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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:26:44 PM

Fetters4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SuperHappy
Does pissing contest have a completely different meaning on a BDSM forum?

Yes, especially when some are into knife play!!!

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I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

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Post #: 141

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:47:15 PM

Arpig

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~FR~
Oddly enough you are all right. Hannah is right as are those who argue against her view.
Hannah is 100% correct, there is NOTHING more basic in the make up of a human being than the need to procreate. Sex is, while not the only motivation, it is the strongest this is due to it's biological function. Everything we do is a reflection of our personal reaction to this most basic of needs.

There are people like me who find it in the tears of pretty young girls, there are others who find it elsewhere, but we are all seeking personal fulfillment. To some this is a spiritual thing, and to be 100% honest, as an avowed agnostic, the closest I have ever felt to experiencing the divine was making a very young and vulnerable girl cry and beg in pain.

It appealed to me on a deeper level than i have ever experienced before, it was a spiritual experience.

I think the problem here is one of interpretation. Hannah says it is at the deepest level of our psyche, I fore one must agree, and I am sure most others do as well. This isn't a surface thing we do, but something fundamental.

Hannah says this most basic drive is to fuck, others say not always.

I think the "always" is the key. While I agree with Hannah that this thing is at it's ultimate source sexual in nature, that doesn't mean it's expression is sexual.

ASo we do what we do because it connects with us what deep down on a primal level, but we all express this urge differently, based on many different factors,

Hannah may be wrong, but I think she nailed it when she said: It's fucking, go fuck"*

Stop worrying about what it is and start doing it. Like Sunny said,; go get fucked and beat. have fun.

*paraphrase, I'm not certain she said it, but she's said things close.

Hope this makes some sense...new meds still messing with me.

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Post #: 142

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 5:54:36 PM

Arpig

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Regarding spiritual experiences, I should mention that listening to "Box of Rain" while coming down, looking out my window onto the forest on a foggy morning was one of the most spiritually profound and to be honest...ultimately meaningless of my experiences in this life.

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Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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Post #: 143

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:20:48 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

i derive pleasure from being hurt.

Exactly. YOU derive pleasure from being hurt.

I don't.

As to the rest, I really don't give a flying fuck.

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Post #: 144

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:24:14 PM

Fetters4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
I am a masochist. A hard core masochist. My late husband was a sadist. He got off on making me cry from pain; literally. However, we did NOT participate in sex after. It was not about having sex or about it being sexual in any way. It was about both of us letting off steam by means of violence. There is nothing sexual in violence at it's barest form. For a lot of people, there is absolutely nothing sexual in being caned/or doing the caning, etc etc. It's all about the feelings DURING, not about what happens after.

While their are forms of sadism and masochism that are not sexual, consensual sadomasochistic relationships usually are.

The reason you need masochism is that it releases a whole shitload of chemicals into your bloodstream. Those chemicals were intended to be released during sex: it's natures way to make sure we procreate. You do not perceive it as pleasure. Okay. Each to their own. You do not have to participate in sex afterward, because in the truest sense, you have already had sex. If you had your blood tested, the chemical balances would be similar to those after a really good screw.

It is just the way you are wired. Your sex drive has become a pain drive, but it is still about sex. You do what you need to do to release the endorphins. You just have an unusually severe way of doing it.

< Message edited by Fetters4U -- 8/3/2011 6:37:28 PM >

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 145

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 6:50:42 PM

HannahLynHeather

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[quoteExactly. YOU derive pleasure from being hurt.

I don't.

As to the rest, I really don't give a flying fuck.
[/quote]then why do you do it?

i don't feel it as pleasure, yet I derive pleasure we from it...it satisfies me on some fundamental level

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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Post #: 146

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 8:00:58 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

The reason you need masochism is that it releases a whole shitload of chemicals into your bloodstream. Those chemicals were intended to be released during sex: it's natures way to make sure we procreate. You do not perceive it as pleasure. Okay. Each to their own. You do not have to participate in sex afterward, because in the truest sense, you have already had sex. If you had your blood tested, the chemical balances would be similar to those after a really good screw.

