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Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 8:54:21 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Master and i have been together over 5 years and we have scened/played almost every day of those 5 years.  About the only time we did not was that month after my surgery and i was not allowed sexual intercourse.  Now that is not our relationship that is one part of our whole Ds relationship.  It is a nice perk and something we both enjoy.

I have had people stayng with me (family) who does not know about Master and i because i know they would not be able to deal with it.  So with other people here we are not going to play/scene.  We have to be mostly vanilla except for subtle things like geting his drink before mine and stuff like that.  That being said without being able to play i get very sexually frustrated.

When i am sexually frustrated i find my self more tensed up and not always being the good girl that i ususally am.  Master understands but he is not gonna put up with me being a smart as and snippy.  He says you are always my good girl but you are not acting like her.

So with all tha background  if you are sexually fruurstrated do you find yourself acting up a little or is it no big deal for you?

Matt's littleone
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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 9:03:30 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Be creative. You can't have full on sessions, then do something different.

Here's an example: Have him get comfortable on a chair while you sit on the floor in front of him and masturbate according to his instructions. You're not allowed to cum until you get him turned on enough that he jerks off on your face.

Then you go to bed without washing your face.

Easy as pie if you use your imagination. Good luck.


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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 9:50:15 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		We are adults.  As adults we need to learn to deal with situations that are not of our own choosing.  Being horny does not give anyone the right to bad behavior.

quote:

So with all tha background  if you are sexually fruurstrated do you find yourself acting up a little or is it no big deal for you?


It IS a big deal, however, I don't pout and act like a child since I am not a child.  I dealt with it.  You seem to be needing an excuse to act up and you are using your sexual frustration to do so. 



< Message edited by peppermint -- 7/28/2011 9:55:56 AM >

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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 10:13:24 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		to me, that's not really any different from something like PMS. when i have PMS i realize that it's not an excuse to be a bitch to people, i'm still responsible for my behavior, even when the PMS is particularly bad. =p
i have a stupidly high sex drive so i feel frustrated a lot. =p but again, it's not an excuse to be bitchy. after a few days, i stop thinking about it, and it doesn't seem so important.
if i was acting out because of sexual frustration, i'd honestly be pretty disappointed with myself.


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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 10:33:29 AM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
f you are sexually fruurstrated do you find yourself acting up a little or is it no big deal for you?

Of course if I'm sexually frustrated it's going to feel like a big deal to me, depending on how frustrated i am. BUT acting out because I can't have what I want now right now is being a spoiled little brat and punishment-worthy, so I would not do it. It's better to talk things through with him and work on solutions that are acceptable to all. No matter what we call ourselves, we are still all adults here.

~Hisprettybaby~

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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 12:19:28 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		It's not a big problem for me as I never have a problem sloping off and having a wank and that can carry me for a fair while as I have a very wild, intimate sex-life with myself.

To be frank, if we don't get some one on one intimacy over an extended period, ie. my Mum staying, we BOTH get a bit fed up.

I can get a bit grouchy for other reasons, though. Sometimes it's understandable and sometimes less so.

I'm not sure what you mean by *acting-up a little* though, as that could mean anything.

agirl




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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 12:21:16 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		Don't they go out alone ever? Quickies can be fun and cathartic. What about running out to the shop together or laundry or or or ... Get fast and creative would be my advice.
Yes i get ditherish when all of a sudden i am not getting any and he gets on edge too so we find the time and it becomes like a game for us.

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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 12:57:32 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Ummmm...people have sex all of the time with others in the house.
Otherwise there would never be more than one child.
It can be just as much fun trying to be quiet as it is in making as much noise as you can.


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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 1:30:23 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Ummmm...people have sex all of the time with others in the house.
Otherwise there would never be more than one child.
It can be just as much fun trying to be quiet as it is in making as much noise as you can.



This too!

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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 1:58:06 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I guess you could find something else to do with your time....go shopping, play a game, read a book, cook, clean, find a new hobby, masturbate....I dunno. That's about the only advice I have.



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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 2:05:54 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone35
So with all tha background  if you are sexually fruurstrated do you find yourself acting up a little or is it no big deal for you?

Neither Carol or myself care enough about sex to get "sexually frustrated". But both of us certainly do get irritated, frustrated, and other things from life in general and neither of us is on our best behavior during those times.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 2:15:31 PM   
littlekitten1


Posts: 160
Status: offline 		I think it's unfair to call her a spoiled brat just because she behaves a certain way to frustration...

