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Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 7/30/2011 10:08:44 PM   
softscreams


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		My Master and I have discussed having a girlfriend for a long time and have had one 3some... But now with him working more it really is time for us to find our girlfriend.. As she will be more for me than for him and for that reason he has put me in charge of finding her... and I really need advice on how to find her. I have been to every gay bar and messaged every girl I felt attracted to in a 2hr radius from where I live..but I still haven't found her..Ive had a few bites from some vanilla girls but I am at a lost as to how to explain our relationship to a vanilla girl without running her off. I am a switch. I have never owned a female before only males. It is a road I've always wanted to venture down...but now that the opportunity is here.. I'm a little lost on where to go and definetly need some directions. I've never had to look for a male sub...Finding a female submissive or atleast a vanilla girl whose ok with our relationship has been so much harder.. Am I doing something wrong?..or is it just harder to find females vs males?...xoxo
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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 7/30/2011 10:13:45 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softscreams
<snipped>..or is it just harder to find females vs males?...xoxo

^^^ THIS ^^^

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to softscreams)
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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 7/30/2011 10:38:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		you're hunting the mythical unicorn. Check out the poly forum for more info.



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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 7/30/2011 10:40:43 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

But now with him working more it really is time for us to find our girlfriend.

From the sounds of things, you only want one because you are bored. Not a good reason to be finding a third to share your life with; it's more like a recipe for disaster all around.

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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 7/30/2011 11:09:07 PM   
softscreams


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		Oh god no... my master is and pardon my french the most f*ck*ng amazing man I know...I am content with him and him alone. He has given me the best relationship I've ever had and I've never been bored by him ever. I used to work as a dominarix. It was something I enjoyed...but I enjoy submitting to him more. He was not comfortable with me owning men so we agreed from the very start of our relationship that when the time was right I would find a girl. I can't discuss his job...but what I can say is the divorce rate is high. The girl will be for both master and I He enjoys the excitement of it and I have a companion play toy when hes away.. I don't expect you to undersand it... it's what works for us and is a mutual choice that has been discussed for almost 2years now and in no way shape or form ever occured from boredom....xoxo

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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 7/30/2011 11:11:24 PM   
softscreams


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		Thank you littlewonder...I shall venture into the polyforum...xoxo

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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 7/31/2011 5:24:33 AM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softscreams

But now with him working more it really is time for us to find our girlfriend



Welllll....any female with enough sense to read your forum posts is going to feel reall important after reading the above.

There are folks who've been looking for a 3rd female for years.......figure on it taking a lonnggg time.

Be very clear about what you are offering...and what you are not.......

Even then expect many disasters before finding the right match.....

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Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 7/31/2011 6:06:46 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		1. Yes, it is harder to get a woman than a man.
2. You're not looking for a girl for you.  You're looking for a girl that is willing to have a relationship with BOTH of you,and to accept that she'll never be more then the third.
3. I wouldn't bother with a vanilla.  She'd have to accept BOTH your kink AND your poly.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to 0ldhen)
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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 7/31/2011 9:59:27 AM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		My former Owners had looked for several years before we found each other. They had owned one other before me & it ended due to geography. I hadn't even thought that I would find such a wonderful match with 2 people who loved each other. Finding a woman with whom you both can have a relationship is very difficult. To me, the whole thing seemed quite magical. It's very hard to find another person who I could love & who would love me back just as much; finding *two* other people & all three of us loving each other that much was a fuckin miracle. Plan on spending a few years on your search.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/3/2011 12:11:22 PM   
softscreams


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		If nothing else.. It does make me feel better knowing I am not alone in my search. Master said to hold off for now..Not totally sure why.. I was getting a little depressed every time a girl stood me up. I suppose I was rushing..I think I was excited about finally being ready and allowed to look for her..I'll know when I find her and I need to be patient.. Also your right about the vanilla girls it is to much... Thank you again for all of the comments..I really do appreciate it...xoxo