It is just the way you are wired. Your sex drive has become a pain drive, but it is still about sex. You do what you need to do to release the endorphins. You just have an unusually severe way of doing it.

Must be nice to be so all knowing. Such a shame that you are wrong. But that's neither here nor there. If you need to be right to prove something to yourself, then go for it. I won't stand in your way.

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Post #: 147

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 8:04:33 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

then why do you do it?

It's simple.

Because it's violence at it's purest form. I need the release of violence that pain brings me so that I don't take it out on actual people. Instead, I take it out on myself.

I am not a passive masochist. By that I mean that I am never bound, never gagged...never restrained. I fight. I want to be kicked, hit, punched. I want to bleed. In return, I fight back, just as violently. It's a release for me, a release of violence. But, I do not receive pleasure from it; only peace in the form of knowing that I am once again safe to be around.

That, and that alone is the reason why I seek out pain.

edited to add: by actual people I mean those who are 'innocent'. In the past, my late husband was the one who gave me what I needed, in response I was able to fight back with him.

< Message edited by IrishMist -- 8/3/2011 8:06:14 PM >

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Post #: 148

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 8:07:43 PM

ThatsMissBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U
If you had your blood tested, the chemical balances would be similar to those after a really good screw.

It is just the way you are wired. Your sex drive has become a pain drive, but it is still about sex. You do what you need to do to release the endorphins. You just have an unusually severe way of doing it.

The blood test would also be similar right after a real bad car wreak but I don't see the sex in that either.

(in reply to Fetters4U)

Post #: 149

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 8:09:56 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatsMissBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U
If you had your blood tested, the chemical balances would be similar to those after a really good screw.

It is just the way you are wired. Your sex drive has become a pain drive, but it is still about sex. You do what you need to do to release the endorphins. You just have an unusually severe way of doing it.

The blood test would also be similar right after a real bad car wreak but I don't see the sex in that either.

LOL too true, too true.

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Post #: 150

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 9:47:57 PM

Fetters4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
Must be nice to be so all knowing. Such a shame that you are wrong. But that's neither here nor there. If you need to be right to prove something to yourself, then go for it. I won't stand in your way.

Why are you being defensive? I do not disagree with your explanation of things in any way. I accept what you have said verbatim. You are exactly what you say you are.

I tried to explain the underlying reasons for your behavior in a manner consistent with the normal functioning of a human body. It is also consistent with many modern theories on the topic by psychiatrists and psychologists. Is it right? God only knows.

Why do you think it is wrong? Do you have a better explanation?

Edit: Hmmm... Maybe you do. I just read your next post. Please see my response.

< Message edited by Fetters4U -- 8/3/2011 10:11:14 PM >

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 151

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 10:08:24 PM

Fetters4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatsMissBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U
If you had your blood tested, the chemical balances would be similar to those after a really good screw.

The blood test would also be similar right after a real bad car wreak but I don't see the sex in that either.

LOL too true, too true.

Sorry ladies. A bad car wreck would release adrenaline. Good sex releases endorphins. One is flight or fight. The other is pleasure and reward.

However, Irish Mist's earlier description of her masochism as a flat out brawl will trigger a flight or fight response. An adrenalin rush might be a powerful enough stimulant to explain things. In that case, I would have to withdraw my prior comments, and concede that what you are doing is not sexual.

However, a fist fight between a sadist and a masochist is just a fight, not BDSM. It is no different to a boxing match, and has no relevance in this discussion.

< Message edited by Fetters4U -- 8/3/2011 10:22:27 PM >

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 152

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 10:12:42 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

However, Irish Mist's description of her masochism as a flat out brawl may well trigger a flight and fight response. An adrenalin rush might be a powerful enough stimulant to explain things.

And you would be correct; it's an accurate description...though the flight part can be taken out...the fight part though...can't get enough.

