Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please!

Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (Full Version)

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Sunny27 -> Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 1:38:23 PM)
Heya, ok, So I've read lots of girls pages and I've only so far told two of them to change a few words that they've used to help them find people to play with so far one of them has written back to me saying Thanks, Treasure! The other one didn't even write back to me but put something else on her profile telling everyone that had an opinion of what she had written to keep it to themselves and that she wasn't interested in hearing what anyone had to say. I will say good luck to her in finding anyone interested in playing with her now! Now I know that their both Dommes but I have been a slave, a sub, a Domme and a playpartner myself. I just want to know, it's not just me in thinking that you have to be respectful and somewhat kind to who you are playing with right? Or am I wrong in thinking like that? I just want to know! Thanks! Treasurexxx

Lockit -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 1:49:56 PM)
Being respectful and kind to a play partner has nothing to do with what you did, which was tried to email someone to correct them on something they had on their profile. Big difference between those things. I might not have been responsive to your correction either and surely wouldn't be thankful that you felt you had the right to email me to do so. Being kind to my partner is all part of who I am. Now if I had a kink and a partner that not being kind was a part of our relationship... who is to say it should be any different? I had a lady read my journal and profile which was extensive at one time. After all that reading she emailed me to say that she used to be like me and hated men and didn't care if they ever got off. That was so not me.. but how she read me and assumed she knew me and projected her own obstacles into my world. I like men... I like cock... I like us both getting off. What I don't like are people telling me how I am and thinking they know how I am, without knowing me. The way I see it, you got a fifty fifty response. You got lucky.

SneakerWorship -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 1:55:29 PM)
I agree with Lockit. Profiles take some perceptiveness and are also subjective. Giving people unwarranted pointers is ...unwarranted, regardless of what your intention is. Holly

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 1:56:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunny27 Heya, ok, So I've read lots of girls pages and I've only so far told two of them to change a few words that they've used to help them find people to play with so far one of them has written back to me saying Thanks, Treasure! It also helps to not be massively disrespectful by referring to adult women as if they were minor children. [:'(]

Epytropos -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 2:00:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer It also helps to not be massively disrespectful by referring to adult women as if they were minor children. [:'(] Because clearly it isn't as if that's as common as rain amongst the population generally and women specifically.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 2:06:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunny27 Heya, ok, So I've read lots of girls pages and I've only so far told two of them to change a few words that they've used to help them find people to play with so far one of them has written back to me saying Thanks, Treasure! Where, exactly, do you get off telling people what to say in their profiles? That's some pretty big balls you got there. Did these women ask for your opinion or did you offer it unsolicited? Even if they asked, they are under no obligation to institute the changes you suggest. If they didn't ask, then you should STFU and mind your own business.

StrikingBeauty -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 2:17:42 PM)
I'm quite certain that someone who refers to grown women as "girls" doesn't have a lot of advice I need about my profile.

Marisol -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 2:23:54 PM)
The only time I find it appropriate to give advice if someone messages you first and say "Hey, why aren't I getting better results here?" and then give constructive criticism, don't shove your opinion down their throat. Opinions are like cocks, you may have one but don't shove it down my throat unless I get on my knees and ask for it! It seems like you are just genuinely trying to give advice, and don't have ill intentions. You don't seem overly arrogant. However, I think you should allow these people to have their way of doing things. Just go about your business. There are bigger things in this world people need corrected on, their CM profile is small shit.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 2:28:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Epytropos quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer It also helps to not be massively disrespectful by referring to adult women as if they were minor children. [:'(] Because clearly it isn't as if that's as common as rain amongst the population generally and women specifically. But it isn't. I don't remember the last time someone called me a 'girl' to my face, and I'm probably still just about young enough for that to be a fair title.

Killerangel -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 2:30:23 PM)
Speaking from my own viewpoint you don't seem to have much in common with me, so anything you'd offer as advice wouldn't really have any relevance to my life and I don't think I would change my profile according to what you thought might be a better way to do things. Being respectful and kind extends to keeping unasked for opinions to yourself.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 2:37:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Epytropos Because clearly it isn't as if that's as common as rain amongst the population generally and women specifically. Being common does not make it okay. You go right ahead and call a black man a "boy", or better yet, the n-word, and see what kind of reception you get. You can always explain to him that there's nothing wrong with what you said, it's as common as rain, so he shouldn't take any offense. Let us know how that works out for you.

Marisol -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 2:40:56 PM)
Having read your profile, it certainly isn't the best I've read. We can't seek to make changes in others until we've worked out our own problems. And since we're all destined to have problems for ever, we really have no right to go pointing fingers. -insert quote about logs, splinters and eyes-

LadyPact -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 7:11:53 PM)
You asked if you were wrong. In My opinion, yes you were, OP. Were these folks that in any way had asked you for your opinion of their profile? Was it a proof reading situation? Better yet, were you in some way attempting to tell them how they had to express the kind of kink they enjoy? (You specifically mentioned something about how they were treating play partners. What if their kink is humiliation, distance, or ice queen mode?) I don't know why people don't get this. I say it a lot but it doesn't seem to sink in. Female tops do not have problems finding play partners! I could write a complete ton of crap in a profile and it's not going to make one iota of difference when I walk into a club or a play party. Whatever "help" you were trying to provide, it's not going to make one bit of difference when the toys come out.

