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Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 5:17:28 PM   
SubbyRaptor


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/15/2011
From: Phillipsburg, NJ
Status: offline 		Im new to the BDSM scene and searching for a dom to claim me.

I know patience is a virtue, but you also need some kind of bait. What are some good pointers that I need to practice or show to prove I can be loyal to someone?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 5:23:38 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbyRaptor

Im new to the BDSM scene and searching for a dom to claim me.

I know patience is a virtue, but you also need some kind of bait. What are some good pointers that I need to practice or show to prove I can be loyal to someone?

Umm, no offense, because I think that you are really serious but...if someone had to 'practice' at being loyal to me...I sure as hell would not want anything to do with that person.

Loyalty either happens or it does not. You can not force it, you can not practice it...all you can do is trust in your instincts and whether or not to trust the person that you want to pledge your loyalty to.


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RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 5:30:39 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

you also need some kind of bait


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxW_ZCd64tg

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RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 7:01:53 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		you need bait??

Damn, that's what I was doing wrong!

Damn...I wonder how Master caught me

Hint: Just be you and get to know people. If you're compatible it will just work out that way. No need to complicate this. It's zero difference from teh same way you find a partner in any "lifestyle".



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RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 7:05:41 PM   
littlekitten1


Posts: 160
Status: offline 		I think that getting to know someone and getting to like maybe even love them is the quickest way to get loyal to someone if it doesn't come naturally...

Or perhaps you haven't met the guy that triggers your submission. There are many doms out there with different dommin' styles.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 7:59:19 PM   
sansa


Posts: 56
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline 		Without reading all the other replies...my response is simply two words:

Be yourself.

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 8:29:40 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I looked for my best friend, and found a Dominant.  

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 10:31:48 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I think it is both simple and complex..someone you can see yourself loving enough to submit to and someone who you see a future with.... There are a lot of men you might submit too but not much more...we all have been there and done that I think....

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 7/29/2011 10:33:55 PM >

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RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 10:50:53 PM   
SubbyRaptor


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/15/2011
From: Phillipsburg, NJ
Status: offline 		But I do act myself and its apparently not working. Im doing something wrong obviously.

(in reply to playfulotter)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/29/2011 11:23:53 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I think the only thing you're doing wrong is being impatient and slightly desperate.

Finding any relationship takes time. You've been on here less than a month, and in terms of finding the Dominant for you, that's no time at all. There are totally excellent male subs on here who are active in their local kink scene who have been looking for years. Hell, it took ME eight years to find Master, and it's supposed to be easier for fem subs to find a Dominant than male subs!

So slow down. Get out and about and meet other kinksters, change your profile from basically one long apology about your negatives and into something that will attract others to want to be with you.



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RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/30/2011 4:24:23 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Go to local events.  Help out as you see a need.  Talk to people at the events.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/30/2011 4:36:40 AM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline

Ah....ok.....you are a male sub....hence the need for "bait"

Get out there, do volunteer to cook for parties....clean up at munches...fetch drinks...etc.....get out there and meet folks.........

Rewrite the profile using spell check, it is otherwise fairly good.....though do include what you are offering......post...post....post here on the forums......

Basically you face the same problem all men, D or s face....there are more of you looking for us than vice versa so make yourself shine.......

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Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/30/2011 5:48:51 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

But I do act myself and its apparently not working. Im doing something wrong obviously.


There's lots of threads in the Ask A Mistress section which may be helpful. Do read the FAQs.

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/30/2011 6:48:27 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbyRaptor

Im new to the BDSM scene and searching for a dom to claim me.

I know patience is a virtue, but you also need some kind of bait. What are some good pointers that I need to practice or show to prove I can be loyal to someone?


Rework your profile. My god man, it's a trainwreck. Start out by highlighting your strengths, not your weaknesses. And for heavens sake, choose different pictures, really-it's a public safety issue.


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/30/2011 6:54:48 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Rework your profile. My god man, it's a trainwreck. Start out by highlighting your strengths, not your weaknesses. And for heavens sake, choose different pictures, really-it's a public safety issue.



Agreed.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 7/30/2011 6:57:50 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		I"m with Kana, redo your profile. Geez it's all about you, you, you what YOU want, what YOU expect. I stopped reading because it just became monotonous after a while. What do you have to offer? Why should a dominant choose you? And yeah, change the pics, they aren't helping you.

Zeph


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And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 8/5/2011 8:01:43 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

My advice to be a good sub is to communicate what you think and feel with your future Dom, do not get bogged down with what others think you should or should not do or in expectations but rather work with your Dom to create the best relationship for you two together.

I wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 8/5/2011 9:27:46 AM   
winspiritsbaby


Posts: 141
Status: offline 		Alwaysed? What kind of word is that?
Anyway, I personally wasn't looking for a relationship when Win found me. I was looking for friends and for people that were understanding to the questions that I asked. I did have my profile filled out and explained that friends was what I was after, which is exactly where Win and I started. I asked him all kinds of questions and he always gave me very thought provoking answers. Things kind of just took their own course from there.
My point is, and this is only my opinion, maybe you are trying too hard? Sometimes the best things happen when we aren't really looking or trying for them

< Message edited by winspiritsbaby -- 8/5/2011 9:28:25 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 8/5/2011 10:55:02 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbyRaptor

But I do act myself and its apparently not working. Im doing something wrong obviously.


Obviously you have not found the right partner for you.  That has nothing to do with you not doing something properly.  In fact, I congratulate you that you are taking your time and not jumping at the first person who says he or she  is a dominant.  It seems that you are doing some things just right. 

Patience IS a virtue. 

< Message edited by peppermint -- 8/5/2011 10:56:36 AM >

(in reply to SubbyRaptor)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Tips for being a Good Sub? - 8/8/2011 5:19:56 PM   
subbingforyou


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		I'd say you are going about this the wrong way. If you find a dominant you are interested in, you can demonstrate your interest and commitment by learning about them. A successful BDSM relationship doesn't depend on a checklist of right and wrong practices; it's about the energy between two specific people.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 20
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