We're all different and we all behave in different ways. I think people can sometimes forget this and project their own philosophies on others.
If her being a bit more smart assy doesn't really emotionally hurt her Dom, then I can see what's so horrible about it.

Of course it's both their jobs to find a solution about this.. I just find it sort of... dunno.. Bad... That so many people jump on others so quickly at the slightest expression of 'brattiness'... For some couple it's not a big deal. For some it is. For some subs it may be hard not to be 'bratty' because it lies in their personality.

Anyway dunno if I really get sexually frustrated, as sex is not important to me. But I have experienced being .... Submissively frustrated? :p
Uh well... if my submissive side doesn't get nurtured enough, it kicks and screams at me and makes me very depressed and nervous... and empty-feeling.

(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 2:39:37 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Don't you have a lock on the bedroom door? Use it. Say good night, turn on the stereo or tv in your room and have fun. Some toys are noisy. Don't use them. Some are quiet, use them instead.

A wooden spoon stings like a bitch but doesn't make much noise moving through the air. His fingernails pinching won't make any sound. If you have a gag in, and the music on, then the sounds you will make won't be identifiable.

Be creative and you'll find ways to play and help you stay on an even keel.

I don't care if it's your mother sleeping on the couch, she already knows you're sexually active and as long as you don't do it in front of her, she won't care.


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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 3:02:53 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

We're all different and we all behave in different ways. I think people can sometimes forget this and project their own philosophies on others.


The problem is when an adult uses a completely normal situation that nearly every adult faces for her own brattiness.  Being horny is not the ticket to acting like a brat, unless that person already wants to act like a brat and uses being horny as an excuse. 

Yes, we all deal with frustrations in our own ways.  Yes, the OP needs to figure out her own adult way of dealing.  However, trying to get the forum to agree that she has the right to be bratty due to her being horny is not going to work. 

< Message edited by peppermint -- 7/28/2011 3:05:34 PM >

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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 3:07:15 PM   
littlekitten1


Posts: 160
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

However, trying to get the forum to agree that she has the right to be bratty due to her being horny is not going to work. 



But I really don't think that's what she was trying to do. she merely asked how everyone else deals with it.
I think it's ok to criticize how someone else behaves if it's negative, but I don't think name calling is a good idea. Mainly because if you are acting hostile towards someone, they most likely wont listen. And if you were just trying to act hostile towards them merely for the sake of being hostile, then that in itself is pretty bad behavios imo ._.

Anyway I don't mean to offend or anything, I just think people could try and be less dunno... mean x_x Maybe I'm just a dreamer though :p

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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 3:12:59 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		I really didn't see anyone being mean really.

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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 3:15:41 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlekitten1
Anyway I don't mean to offend or anything, I just think people could try and be less dunno... mean x_x Maybe I'm just a dreamer though :p

Give it up. I tried too. This is the internet where people get to show their true inner selves with impunity. Sadly, some of those "inner selves' are not exactly pretty.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to littlekitten1)
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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 3:18:13 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Anytime you do something on a daily basis, for many years and stop abruptly, I would think there would be an effect. People can get cranky or miss that something a great deal and even feel unbalanced and not themselves. When I went from having sex very often to being celebrate until I found the right one, I had some moments that weren't my finest. When I tried to stop smoking with no assistance... I really had some moments that weren't my finest.

I wouldn't automatically call it being a brat or acting out because you lost your balance.

I take into consideration that littleone35 has been here a long time, has proven herself to be in love and devoted to her master. I can't see her any other way other than, someone that is missing something very huge in her life. If this were happening with my submissive and sex wasn't going to be enough to balance 'us'... we might take a drive, but I sure would understand the change had an effect and would love him all the more because what we did and shared, mattered to him that much. It would be a time for support rather than punishment.


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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 3:20:44 PM   
littlekitten1


Posts: 160
Status: offline 		Well I suppose you're right... I don't think so either x_x I just think calling her a Child WAS a bit... dunno :p mean.

Maybe Im looking too much into things x_x 

Anyway Im sorry, I don't mean to put the topic astray. Dont mind me :)

/emoticon overload

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RE: Sexual Frustration - 7/28/2011 3:22:15 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

I really didn't see anyone being mean really.


<puzzled>

Me either. Some people are very sensitive though.

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