quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

On a personal note, our thanks to Gooddogbenji for being the catalyst for this post.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji
Anyway, I have no idea how I catalyzed this post.  Please do explain?

quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

Ahhh, dearest benji...  my love and I were discussing posts that were of interest to us, during which, we both agreed that yours were ones that we greatly enjoyed. 

After marveling over your intelligence and wit, FirmhandKY suggested that we may have to consider adopting you one day.  *grins*  I agreed wholeheartedly stating that I was of the impression that you would make a very good dominant if only you had a good role model; you use humor and sarcasm with such skill that it's hard to believe you aren't arrog... erm... confident.

It was when FirmhandKY was postulating that perhaps you might be a sam, that I wondered if it were possible to have a natural dominant who also possessed a masochistic streak.  If so, I think you've missed your calling.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

Ok, So ... how does a dominant reconcil their desire for pain inflicted upon them, with what I consider a dominant's inherent basic characteristic - that of having and maintaining control?

It seems to me to be a receipe for internal conflict.  How does such a person label themselves, or explain themselves?

I can see a sub talking to such a potential dom: "And you want me to ... do what?!" [sub runs].

Intellectually, I can see and agree that D/s orientation and S&M orientation can be different - but emotionally, I'm not sure how a masochist dom/me can really be classified as anything other than a "switch".  Not that I've got a real good handle on what a "switch" is, but it just seems to me, if I were wired as a masochist dom, that I'd say something like "I'm a dominant switch.  I've a strong streak of the desire for control, but do like an occasional flogging."

I've read several threads about submissives who had "doms" or even "masters", who ended up turning the relationship around 180 degrees.  My initial conclusion has always been a dom or master who was deceptive, but perhaps it wasn't that (or not totally that, anyway).

Perhaps this thread should be in the "Ask a Switch" category?

FHky

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear losttreasure, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I do identify as a Sadist.  My early days I was subjected to masochism.
However in the capacity as dominant, I have not 'switched' to receive masochism, unless taking care of a parent that can't stop talking, bitching, forever needy, complaining and would most likely be considered inhumane treatment if loaned to the CIA for torture tools count.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

Please don't misunderstand, HVW.  Switch is being used here as someone who sometimes is dominant, and sometimes submissive.  No denegration is intended whatsoever.  I'm just guessing here, of course, but I would think that perhaps those who are strictly dominant have more of a hard time understanding switches than those who are strictly submissive. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: beenwhipped

as a newbie, may i ask a stupid question?

what is a SAM? i have ran across the term a few times on forums, but never anywhere else

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

A couple of points (not directed to K2E, although it says so at the bottom of my post):

1.  I have no negative feelings about switches.  Intellectually, I'm curious.  Emotionally, I have no feelings one way or the other.  I just have no desire to experience being a switch.  Or, really, it would be better to say I have no desire to be a submissive, or experience the submissive side of "switchhood".

No inflamed emotions ... just ... indifferent, because I've no interest in it. 

2.  This entire thread was based on a conversation losttreasure and I had about SAMs and switches.  Basically, while I respect anyone's choices, and don't place a "higher" value on any particular choice someone makes in the D/s or S/M continuum, it just seemed to me that the particular combination of a dominant masochist was one that would create the greatest amount of difficulties and turmoil in such a person's life.

The posters who have identified themselves as masochistic and dominant seem to bear this hypothesis out.

FHky

I would just add that being a switch does not have to have anything to do with being submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

2.  This entire thread was based on a conversation losttreasure and I had about SAMs and switches.  Basically, while I respect anyone's choices, and don't place a "higher" value on any particular choice someone makes in the D/s or S/M continuum, it just seemed to me that the particular combination of a dominant masochist was one that would create the greatest amount of difficulties and turmoil in such a person's life.

The posters who have identified themselves as masochistic and dominant seem to bear this hypothesis out.

FHky

quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

2.  This entire thread was based on a conversation losttreasure and I had about SAMs and switches.  Basically, while I respect anyone's choices, and don't place a "higher" value on any particular choice someone makes in the D/s or S/M continuum, it just seemed to me that the particular combination of a dominant masochist was one that would create the greatest amount of difficulties and turmoil in such a person's life.

The posters who have identified themselves as masochistic and dominant seem to bear this hypothesis out.

FHky

Please tell me how I bore this out?,  I think you are seeing what yoiu wish

K

quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure
From what I understand, dominants are typically dominant in all aspects of their lives, never having the need to be submissive with regard to anything.  Submissives, however, often have to live a "dual life", being more dominant in their behavior in the "vanilla" world, and only being submissive when it is safe for them to do so.  Perhaps that gives submissives a keener understanding of how it can be possible to possess two diametrically opposed mindsets.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam
Fortunately for Me, a colleague Male Dom is only too tickled to accommodate My occasional needs, without ever expecting Me to bottom to him

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY
To me ... masochists ... receive pain inflicted upon them by someone else.  This "someone else", is therefore in a position of control over the masochist, even if under the authority of the masochist.