/2006 1:08:19 AM)

For me, the daddy thing is crazy hot because what is more submissive than a young unknowing girl and the experienced authority figure. Ugghh I got so sick of vanilla partners asking me if I had been molested as a child...my dad is the nicest man in the world, and no he would /has never. I just love the submission. You may want to avoid this play if this kind of abuse was an issue or if your father and you just don't get along. Talk about killing the mood. Then again...go the schoolmaster /naughty school girl direction instead of a daddy figure and try it out.



litleone8620 -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (6/13/2006 1:19:47 AM)

My dad and i don't have the greatest relationship either,but that doesn't stop me from  fantasising about Daddy/girl relationships.

My current Master and i have talked about Daddy/daughter, and He has even gone so far as to tell me i am allowed to call him Daddy.

If you're interested in a Daddy/girl relationship, don't let your childhood memories stop that from happening.



Dddylilgrl -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/20/2007 12:44:57 AM)

For me being a little girl and having a Daddy is part of who I am as a sub. I like having the protection and guidence that my Daddy provides me. Another big part of it is being discaplined. 



gypsyfirefly -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/20/2007 3:08:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream
<<snip>> i dredged this thread up cuz i want to know more about this dynamic. <<snip>>


I must admit I have been curious about the Daddy/lil' girl dynamic as well.  I find myself reading these threads first when I find them in the forums. [:)]  I am most curious about the nurturing, caring, guidance and control aspect of the Daddy/lil' girl relationship within the context of D/s. 
 
I must admit though, the idea of calling another man "daddy", when that is how I referred to my Father all during my childhood, does sound strange to my own ears.  I am sure that there are other terms/forms of "daddy" address that are  used - so maybe it is just a matter of finding one that fits and works for both involved. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/upfiles/smiley/smile.gif[/image]
 
(As a side note: I have a terrific relationship with my Father, he is a wonderful person and man, so I don't have any negative or unresolved "daddy issues". [;)])



adoracat -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/20/2007 8:29:37 AM)

~fast reply~

Sir is Daddy to me.  as he once put it "Daddy should be the most special relationship a little girl could ever have...he should love her, treasure her, protect her, guide her lovingly, and help her to become the best person she can be".

my own sperm donor (can you tell its not a good relationship?) wasnt there for us most of the time (military) and when he was, it was miserable.  he is domineering, coarse, abusive, and generally not pleasant to be around.  that said, mama trained me (subtly) to serve and be submissive to men, and that's my nature.

so having my "good Daddy" to offset the negative memories is helpful to me.  Sir is gentle and kind with me, at the same time he doesnt hesitate to correct bad behavior, or reward me with pain when that is what i need.

kitten, who isnt in good mindspace at the moment, but Sir knows *that* too.



MsOpal -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/20/2007 8:50:00 AM)

Good Morning,

Argent and I had Daddy/babygirl for a while and we both grew a lot and enjoyed it.  Sometimes we both miss it a lot.  But I cannot turn feelings on and off inside me and I did not "switch" very well.  Since I have discovered and released my D side I find I like that side a lot too and I get a lot of fulfillment from that side of me.  For Daddy/babygirl to work out for me I had to try and stuff that D part back into its now too small box and it was pretty frustrating for me.  So I have grown/changed.  However I can tell you what Daddy was about for me, and how it did help me grow even more.

1st I had a wonderful father, maybe not there all the time - typical 1950's Father Knows Best, worked long hours to provide for his family and stay at home mom.  But my father and I got along great, he taught me a lot and did spend weekend time with me.  I was not ever molested by a father-figure, never beaten etc.  To me, in a GOOD fathr-daughter relatinoship (growing up real father-daughter)  the daughter never wakes up in the morning and wonders "will Daddy take good care of me today?  Will Daddy love me today?  Will Daddy treat me good today?  Can I trust Daddy today?"  All those feelings are just there, they just "are".  That's the way I grew to feel about Argent.  I did have tons of insecurity issues based on other relatinships and when I finally overcame them the feeling of total trust, comfort, security, and love were so powerful that Daddy was the only way I could express how I felt.  it's a little funny because that comfort level is what has allowed me to explore my D side and now it is that D side which prevents my feeling like a "little girl" again.

Ours was never about "age-play" or punishments or working out past parental issues, it was all about total trust - that free-fall you must take before you can soar.




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/20/2007 11:06:51 AM)

i'm also a military child and my real father was never the father my girlfriends would complain about. oh yes Sgt Major loved all five of us (i'm the only daughter) but rarely showed it physically and emotionally because that's how he was raised during his strict religious childhood. i didn't have the nurturing, guidance, and love a father should bestow on his daughter ...instead i was raised as mini, independent adult since i was 5yrs old ...also we were never close like father-daughter, more like commanding officer-soldier,

then along came Daddy who saw me as a wild orphaned child with no sense of direction and guidance. this is the type of relationship i have always longed for in my life but never had with my real father.  i'm closer to Daddy and feel like a real daughter than i did growing up - i could never tell my father my problems and/or concerns because as i mentioned before, we didn't have any closeness.  with Daddy, i'm able to tell him things i have never told my parents ...i feel safe, loved, protected etc by Daddy ...plus He's a psychiatrist so i'm able to work through my childhood past and problems so i don't raise my own UMs the same way.



daddyscherry -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/20/2007 7:54:01 PM)

For me, it has been the first time i have ever actually had a real "Daddy" since mine flew the coop early on....so it has helped in some ways, but the fear of him leaving me is compounded simply because he is a "Daddy" figure/person.



salilus -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/20/2007 8:04:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: darq

I wouldn't enter any sort of relationship based on the idea that it might be a cathartic experience. If you need a cathartic experience, see a therapist ...

