Tips for being a Good Sub? (Full Version)

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SubbyRaptor -> Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 5:17:28 PM)

Im new to the BDSM scene and searching for a dom to claim me.

I know patience is a virtue, but you also need some kind of bait. What are some good pointers that I need to practice or show to prove I can be loyal to someone?



IrishMist -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 5:23:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbyRaptor

Im new to the BDSM scene and searching for a dom to claim me.

I know patience is a virtue, but you also need some kind of bait. What are some good pointers that I need to practice or show to prove I can be loyal to someone?

Umm, no offense, because I think that you are really serious but...if someone had to 'practice' at being loyal to me...I sure as hell would not want anything to do with that person.

Loyalty either happens or it does not. You can not force it, you can not practice it...all you can do is trust in your instincts and whether or not to trust the person that you want to pledge your loyalty to.



kalikshama -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 5:30:39 PM)

quote:

you also need some kind of bait


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxW_ZCd64tg



littlewonder -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 7:01:53 PM)

you need bait??

Damn, that's what I was doing wrong!

Damn...I wonder how Master caught me

Hint: Just be you and get to know people. If you're compatible it will just work out that way. No need to complicate this. It's zero difference from teh same way you find a partner in any "lifestyle".




littlekitten1 -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 7:05:41 PM)

I think that getting to know someone and getting to like maybe even love them is the quickest way to get loyal to someone if it doesn't come naturally...

Or perhaps you haven't met the guy that triggers your submission. There are many doms out there with different dommin' styles.



sansa -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 7:59:19 PM)

Without reading all the other replies...my response is simply two words:

Be yourself.



peppermint -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 8:29:40 PM)

I looked for my best friend, and found a Dominant.  



playfulotter -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 10:31:48 PM)

I think it is both simple and complex..someone you can see yourself loving enough to submit to and someone who you see a future with.... There are a lot of men you might submit too but not much more...we all have been there and done that I think....



SubbyRaptor -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 10:50:53 PM)

But I do act myself and its apparently not working. Im doing something wrong obviously.



myotherself -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/29/2011 11:23:53 PM)

I think the only thing you're doing wrong is being impatient and slightly desperate.

Finding any relationship takes time. You've been on here less than a month, and in terms of finding the Dominant for you, that's no time at all. There are totally excellent male subs on here who are active in their local kink scene who have been looking for years. Hell, it took ME eight years to find Master, and it's supposed to be easier for fem subs to find a Dominant than male subs!

So slow down. Get out and about and meet other kinksters, change your profile from basically one long apology about your negatives and into something that will attract others to want to be with you.




DarkSteven -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/30/2011 4:24:23 AM)

Go to local events.  Help out as you see a need.  Talk to people at the events.



0ldhen -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/30/2011 4:36:40 AM)



Ah....ok.....you are a male sub....hence the need for "bait"

Get out there, do volunteer to cook for parties....clean up at munches...fetch drinks...etc.....get out there and meet folks.........

Rewrite the profile using spell check, it is otherwise fairly good.....though do include what you are offering......post...post....post here on the forums......

Basically you face the same problem all men, D or s face....there are more of you looking for us than vice versa so make yourself shine.......



kalikshama -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/30/2011 5:48:51 AM)

quote:

But I do act myself and its apparently not working. Im doing something wrong obviously.


There's lots of threads in the Ask A Mistress section which may be helpful. Do read the FAQs.



Kana -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/30/2011 6:48:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbyRaptor

Im new to the BDSM scene and searching for a dom to claim me.

I know patience is a virtue, but you also need some kind of bait. What are some good pointers that I need to practice or show to prove I can be loyal to someone?


Rework your profile. My god man, it's a trainwreck. Start out by highlighting your strengths, not your weaknesses. And for heavens sake, choose different pictures, really-it's a public safety issue.



DarkSteven -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/30/2011 6:54:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Rework your profile. My god man, it's a trainwreck. Start out by highlighting your strengths, not your weaknesses. And for heavens sake, choose different pictures, really-it's a public safety issue.



Agreed.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (7/30/2011 6:57:50 AM)

I"m with Kana, redo your profile. Geez it's all about you, you, you what YOU want, what YOU expect. I stopped reading because it just became monotonous after a while. What do you have to offer? Why should a dominant choose you? And yeah, change the pics, they aren't helping you.

Zeph



nephandi -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (8/5/2011 8:01:43 AM)

Greetings

My advice to be a good sub is to communicate what you think and feel with your future Dom, do not get bogged down with what others think you should or should not do or in expectations but rather work with your Dom to create the best relationship for you two together.

I wish you well



winspiritsbaby -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (8/5/2011 9:27:46 AM)

Alwaysed? What kind of word is that?
Anyway, I personally wasn't looking for a relationship when Win found me. I was looking for friends and for people that were understanding to the questions that I asked. I did have my profile filled out and explained that friends was what I was after, which is exactly where Win and I started. I asked him all kinds of questions and he always gave me very thought provoking answers. Things kind of just took their own course from there.
My point is, and this is only my opinion, maybe you are trying too hard? Sometimes the best things happen when we aren't really looking or trying for them [:D]



peppermint -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (8/5/2011 10:55:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbyRaptor

But I do act myself and its apparently not working. Im doing something wrong obviously.


Obviously you have not found the right partner for you.  That has nothing to do with you not doing something properly.  In fact, I congratulate you that you are taking your time and not jumping at the first person who says he or she  is a dominant.  It seems that you are doing some things just right. 

Patience IS a virtue. 



subbingforyou -> RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? (8/8/2011 5:19:56 PM)

I'd say you are going about this the wrong way. If you find a dominant you are interested in, you can demonstrate your interest and commitment by learning about them. A successful BDSM relationship doesn't depend on a checklist of right and wrong practices; it's about the energy between two specific people.



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