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)
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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/3/2011 12:46:57 PM   
gunner1310


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/25/2010
Status: offline 		I have been in the life style since 79 ' is is so so hard to find and maintain a Poly,,,,,,,, did i say hard ,,, that was an understatement ,,,
Live well , play hard
Gunner

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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/3/2011 1:33:27 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		oh fuck, this is just to fucking obvious.

you want to find a girlfriend?
https://encrypted.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&source=hp&q=gay+bar+charlston+nc&pbx=1&oq=gay+bar+charlston+nc&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=35l1436l1l2386l5l5l0l0l0l0l0l0ll0l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=661c0b1152c259b4&biw=1000&bih=600


_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/3/2011 2:58:03 PM   
SirDonOhio


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/19/2005
Status: offline 		We are in the identical situation.

Besides being a bit frustrated by the $$ sluts in CM, it still can be done.

When possible go EVERYWHERE as a couple, if she sees the 2 of you happy she may be more willing to try a 3-some. And certainly she may feel freer to start a conversation.

Especially go to muches and other lifestyle events where there could be a single woman--or more likely 2 women checking things out and using the extra for 'protection.'


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/3/2011 7:01:14 PM   
softscreams


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks HannahLynHeather I've been hitting the local gay bars...Lesbians are definetly out because they would have to be willing to have sex with him too...but occasionally you can find some Bi girls there too..

The Munch scene had kind of died here...But I will try and get back into that... Those meetings are always fun regardless.

*there is also another loop... Because of his job he can not go to the munches or gay bars..I'm not allowed to say what he does for a living to the girl until the relationship were to get serious and sometimes he is gone for a whole month at a time... There were a lot of things I wasn't allowed to know about him at first that I could see a sub having a hard time understanding..xoxo

(in reply to SirDonOhio)
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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/3/2011 7:52:44 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline
quote:

but occasionally you can find some Bi girls there too..
i don't know about sc, but here about 25% are fucking gay. 60% bi, and the other 15% there to be daring

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to softscreams)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/3/2011 8:18:56 PM   
orchid77


Posts: 125
Joined: 5/20/2011
Status: offline 		You could join some poly sites online. Although they are polygmous sites...many couples into polyamory...go to these sites. You need to be real clear what you're looking for and make sure it is all spelled out in your profile. Read other people's profile before making contact...I don't know how many times I have gotten emails from individuals who are polyamory when it is clear in my profile I am not looking for that. It can also get you flagged and removed, but it is a good place to start...and I would suggest thinking about how long you wish to court. Good luck.


(in reply to HannahLynHeather)
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RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/4/2011 9:55:47 PM   
softscreams


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		***The gay bar's are not so good here... But the drag shows are a lot of fun to watch.

***I'd never thought to check those websites...Thank You for the advice I very much appreciate it...xoxo

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/6/2011 7:55:56 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		welcome to the world of "finding a girl". Been there for years!!! only thing is that you have to find one for you and him (twice more difficult).

Just so you know, it very much sounds like he is using you to find a piece of ass. You stated he is inconfortable you with another man. I do not see what is so poly about that. You were an ex prodomme and had no problem finding male subs. I suggest you look for one (just my honest opinion).

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/6/2011 8:57:40 PM   
softscreams


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks Buzz for the advice.. I don't think he is using me for a peice of ass.. Its been a mutual agreement since the start of our relationship... One day I may go back to having submissive males.. for him it was a bad experience with an ex that has made him uncomfortable with it..He's a smart man..I think he will work through that in his own time..I however have never had a submissive female before so I honestly want to venture down that path regardless...xoxo

(in reply to Buzzzz)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Need Help...How to find my future girlfriend? - 8/7/2011 11:06:23 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		well then, go for it. only thing is that you are looking for the unicorn. If only physical play, you can go to your local dungeon and meet some local perverts. you should be able to find a female girl willing to play with you in public.

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



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Profile   Post #: 20
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