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subspace for Dom's? - 5/18/2006 12:56:36 PM

valeca

Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
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Master and I recently had a stimulating conversation about whether or not a Dominant has an equivalent to subspace or not. He thought about it for a moment, then answered He didn't think He experienced anything quite like what I (His slave) do.

The more we discussed it, the further into the possible reasoning we got. I suggested that perhaps it was a control thing. He retains that control over Himself, the situation and me, whereas I can completely release both mentally and physically, knowing there is someone there to 'take care of things'.

He suggested that while He's experiencing the mental stimulations, the physical stimuli are significantly less than what I'm receiving--particularly if we're enjoying some form of S/m--in effect, I'm getting a double-whammy of everything, making it easier for me to slip over the 'edge'.

EG: Flogging.

He's doing the flogging and enjoying its affects on both He and I. (Pleasing to Him, but physically He's experiencing fewer sensations.)

I'm experiencing the sensation/pain of leather on skin, combined with all it mentally entails.

Recognising that we're only one couple, and therefore our experiences/sensations are unique to us, He suggested this as a topic for CM.

So, do you, as a Dominant, have an equivalent to subspace? Why or why not?

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

Post #: 1

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/18/2006 1:15:10 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Pretty much anything that's been said about subspace, applies to domspace or top space.

So, there's no real universal experience, there's many different types, people go into it for various reasons and through various ways and have various levels of conscious control when it occurs.

I've been with tops who became hyper focused and sensitive and been with doms who might as well have been on acid.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_199603/mpage_1/key_topspace/tm.htm#199646
A state of ?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 2

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/18/2006 1:25:24 PM

ShivaTS

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Joined: 2/4/2006
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When we get playing, he really gets into it. Because he knows my body and doesnt have to worry about being too hard, he can let go and have fun. He also loves that I giggle and laugh the harder he does it. He has told me he likes to play with someone that has fun. When I look into his eyes after, I can see its glazed over. He cant had the smile he has and is in just as rough shape as me at the end of the session.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/18/2006 4:22:02 PM

CanadianGuy

Posts: 219
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When I first met my girl, last summer, I immediately felt something I had never felt. We'd been together online 3 years, but never in person. Suddenly I was in complete control of not just myself, but suddenly her, the surrounding area, and the situations taking place. I was hyperaware of her and my needs, what people nearby were doing and possibly thinking. Controlling her extended not just to her but to the bed, the shower, the hotel room (or where ever we were). We had 3 nights together. I've never felt anything like it. When we parted, that was gone. She apparently screamed and cried all the way back home, panicking, totally out of control and hating it. I was deeply sad to be away from her. Not screaming and panicking at all, because I was still in control of myself. I simply missed the feeling of my sphere of control being so much larger than it had been. I can't wait to be with her again.

(in reply to ShivaTS)

Post #: 4

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/19/2006 5:09:02 PM

Archer

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Joined: 3/11/2005
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I do get what I call Dom headspace during scenes intense focus etc being the hallmarks of it, as it goes on it gets deeper and at some point is can get dangerous. There is sometimes a point were you begin to feel Godlike, unable to make a mistake, aware of everything, controlling a larger space than you can maintain for very long. So there are some things a Dom may want to watch himself for.
When you get to the point where you think "I can do no wrong" it's time to stop the scene shortly because that's when mistakes happen.

When I finish a good scene and have gotten some serious Dom headspace, I tend to feel like I own anything and everything in sight, which makes for a tough drop when you get back to reality and you don't. Also means exersizing self control when that pretty little thing you don't really own but in your current headspace you feel like you do walks by. LOL

People actually tend to be offended when you reach out grab them by the hair and claim them and they have no clue who you are. *grin*

We get our own type of headspace but it is different than most of the subspace I hear people talk about.

In Leather

Archer

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 5

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/19/2006 7:41:57 PM

LadyHugs

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear valeca, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In doing a scene, I do get into the scene and feed off the energy of the slave/submissive. However, for me I am focused on the scene and managing the trip for the slave/submissive to get into their state of flying and or subspace, I do not fly per se.

In feeding off the energy of the slave/submissive, my world narrows and the world, noise and such disappear outside my whip zone per se. I am aware but I am paying full time and attention to my slave before me. Once the slave is down from their flying/subspace and gently go through the re-entry, with hot and cold their body feels, I do after care.

I really don't feel a "Top space" or "flying" until I am home and safe myself, relax and rewind the whole scene and replay it. Then I can enjoy it and get a 'high' from it all. It can last days or weeks depending on the scene and how engaged with the slave energy and exchanges.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 6

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/19/2006 8:42:39 PM

KnightofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: valeca

So, do you, as a Dominant, have an equivalent to subspace? Why or why not?

No.

I consider subspace to be a physical intoxication brought on the natural body chemicals that are released due to the play and one's mindset. With an intoxication, one becomes inhibited in their mental and physical capacities.

In my play, I become more focused in both my mental and physical capacities. It's not that I believe I am better than I am, for I don't entertain ideas of grandure or prefection. I am just more aware of my thoughts and my phyiscal responses. The more intense the play, the more intensely focus and increased concentration I will have.

Within the play, a Top must keep themself grounded and in control of their mental thoughts and focused on their goal. If they start to see themself as being in total control they are serious risk of actually being out of control of themselves. One can't be in total control..EVER. we can however be in control of every choice we are going to make and action we are going to take.