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Post #: 153

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 10:35:50 PM

Fetters4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
And you would be correct; it's an accurate description...though the flight part can be taken out...the fight part though...can't get enough.

Yep. I get it. Truly interesting. Thanks for sharing.

It is all rather reminiscent of Fight Club.

I wonder at your description of yourself as a masochist though. It sounds more complex than that. What if you win the fight? Would you then be a sadist?

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 154

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 11:09:03 PM

IrishMist

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I never used to actually consider myself a masochist; I just started using that because people seem to be able to relate better to what I am saying when I use that.

As for winning the fight; it's not about winning or losing. It's hard to explain to someone who looks at things in black and white in regards to this. I once explained my particular kink as being a person who is like and addict who uses and abuses pain. I don't get a rush from it though. I am a very violent person and I found that I could release that violence through pain in such a way that it left me with peace instead.

Like I said, my late husband used to be my 'sparring' partner; now, I go to my basement and pound on a bag hanging from the ceiling until I no longer feel violent...all I feel is the pain and a feeling of peace.

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Post #: 155

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/3/2011 11:28:00 PM

IrishMist

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LOL I have never claimed not to be fucked up.

Dissect it however you wish so that it makes sense for YOU. It matters little to me if it's understood or not.

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RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/4/2011 3:51:58 AM

BeanTwiceOver

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Pretty much in point form, because that's how I function at five in the morning...

Number one, procreation is sexual in beings that sexually reproduce.

Number two, the presence of one primal urge does not necessarily suggest the absence of another.

Number three, are you aware of a species that reproduces asexually, but still forms social relationships? Because I'm not. Social relationships that do not result in "mating" are still always about sex because we establish communities from which to draw potential mates, and in which to raise offspring. There are other reasons why we socially interact with each other, but it is still always about sex.

If you're concerned with the question of whether or not you're sexually attracted to everyone in your social group, or whether or not you feel sexual about interacting with them, you're engaging my example at a much higher level of thought than I was suggesting.

Number four, the reason this thread is a clusterfuck is that it started with people discussing their own personal experiences on exactly that higher level of thought, and then Hannah pragmatically pointed out that BDSM is rooted in the sex drive (though it was likely a mistake to have done that, I would have, too - the "we're more complex!" back-patting was nauseating), and people fell over themselves taking offense that someone was invalidating their personal experience/spirituality/sparkly magic/whatever.

Feh.

< Message edited by BeanTwiceOver -- 8/4/2011 3:53:05 AM >

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Post #: 157

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/4/2011 4:29:24 AM

BonesFromAsh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeanTwiceOver

Number four, the reason this thread is a clusterfuck is that it started with people discussing their own personal experiences on exactly that higher level of thought, and then Hannah pragmatically pointed out that BDSM is rooted in the sex drive (though it was likely a mistake to have done that, I would have, too - the "we're more complex!" back-patting was nauseating), and people fell over themselves taking offense that someone was invalidating their personal experience/spirituality/sparkly magic/whatever.

Feh.

The original question was

quote:

So tell me is it really about sex for most people?

I can't answer for "most people", I can only answer for myself...hence, the personal experience response.
I'm curious to know what makes anyone more/better qualified to answer for "most people" moreso than anyone else and why that would seem to negate the "personal experience/spirituality/sparkly magic/whatever" in any way?

edited to finish my thought

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 8/4/2011 4:34:20 AM >

(in reply to BeanTwiceOver)

Post #: 158

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/4/2011 5:21:20 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

By rights, you should have been dogpiled for this bit of obnoxious self-righteousness. Why weren't you?

I am personally only willing to give minimal attention to her agenda of obnoxious to Hannah, as Hannah can take care of herself and I try not to feed trolls, but sometimes they are fun to play with, so I'm not going to predict what I will do in the future.

(in reply to BeanTwiceOver)

Post #: 159

RE: Is It Really All About Sex? - 8/4/2011 7:57:44 AM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
QED

Cogito ergo sum

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 160

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