0ldhen -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 7:49:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunny27 I will say good luck to her in finding anyone interested in playing with her now! Now I know that their both Dommes but I have been a slave, a sub, a Domme and a playpartner myself. I just want to know, it's not just me in thinking that you have to be respectful and somewhat kind to who you are playing with right? Or am I wrong in thinking like that? I just want to know! Thanks! Treasurexxx To the Ladies whose forum this is...pardon the intrusion.... Sooooo...because these ladies you cmailed did not change their profiles as you suggested.....nobody will want them? HUH???????????? They were not playing with you, or friends, just folks whose profiles you attempted to correct but they are supposed to be kind to you because you cmailed to correct them? Huh again???????????? Female D types or even tops really can have as many play partners or subs as they want......I think the ratio is something like 50+ male subs/bottoms for every female here. Agreeing with LadyP here, yes, you were wrong. Most just do not appreciate others critisizing their profile. I personally have been told many times that if I removed the whole male biker only stuff from my profile I'd have more luck. With what? Finding any D type that'll do? Not what I'm looking for so why would I change what I've written?

DameBruschetta -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 8:16:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunny27 Heya, ok, So I've read lots of girls pages and I've only so far told two of them to change a few words that they've used to help them find people to play with so far one of them has written back to me saying Thanks, Treasure! The other one didn't even write back to me but put something else on her profile telling everyone that had an opinion of what she had written to keep it to themselves and that she wasn't interested in hearing what anyone had to say. I will say good luck to her in finding anyone interested in playing with her now! Now I know that their both Dommes but I have been a slave, a sub, a Domme and a playpartner myself. I just want to know, it's not just me in thinking that you have to be respectful and somewhat kind to who you are playing with right? Or am I wrong in thinking like that? I just want to know! Thanks! Treasurexxx Unless they have posted something to warrant some kind of sharing of your opinion - I think they have every right to take it the way they did. Many people write things a particular way because it reflects who they are. What would be a good correction to you could be off the wall to someone else. It is not much different then someone coming up to you on the street and telling you what you should change about yourself. Some people might appreciate it - but a lot of people won't. Most of us do not want unsolicitated advice, most people don't ever really even want solicited advice when asked they just want you to listen! I don't think that you are wrong in thinking that one should be respectful to a partner but you are not a play partner to these people. You are nothing more then a person behind a screen that they know nothing about and therefore have no value to them. It would be nice for us to all be respectful to each other, but one could also take your actions as disrespectful as well. You are in essence trying to do a good thing here and I get that, but someone's self expression is just that and many people do not take kindly to that criticism and what works for you may not work for them at all. It is all in personal taste and well.. don't we want something to find our taste? Just let it be.

Hisprettybaby -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 8:17:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunny27 Heya, ok, So I've read lots of girls pages and I've only so far told two of them to change a few words that they've used to help them find people to play with so far one of them has written back to me saying Thanks, Treasure! In the first place, I don't recommend calling post-pubescent women "girls" if you want them to respect you or give a shit what you have to say to them. You just got damn lucky that ANY of them wrote you a thank you note after offering UNsolicited advice. The other one didn't even write back to me but put something else on her profile telling everyone that had an opinion of what she had written to keep it to themselves and that she wasn't interested in hearing what anyone had to say. Imagine that, she didn't thank you profusely for your UNsolicited advice on her personal profile. A profile that is supposed to reflect HER, not YOUR perception of her. Maybe she was upset that you, a total stranger, seem to think that you somehow know her better than she knows herself. Oh, I would have written back, but only to tell you to mind your own damn business because you in no way know me or what I want to portray. I will say good luck to her in finding anyone interested in playing with her now! Now I know that their both Dommes but I have been a slave, a sub, a Domme and a playpartner myself. So, just because you have filled all these different roles at various times, you know these women better than they know themselves? You know better than they do what they want to say and how they want to portray themselves? I just want to know, it's not just me in thinking that you have to be respectful and somewhat kind to who you are playing with right? Or am I wrong in thinking like that? In my opinion a person should be respectful to the one they are playing with. But you aren't their play partner. You are nothing to them and you offered them UNsolicited and UNwanted advice, so why should you expect them to be respectful? If you did that to me, I wouldn't be very respectful either. I just want to know! Thanks! Treasurexxx Well, now you know. ~Hisprettybaby~

Tantriqu -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 8:18:51 PM)
You lost me at 'Heya'

SweetDommes -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 8:54:42 PM)
[fast reply] Had you written to our profile, my reply to you would have been something to the effect of "Gee thanks. When I give a flying fuck what you think, I'll be sure to take your tripe into consideration" The attitude that you exude, Sunny, is something that I typically only run across from males. Guys who think that they know what Holly and I want better than we do ... guys who think that they are just SOOOO special that even though they are <insert quality that is the exact opposite of what we want> that we'll make an exception for them ... guys who just KNOW that we secretly really do want to turn them into sissies, just because we're bi ... etc. etc. Shit like that gets really old, really fast. Pull up your big girl panties, realize that not everyone is just falling over themselves for your expert advice about their profiles, and head on down to the "get a clue store" and find yourself one.

risktaker9 -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 9:15:28 PM)
Pardon me but since it's not your profile then how do you know if your suggestions are an improvement or not? How do you actually know if what you have to add or remove from the profile in question will get the user what they truly want? Who the heck are you to think you have it all figured out for someone else? You have posted here for a time now, I could give you some unsolicited advice about what I think about how I think you come across in the various postings or that I think you should take down the twat picture in your profile, but what would be my point in doing that? It might seem like sour grapes somehow, you could certainly take it that way. Or you could take my intentions as well-meant advice which was trying to give you a more mature, respected presence on the boards. Wouldn't you be a bit put off by my presumption that you needed this overhaul? At 27 it seems as though you should have figured out a bit more on this subject by now. You sound like that rude kid in grade school that went around being unkind to others under the guise of being honest. Really....get a clue.

DarkSteven -> RE: Heya any girl Dommes or mistress help me please! (7/30/2011 9:22:19 PM)
As a Dom, I'd be furious if my sub decided to offer unsolicited critiques of others. It would reflect poorly on me. Does your Dom know that you're doing this? Did he suggest it?

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