Reality Hurdles

Reality Hurdles (Full Version)

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Evanesce -> Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 12:57:42 PM)
We've heard it said a million times that reality can and does interfere with the dynamics of a D/s or M/s relationship. In terms of your M/s or D/s relationship, what is the biggest "reality" hurdle you've had to face, and how did you overcome it and still keep your Ms/Ds dynamic intact?

VvShadowspawnvV -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 1:01:04 PM)
Parenthood... and so the household has to seem like a traditional 1950's style one, rather than the den of iniquity, complete with dungeon and torture chamber, that i sometimes envision. =/ becca

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 1:06:29 PM)
Simple lack of time/energy to be together. Relationships are built on shared experiences and if you're too tired/distracted/busy to make that happen, the relationship as a whole just limps along. Oh and we solve that by kicking eachother in the ass when we need to take breaks and having regular slots for time together.

LokisBrat -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 2:14:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VvShadowspawnvV Parenthood... and so the household has to seem like a traditional 1950's style one, rather than the den of iniquity, complete with dungeon and torture chamber, that i sometimes envision. =/ becca Same here. It's a daily struggle to balance our D/s relationship with effective parenting that doesn't reveal more than it should. I look forward to the day when our home is again the two of us with mixed emotions, as any parent does I'm sure. brat

SirCumsSlut -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 2:29:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evanesce We've heard it said a million times that reality can and does interfere with the dynamics of a D/s or M/s relationship. In terms of your M/s or D/s relationship, what is the biggest "reality" hurdle you've had to face, and how did you overcome it and still keep your Ms/Ds dynamic intact? Have to agree with VvShadowspawnvV, raising kids (young kids in our case) is the biggest reality in our home. Now I do address Sir as Sir infront of our girls. Our girls know that their daddy and I discuss everything (and that my opinion is valued by their father) in regards to our family and they know that daddy's descision is final and he would NEVER EVER do anything to put us in jeopardy. IMHO, our girls feel that our family dynamic is no different from any other "vanilla" (my words) family dynamic. Granted as they get older and get into social situations with friends, they will begin to question Sir and I as to how we live. And Sir and I are teaching our girls that when they are of age, they can make their own choices and be proud of those choices, just as we are proud of ours'. I am afraid I am rambling, so I will stop now........ Peace

ScooterTrash -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 5:55:58 PM)
Going to work is a major distraction, but it's kind of like the water that keeps the boat afloat. I don't require anyone else to work, so it's somewhat of a necessary evil. As much as I can envision it being great being home all the time, it would however cheat me out of those warm welcomes when I get home in the evening. Although I have to admit, I would be willing to take that chance if I had the winning lottery numbers..lol.

subrob1967 -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 6:28:16 PM)
Conflicting schedules.

Littlepita -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 7:44:36 PM)
Biggest hurdle is my teenage daughter who lives with me and my Dom. She is adjusting to a new home, school and new man in our lives. She is 14 which seems to come with it's own huge dramas on a daily basis. Now that it's summer vacation our time will be greatly limited. These are the challenges of life along with me going back to school. We will manage though. [:)]

Dustyn -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 8:33:58 PM)
My life is constantly evolving, with new problems croppig up all the time. For a while, I was taking care of my disabled grandfather until he died. That was a major problem. Same thing with my grandmother. I think those were the two biggest hurdles so far. - Dustyn

littlesarbonn -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 8:41:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evanesce We've heard it said a million times that reality can and does interfere with the dynamics of a D/s or M/s relationship. In terms of your M/s or D/s relationship, what is the biggest "reality" hurdle you've had to face, and how did you overcome it and still keep your Ms/Ds dynamic intact? I think I solved this problem for myself by the mere fact that I don't live in reality. I live in a much happier place with talking ducks, bunnies that hop around carelessly and big puffy marshmellows that bounce across the grass, waving at me as I get into my car to go to work every morning. That, and the medication the nurses give me every night before they strap me into bed, keeps me doing quite well.