I Don'ts see "Control" as end or goal ... But see it as Circular Process! I do not seek to have "Control". I seek to be "Controlling". In being controlling I enter a process. I will untilized various actions to acheive and maintain my desired consequences. To be controlling I must know always what my desired consequence is. Take action to achieve the desired consequence. Assess and compare the results of my actions to the desired consequences. Adjust as required and take new actions to achieve and/or maintain my desried consequences. This circular process drives my focus and concentration with the desired consequences being in the center of it all. I don't adjust my desired consequences. I focus on the consequences! Make choices and varied actions to achieve these desired consequences. If I was intoxicated in the manner that bottoms are affected. I wouldn't be able to achieve the desired consequences.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 5/19/2006 8:43:32 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 7

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/21/2006 8:50:33 AM

xxmstrchasxx

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Joined: 5/9/2006
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I don't think I have ever been into a Dom space equal to a sub space.

When my sub and I first got together, all of a sudden there were tears running down her face and I was upset with myself for not realizing her limits.

Come to find out, it was a subspace thing and she wasn't hurt at all but just somewhere she had never been before and she loved it.

< Message edited by xxmstrchasxx -- 5/21/2006 8:52:01 AM >

_____________________________

XxMasterChasxX

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 8

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/21/2006 9:14:39 AM

ownedgirlie

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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KoM I found your post quite interesting, and actually quite similar to my Master's views. I have asked my Master before about "Domspace" and if he ever experienced it, and he said no as well. It is not that he doesn't get a rush or joy or very pleased out of what he is doing with me, but I would imagine similarly to you, he is acutely focused on what he is doing and what my response is, so he can tweak and adjust as necessary.

If I were to ever think he might end up out there in la la land with me, I would not feel so free to let go and fly....

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 9

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/21/2006 9:41:19 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
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I for one can very much enter a topspace and I was SAILING last night. I did one of the most intense scenes of my life with a very very glorious woman and despite being at a party after a large collaring ceremony, I wasn't aware of anything but the beast within me and my prey, NOTHING else existed, not the room, not the time, not the sling, nothing.

One of the great things about really intense mental scenes is that I bet anyone who watched was bored to tears, unless they could hear the low gutteral growls emanating deep from within me or could see the terror on the face of my prey.

Yeah, I for one, can on those most beautiful of moments, soar away deep into topspace.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 10

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/21/2006 9:45:59 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: valeca

So, do you, as a Dominant, have an equivalent to subspace? Why or why not?

Yes I do believe that I have reached a Domspace(if you will).

I can get so caught up in the moment.
Seeing slave bishop wince gives Me butterflys in My tummy...
I am feeling like I'm connecting to her each time the whip hits her,after awhile its
intoxicating,My hand the whip the sound the winch and then the sounds she makes
the pleasure she feels I feel,the pain she feels I feel...W/we are one with whip.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 11

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/21/2006 10:15:03 AM

LordOctavian362

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline

I think that what your Master experiences is true for a lot of Masters. There is a kind of zone that some of us slip into and it's a lot like playing music by ear, you simply know where the next note falls instinctly. This is as close as many of us come to something like subspace because a Dominant can't relate to the experience of being submissive, even though many of us, me included, are driven to ecstacy by having someone submit or feel intense pleasure at our hands, but even this has a limit because a Master has to orchestrate the scene and stay on top of things.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/21/2006 11:38:10 AM

ArtfulTrainer

Posts: 24
Joined: 12/9/2005
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Sometimes, when I am in the midst of a good scene I experience a sense of unreality as if I am an observer outside of my body. The world seems more vivid, time seems to slow down and I feel truly alive. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does it's one of most awesome feelings I've ever experienced. When it happens it is only for a few minutes, but while it is happening I feel euphoric. It is what keeps me coming back to play again and again.
I don't know if this approximates subspace. I have switched in the past and never reached anything close to what I've read about subspace, so I have no frame of reference.
-AT

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 13

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/21/2006 12:06:43 PM

MsVoyeringmama

Posts: 33
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: valeca

Master and I recently had a stimulating conversation about whether or not a Dominant has an equivalent to subspace or not. He thought about it for a moment, then answered He didn't think He experienced anything quite like what I (His slave) do.

So, do you, as a Dominant, have an equivalent to subspace? Why or why not?

i just answered this in " RE: cannot figure out a Dominant" << all of that, is me as well, being the dominant, but for me the cuddle-hug- offer after care---- well please realize that the same amount or more of exuberance, that it takes to get you to your subspace (I'm sweating up a storm by then, is work for us dominants as well ) -so for ME, I like that as my aftercare/the hold me hugs, for a min or 2.. - then I'll leave you to yours/After care, make sure your ok, get a drink/cover you and let you unwind, drifting on the waves.

so I would say yes- I do go into a diff space.

_____________________________

Smile at a stranger,it might make their day, remember the smile you see, could be meant for you. :)
-- And A stranger isn’t a stranger, it’s only a good friend you haven’t met yet!”

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 14

RE: subspace for Dom's? - 5/21/2006 12:49:36 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

It is not that he doesn't get a rush or joy or very pleased out of what he is doing with me, but I would imagine similarly to you, he is acutely focused on what he is doing and what my response is, so he can tweak and adjust as necessary.

If I were to ever think he might end up out there in la la land with me, I would not feel so free to let go and fly....

It's one thing to reach a Zone of intense concentration and focus. It's another thing to enter into a space of intoxication. ... I prefer to reach the Zone... instead of a space! Seems safer that way.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 15

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