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RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 4:57:22 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		It is great to hear that many know that this lifestyle is not a fix for their problems. 

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to bridget2)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 5:05:51 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		julia, you know any handymen slaves?  I have a domme friend that could "order" them to fix my dryer...LOL

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 6:32:27 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

Well, I'm not collared. I was thinking to make it past the barrier of keeping a boyfriend for more than a few weeks.
 
The "dominant to fix them", issue ... who really knows. Part of me wants to agree with the conventional wisdom that a person has to fix themselves, and is self-responsible, but at the same time, can't help relating my own experience of moving in with foster parents, and how much that changed (or even fixed) me.
 
Some people may be now, like I was at thirteen, where I had no sense of normalcy, no sense that I was worth anything to anyone. While it may sound a bit dramatic, the caring and normalcy offered back then, by two people, is probably the biggest reason I didn't cash in my chips on life a long time ago. When I look back now on my life back then, I realize I was just making it through life as someone's beater.
 
It doesn't end there. When it's 6am and I don't feel like taking that drive to class, or when I'm out late at night contemplating doing the wrong thing ... the unrelenting drive to make two people proud, tends to carry me.
 
I can see how a dominant would have that same impact on a wounded submissive. That's probably not the popular answer, but perhaps it's plausable.


caitlyn,
 
I dont think thats so much of a "collar" fixing something. I think its finding someone that honestly cares enough to give another the emotional support they need at the time. Its amazing what a little bit of compassion can do for someone who is at a point they feel like nothing is left....
 
I am glad that you did find a family to learn and grow with. Being alone as a child/teen is no fun at all. That alone is probably one of the most confusing times in a young persons life. Not quite being a child but not being an adult yet either. I'm glad that you were able to grow and start learning to have a better life and got the support you needed.
 
I do think that the drive to make someone else happy can be very strong, the trick is finding a middle ground where you are also driving yourself in the hopes of bettering yourself for yourself. Someone else may not be in your life forever but you will always be the person you have to depend on to make sure you are ok. I believe that establishing a strong sense of self is the way to achieve that. Be confident in who you are and try to look at every day as an opportunity to make that day a little better than the one before. Does that mean there wont be bad days? no.... not at all, but thats why we have friends who we can count on.... even if its just to vent or cry to.... that will try to atleast make us smile.
 
I do definately understand that sometimes in life we have to "borrow" the strength of another person in order to keep going. I'm just happy that you found yours and that you are making a better life for yourself, thats definately something to be very proud of.
 
quote:

In the last two years I have finsihed me BA, quit smoking, lost 50 lbs, and I went from letting myself go to exercising almost daily. I did this when I was unattached and not seeing anyone.  


juliaoceania, you also have something to be very proud of. Finding the strength and courage within yourself to complete the goals that you had set for yourself at the time! Many kudos to you as well.
 
~RS~

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 7:02:34 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I am uncollared...my life is full,happy,but this does not mean you do not continue to strive to improve areas of your life that you wish to change.If a person does not continue to try to change,grow,improve then that person stagnates.So hence there will always be a part of your life that you wish to enhance..for many that would be a new job, a new friendship,,or a new mate...so a submissive I feel is not seeking to be fixed , merely seeking to be enhanced by the right Dominant....and IMO..some Dominants seem to search out that which they percieve needs to be fixed...we all as humans seek out what we wish,for some submissives it is to be fixed ,and for Dominants, it is to fix...other side of coin...just simple enhancement of your life..be well..Tempting

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/19/2006 7:55:14 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Any others on this great friday night!

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/20/2006 8:32:13 AM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		Very well said.............."I do not understand... nor ever will I guess... why SOME feel they can't survive alone. Why they HAVE to have someone to tend to... or be tended by. Makes you wonder how they got along before hand. There are alot of strong submissive/slaves out there... that don't NEED to serve... but love to serve. So i'm not refering to everyones here".......................

My girl doesn't NEED to serve, she wants to and We both benefit from it. We help each other grow as individuals as We learn about ourselves and each other.

Being her Dom doesn't make me omnipotent...I do not have all the answers just because I swing the whip. I often learn from her, she teaches me lots of things and I like to think I do the same for her.



_____________________________

Kink Forever
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Docents_of_Museum/

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/20/2006 9:43:25 AM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Any other views?

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/20/2006 11:50:23 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
You really are cutting against the Amayos grain with these thoughts.

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/20/2006 4:33:53 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		wow to heady for me...........

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/20/2006 7:11:04 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I am also uncollared, and happy.  I have a very fulfilling life, friends, family.  A Dom would be icing on an already delicious cake.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/20/2006 8:19:20 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

wow to heady for me...........
...I have just read your last 3 responses..and hopefully misreading your comments..but I am getting the impression of extreme sarcasm..if this is correct..can you please explain why?...Tempting

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/21/2006 5:55:36 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		Like so many others, I am not looking for a dom who will 'fix' me or my problems, I am more than capable of looking after myself and working on any issues I have.  A dom would fill in the gap in my life which is the space/desire I have for a d/s relationship.

wanders

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/25/2006 8:57:23 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		heady as in a reply to cloudboy............think on the bright side MY GLASS IS HALF FULL......relaxxxxxxxxxxxx

No sarcasm. intended or implied...........
BUT I CAN AND WILL IF NECESSARY TO PLACE PEOPLE WHERE THEY WERE BORN TO BE............relax, smile, relaxxxxxxxxxx         

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/25/2006 8:58:29 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		WOW, sorry to offend anybody.......... chill

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: HAPPY DOM - 5/26/2006 1:11:51 AM   
aleshaDreams


Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I didn't read all the responses, so forgive me if i overwrite an idea here.

In my opinion, a collar fixes nothing, it is a symbol that is all - a symbol of ownership, protection, devotion etc. (how each define it).  A submissive heart will always lead the way and define ownership.  But back on point, with a diversion let us not forget the dominants out there that suggest to change things that do not need fixing.  For example, I tell a dominant that if I am to join them there are some specific things I require continuation on and unless he accepts my needs, then we have some issues, such as regular attendance to the gym that is my time; next thing I am confronted with is I am being told he will develop my fitness routine/workout, am being told he will pick out my gym clothes, tell me when it is appropriate to go to the gym although I already have set times, how I have to start teasing boys at the gym that I usually ignore, blah blah. 

Dominants are not fixes for problems but they certainly can help us overcome obstacles, and enhance areas of our lives that are troublesome and v.s.  After all regardless of anything a D/s relationship is still a partnership in all respects.  A large part of relationships is to open ones self to another, share your life through the good, bad and downright ugly times.  Perhaps I am wrong and this does not apply to the D/s lifestyle, but I really did think it was about growth of the individuals coming together as one unit, or household.  I ask you, is it possible to take ownership and not be fixing problems as they come up?  If you have a cherished antique car, and the tire goes flat, do you continue to drive with the flat or do you fix the tire.  Or even so, perhaps there is a similar vehicle available for purchase, you have inspected it and the majority of the car is in prime condition except for 1 flat tire, this is a cats meow of a workmanship except for that damn tire.  Do you walk away, or do you find a fix for the tire, to make it shine 100% and continue to care for its condition while it is your possession?

PS. Sorry if I downplay the importance of the collar here, I really think that the essence of the relationship needs less emphasis on the material aspects and more on the substance.  Collars can take years to aquire, or not, and I don't believe they prove a persons devotion any deeper than the actions one does in a day to maintain their dominant/masters desire; I see them more as confirmation of commitment.  Enough said, this is probably a topic already seeded 10x over.


< Message edited by aleshaDreams -- 5/26/2006 1:36:13 AM >

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 55
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