Training as a desired scene / fetish

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Training as a desired scene / fetish - 7/29/2011 12:58:21 AM

IsaNova

Posts: 23
Joined: 9/28/2010
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Greetings,

I am wondering a bit, how best can I approach someone or put on profiles a desire for "training". Personally I don't think of training someone to be a submissive is practical, given that every Dominant has their own tastes and personality... but training more as a scene fetish, including the use of disciplinary means and such, if that makes sense.

I'm not wanting to just be a brat and get punished / put in my place for it... but rather to submit to another's instruction. I have a way of wanting to do things my own way/way I see fit, and I feel I need to learn a bit of humility there too. Training, whether it is how best to scrub the floors, to fix Their cup of coffee, or to kneel properly are things I hope can be erotic in a sense. It's not a full-on fantasy like the "Training of O" series (though maybe in a scening sense sometime) and I want to be clear that I see any relationship outside of such strictures. I just desire that sense of, pride perhaps, in knowing one has learned to do a good job that is pleasing to their Sir/Ma'am. I ask here because, for me, a male Dominant is generally one I want to be more forceful and direct, pull-your-hair kinda way if that makes sense, but I welcome any thoughts from either side/gender on the subject.

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RE: Training as a desired scene / fetish - 7/29/2011 4:18:47 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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I don't see a need to specifically state a need for training. You don't train a sub to be submissive; that'd be a quality I'd expect any sub to already have (just as being female, for example), otherwise there can be no D/s relationship.

And if you are entering into a D/s relationship, inevitably there will be "training" involved - thus negating the need to specifically state that obvious fact. What I don't believe in in is generic training - the belief that Dom/mes can train a sub to some mythical level or standard in readiness to serve a r/l Dominant that may come into the sub's life.

We are all unique individuals. How my girl dresses, wears her hair, behaves, speaks, makes my cuppa etc (everyday stuff) is all subject to training. She needs to know how I like such things done and only I can show/teach/train her. But yeah, the best training stuff comes within the formal D/s aspects of training. Just having her undress (or dress) involves a specific order for clothing items to be removed or replaced. When I call her to me she knows (through training) to always stand close enough so that I can comfortably reach the back of her head but not so close that she's invading my space. She knows to stand with her feet comfortably balanced and hands behind her back. She knows not to slouch. If my tone is disciplinary, she knows to stand bolt upright with feet hard together.

She knows to always hold my gaze when I speak or require her to. She knows all answers must end with "Sir" just as all her questions must begin with it. She knows that if I tell her to face right, it's to her right, not mine. She knows if I tell her to bend over, her upper torso is to be parallel with the floor, or as close as she can comfortably manage. She knows it'll sting if she doesn't execute as she was trained. And it just goes on and on.... and on.... I *lurv* training myself. And yeah, for the geek wannabe doms, she knows how I like my cock sucked, too....

So what I also don't get is that some dom/mes (and subs) regard training as a chore that's best dispensed with asap. What a freakin' waste of enjoyment and opportunity....

Focus.

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Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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RE: Training as a desired scene / fetish - 7/29/2011 5:37:59 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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maybe you could write that you're looking for a domestic service relationship from a taskmaster-type or micromanager? service relationships generally serve that one purpose, and i imagine you could talk about adding other things like kneeling and posture; you'll need to work out the boundaries anyway (sex, no sex, etc.). i guess you're talking about a reform school type of scenario?

personally, i have no problem with "training relationships," or experiential learning. i made a thread once about getting into training relationships and got the usual "no one can/should train you but your Dom" responses, but it's not about trying to learn a "one true way" to being submissive and hoping to apply that across the board in the future -- no, it's just experiencing learning to do things the way someone else wants to do them, period. my last relationship was with a guy who wasn't hugely into rules and specifics, so i wonder how a scenario with more rules and specifics would go. if everyone involved was on board with what the relationship was, i really don't see anything wrong with it.
true, you can be motivated to do things differently by someone you have a strong connection to, but i don't think there would automatically be a lack of connection between you and someone you were "training" under. you seek out someone you have chemistry with like you do anywhere else.

but anyway, service relationships usually imply a little bit of distance between you and the person you're doing domestic duties for, so that might get you closer to what you're looking for.

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"Obey your Master." Metallica

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