AAkasha -> RE: Tribute (7/27/2011 2:50:43 PM)
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I kind of like paying for things. It makes me feel in control. I especially like it if the man has less money than I do, it feeds my fantasy/fetish of ownership. But I have to be attracted to someone. I sent a guy I am "courting" a little gift from my favorite toy store recently, and then sent him a gift card later. I get a satisfaction from this that goes beyond "what's in it for me." I think that's where the whole tribute thing goes astray. If a person is in a position of "giving tribute" whether they are femdom or sub or whatever, they can't do it with the intent of getting something in return, unless that has been negotiated up front. If a person is sending a tribute unwillingly, reluctantly or with reservations, DON'T SEND IT. If someone is receiving pleasure from the act of giving, go for it. If someone is sending "tribute" in an effort to receive an exchange of goods/services, then spell it out and agree on it - ahead of time. If I got bent out of shape every time I sent a man a sexy, degrading toy or piece of bondage gear or a gift designed to make them feel slightly objectified, because sometimes these men DO drop off the planet, I'd be virtually unhappy all the time. My wet panties, my erotic rush, my THRILL moment comes from the act of sending the gift and what that makes me feel as a dominant woman in control - everything else is gravy. It's a bummer if a guy vanishes on me, but it's not going to stop me from doing it. Akasha
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