freebounds
Posts: 39
Joined: 7/18/2011 Status: offline
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I'm new, too. I began thinking I must be a switch, but as I explored that through chats and phone calls, it became clear that I don't have the same feelings about being a Domme as I do as his sub. I would only be letting a male sub, top from the bottom. I would be in service to him. That's not switching. So, clarification number one. I am a not a switch. But, am I a sub or a slave? Sub, I thought, so I again, explored through conversations with others. BTW, this community is the best of what people can be in terms of making newbies feel welcome, and in their generosity of their time and focus to help new people. They've all been there and they know this is the place where most of us can get advice safely. Okay, so then I changed my profile from switch to sub and it was like ... crazy.... many descend upon the newbie subs. One stood out. So, he called himself a Dom and I called myself a sub, but the more I read, the more I realized, he's a Master and wants a slave. So, we talked about that and he said he understood I was new, but it was my choice... what did I want? Him as my Master or no him at all. So, I am now a slave, his slave. But, we don't use the labels... it's just us, as he designs us. Why did I agree to submit? There is a deep and spiritual connection between this man and I. It's as if we both waited our whole lives for each other. This kind of feeling can never be one-sided. At the heart of it all, this may be the most romantic community of people in existence. The honesty, the acceptance and the trust... is required and shared. That's a solid base for any love. I want that love as he does. We share a passion for the intensity and for the depth. We have a deep need to give another everything, only from a mirror image - he the Dominant, and me the submissive. I am an ultra feminist (and will always remain so), and as such, I am free to make choices which are best for me. Sexually, I am pure submissive. It's all about being taken, claimed, protected, led, taught... under his wing stuff, and yes, punishment, too. I am his to control as he sees fit. I trust him. For him, this is all about knowing another completely, and doing whatever they think is best for the other. It's about security. It's about pride and power and a sense of manhood. I've always known this was me, but had not yet met a man who knew what to do with the extent to which I needed to submit - until now. My third day on collar, he found me. Now, I had spent 6 years preparing for him. I think it's a case of "when the student is ready the teacher will come." I also have 4 true friends, who know me absolutely and vice-versa. Steve and I met as infants. Maria in 8th grade. Cindy in 10th grade. Jay in 12th grade. These relationships take time, nurturing and commitment. We have never stopped learning more about each other. It may sound cliche' but any relationship worth having is worth putting your "all" into. A part of "all" is to know that you have your own process, your own knowing and it will be as wonderful as you decide it will be. Decide, not wish or want... decide. I wish you well on your journey. Oh... full disclosure... my Dom can make me cum - over the phone, no hands allowed, just his voice. Our first phone call - 6 times (double my previous experience ever), the next day, 8 times. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that this is another reason I submit.  free
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