Now, with that in mind, I will say that I became more emotionally balanced and healthy when I found myself in relationships with good dominants, especially daddy doms. I don't believe that a dominant is a therapist, however, being with the right dominant can be theraputic.


Hmmmm, its just me but I have cathartic experiences all the time and they never had anything to do with therapy, I found therapy to be a huge waste of time when I was having panic attacks that were organically based and not at all related to my mom or dad (my therapist was freudian... sighs.. and he was wrong... and I fired him and got better with diet/exercise...but thats me and others may have a different experience).

I am reading a lot on this thread about age play and the Daddy Dom phenomena, I did not know the two were synomomous. I thought it could be a mindset more than age play. I call the dom I am seeing Daddy, and I enjoy it VERY much. I am also still getting used to this term instead of Sir or Lord or Master, but I am already liking it better because of the intimacy that it inspires.

As far as what it means for my past relationship with my father, well he passed away when I was 14, is there a connection to my enjoyment of calling someone else Daddy? Perhaps, and if that is the case I am ok with that....lol. There is nothing psycho in my mind of wanting to feel nurtured and protected and cared for. There is definitely nothing wrong with the man that desires to feel this for the lady in his life.... Daddy/daughter is to me a lovely expression of something deep.

I am going to respectfully disagree with those who think that relationships with others do not heal us. We need to be well enough emotionally to consensually submit, this is true, but there is nothing wrong with healing ourselves through our interactions with others. I am not just speaking of D/s, but of being a parent, a sibbling, a friend.... All these relationships have healing qualities of we learn the lessons that come with them. If my relationships were not cathartic then I WOULD need a therapist.... since they have been so healing I find I do not need one after all...



Thank you for saying this... I never know how to.

I went through about ten therapists in my life and none of them helped me as much as the relationship I am currently in. No one has helped me grow and heal as much has my owner has.



salilus -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/20/2007 8:11:22 PM)

I don't really have any issues with my father, quite frankly.

I know I have issues with my childhood in general. I felt like I never had much of one.
And yes, I feel like someone of those issues are going away as the relationship between my owner and myself unfolds and advances. I'm continuously shocked at how much better I function as an adult (function meaning without angst and guilty and fear and stress and worries etc) the deeper I get into being my Daddy's little girl.



heartcream -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/21/2007 4:21:45 AM)

>> ...plus He's a psychiatrist so i'm able to work through my childhood past and problems so i don't raise my own UMs the same way.

sambamanslilgirl, this sounds and feels like a very special relationship. btw what are UM's?

>>I'm continuously shocked at how much better I function as an adult (function meaning without angst and guilty and fear and stress and worries etc) the deeper I get into being my Daddy's little girl.

hmmm, that is amazing, salilus. profound.

then there is another aspect wif daddyscherry,

>>it has helped in some ways, but the fear of him leaving me is compounded simply because he is a "Daddy" figure/person.





sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/21/2007 6:20:21 AM)

UMs are unmentionables (little minor adults under the age of 18) ...it's a TOS violation to talk about them directly because a)this is an adult web site and b)too many predators surfing the web

edited to add:

yes it's a very special relationship because Daddy doesn't talk to me like a psychiatrist (not use to speaking to a doctor about my problems) yet He talks to me like a "real" father in a calm soothing voice.  talking to my real dad, it was more like "i do all the talking and you listen to agree to whatever i say".



sirsprincess -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/21/2007 6:46:48 AM)

I'm a newbie here so please be kind and patient as I'm really nervous.  I'm involved with an online Dom.  We have met in person and hopefully soon will be able to play in person too.  One of our relationships is that of Daddy/little girl.  My father passed away many years ago and he was a sweet man, but he was not the type to take care of me, let me sit on his lap or just let me be his little girl.  Having this type of relationship with my Dom from time to time is wonderful. It fulfills a need in me that I didn't know was there. When we are Daddy/little girl, there is no sexuality, he takes care of me, makes sure I'm eating right and getting to bed on time.  I also have to ask politely to go potty, Daddy makes sure I always ask as he doesn't want me to have an accident.  Sometimes in the context of our conversation, little girl's hands will wander down to her private place and Daddy always makes them come back up, as little girl doesn't understand all about her body yet. 





heartcream -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/21/2007 2:42:28 PM)

thank you sambamanslilgirl. i am moved by your words. i relax knowing how tender and soothing he treats you. hahaha that has got to be healing huh, salilus? -to note the Daddy/girl thing is so helpful that my stress level are also lessened from the words i read here from you all? *giggles* pretty cool.



Dddylilgrl -> RE: Daddy/girl dynamics vs childhood experiences (7/22/2007 6:48:01 PM)

Interesting point.



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