FirmhandKY -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 8:58:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Littlepita Biggest hurdle is my teenage daughter who lives with me and my Dom. She is adjusting to a new home, school and new man in our lives. She is 14 which seems to come with it's own huge dramas on a daily basis. Now that it's summer vacation our time will be greatly limited. These are the challenges of life along with me going back to school. We will manage though. [:)] Shocked, I am. Littlepita, I've been reading your posts for weeks and months, and for some reason I got the impression that you were 18/19/20 years old. When I read you had a 14 year old daughter, it was one of those WTF moments. I guess I had just never went to your profile. I have to admit, I also think kids are the biggest hurdle, and the biggest joy. FHky

MstrssPassion -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 9:10:10 PM)
strange..... I've never considered reality to be a hurdle in anything I do. In fact reality has everything to do with our dynamics & "keeping it real" is the best piece of advice I could ever offer anyone. It is those darn unrealistic expectations I see everyone getting so frustrated about.

Sensualips -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 9:12:08 PM)
The exact same hurdles I faced with my vanilla marriage.

becca333 -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/18/2006 11:19:59 PM)
Parents dropping in for an unexpected visit.

twicehappy -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/19/2006 6:07:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash Going to work is a major distraction, but it's kind of like the water that keeps the boat afloat. I don't require anyone else to work, so it's somewhat of a necessary evil. As much as I can envision it being great being home all the time, it would however cheat me out of those warm welcomes when I get home in the evening. Master if only you could train your secretary to bring you coffee naked on her knees it would not be so bad for you at work. But we would still rather have you at home.

Hawksgirldove -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/19/2006 6:30:20 AM)
Parent hood, yes i would agre with that one. Many of our rituals have lsipped by the way side when my teenage daughter moved in with us. Work, and restoring an old house. When we could be using the time to play- we end up working. This week it will be devoted to roofing... not my idea of fun. But it has to be done. Never enough hours in a day to do all that we need to do, let alone what we want to do. Hell, by the time we get the list of things that HAVE to be done, then head off to bed, to do the thing we enjoy doing..its too late, and we are exhausted!

Rayne58 -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/19/2006 6:37:23 AM)
Master's illness - we have to take things on a day by day basis. I serve by taking care of Him but sometimes I have to be in charge when He's not feeling the best, by telling Him He has to eat or he'll go hypo [&o] Sometimes He just doesn't feel well enough to play but little things like a hair pull or nipple pinch keep me focussed [:D] We have also recently had my 18 yo daughter staying for a month's holiday, which did curtail our activities to an extent [:)]

thetammyjo -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/19/2006 6:43:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evanesce We've heard it said a million times that reality can and does interfere with the dynamics of a D/s or M/s relationship. In terms of your M/s or D/s relationship, what is the biggest "reality" hurdle you've had to face, and how did you overcome it and still keep your Ms/Ds dynamic intact? Probably our biggest hurdle is my surviving my childhood abuse. I wish it didn't but it still greatly effects how I trust people, what I expect from people and how I treat people. Being my husband or slave or submissive is no joy ride. It can be a amazing, fulfilling, frustrating, tiring, intense, never dull, and yet very stable. It is not for the weak or the passive. Fox and I maintain it via rituals and rules that we live every day. We set things up knowing I have this past and knowing it was going to be work. Frankly he's a survivor too and it is also another big hurdle for us. After a few months now of dealing more intensely with his past, I'd decided on a new limit for when I look to expand my household again: no abuse suvivors or victims period. Our stuff is enough to deal with thank you very much.

NINASHARP -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/19/2006 7:02:21 AM)
My partner's jealousy can sometimes be a hurdle. Also work, illness and kids. NINA

NINASHARP -> RE: Reality Hurdles (5/19/2006 7:11:21 AM)
TammyJo, I always enjoy reading the posts about you and Your Fox. I am sorry that you both have had to encounter child abuse. The thought that anyone would hurt an innocent and precious child, makes my skin curl and puts me into true sadist mode. Though this type of robbed innocence is difficult to overcome, I want to personally thank you for being thoughtful enough to share it. You are helping others who have had similiar experiences, and I admire you for your honesty. Nina

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