RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (Full Version)

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Charnegui -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 1:19:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

just wanted to make a minor adjustment to the below:
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Are they asking for money? Fake
Is their picture a young hot body? CHANCES ARE, but it is not always true, that it is Fake
Is their profile full of grammar mistakes? Fake
Do they want to come live with you after one message that says "Hi"?Fake


I do not consider myself a fake LOL having a hmmm somewhat older hot body *grinz*

And yes.. munches and so are the perfect place to meet people irl.. Just find out what works for you.



lobodomslavery -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 1:20:15 PM)

Yeh Give those who have Financial Slavery or Financial Domination or Pro Domming a wide berth. Best tip. Free. Sure bet
kev



tj444 -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 1:26:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
  And a woman without a smartphone is probably a crack-whore.

Well,... I have a smartphone but where i am right now is sorta out in the acreages at the edge of the city and my "smart" cell phone reception is nil, nothing, nada. bweep bweep bweep "your phone is out of the service area"....

Ummm... So.. what does that make me??? [8|]



LadyConstanze -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 1:43:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

quote:

And a woman without a smartphone is probably a crack-whore.
fuck off. you are so fucking out of touch it isn't even fucking funny.

all of us crack whores have smart phones, we got them as soon as tthey came out. how the fuck do you think we let our pimps/dealers know we really are turning tricks and not working the night shift at mcdonald's?

i mean really sheepshagger, you should know better, what with us crack whores being pretty much the only human females  ewe''ve ever known*


*<known used here in the biblical sense>. [;)]



You made me think of this

[image]http://www.muttonbone.com/images/sheep_ani1.gif[/image]

They have raised the price a bit since I last ordered it as pressies for some "special" people but still pretty good, the FAQ should give you a good laugh

http://www.muttonbone.com/



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 1:49:16 PM)

quote:

all of us crack whores have smart phones, we got them as soon as tthey came out. how the fuck do you think we let our pimps/dealers know we really are turning tricks and not working the night shift at mcdonald's?


Dammit Hanners, that's supposed to be kept on the down low!



<-----------has smartphone





windchymes -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 1:51:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
  And a woman without a smartphone is probably a crack-whore.

Well,... I have a smartphone but where i am right now is sorta out in the acreages at the edge of the city and my "smart" cell phone reception is nil, nothing, nada. bweep bweep bweep "your phone is out of the service area"....

Ummm... So.. what does that make me??? [8|]



I don't know what that makes you, but that titmouse is trippin' on somethin', just sayin' .....



IrishMist -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 1:52:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SubATX

I am a new member to collarme.com and the BDSM community and have been thoroughly enjoying exploring the site over these last few days.
My question is how do some of the more experienced members of CM manage to sort through all of the fake profiles/spam/non genuine people? I am looking to make genuine connections, and to learn about BDSM from more knowledgable members, but that is difficult when its hard to determine if someone messaging you is truly who they say they are.

Any tips?

I have not read any of the other responses

My advice though is that as long as you remain in the area of the internet, there is NO way to know 100% that someone is real, or not. I would suggest getting out and meeting people at munches, demo's, parties, etc. Find people who have something to say that resonates within you, things in common, etc. While you are doing that, research...a lot.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 2:09:17 PM)

quote:

Well,... I have a smartphone but where i am right now is sorta out in the acreages at the edge of the city and my "smart" cell phone reception is nil, nothing, nada. bweep bweep bweep "your phone is out of the service area"....

Ummm... So.. what does that make me???
rural

e2a: which makes you the ideal candidate for sheep shagging. maybe you should hook up with the "aware" one. it's a fucking brilliant win-win. he gets off, you film it and sell it on the internet. we're not talking a global market, but in wales, new zealand, australia, northern scotland, and 97.97% of the middle east and certain other unmentioned ovinophiliac friendly places, the sky is the limit.



risktaker9 -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 2:25:07 PM)

I like the way you asked about this instead of having a meltdown, ranting about it, or blaming the site. This being the internet there are plenty of scammers or people who are being untruthful and therefore probably not on the same page as you are with wanting something RL. As far as learning things, open threads on here and read others, it's a great source of information. I don't want to speak for everyone, but writing to forum members in general with questions and such has worked out great for me. Everyone I've written to has been awesome at explaining things.

There are a couple common hallmarks of scammers and people who are pretending to be something else, in general...if something seems too good to be true then it probably is. If they ask for money even as a sign of 'sincerity' that's a red flag, if anyone wants to jump into an instant relationship - same thing. Scammers commonly make mistakes with weight on the profile info (they're estimating in kg instead of pounds), they make tons of grammar mistakes, they seem to be mute or deaf quite often, they want to jump into a relationship instantly with anyone, or they seem to be in catastrophic circumstances that need immediate help.

It's a bit harder to pick up on the false personas but as a woman we get the 'you have been reported as being a man, get on cam now and show me that you are a genetic woman' crap and there are guys that just want pics of you to collect. As someone else suggested, after a decent amount of time push for a phone call, this weeds out the guys, and push for meetings fairly soon as that will weed out those who are looking for online only thrills. You just have to look for things that don't add up.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 2:29:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubATX

My question is how do some of the more experienced members of CM manage to sort through all of the fake profiles/spam/non genuine people? ...... is difficult when its hard to determine if someone messaging you is truly who they say they are.

Any tips?


It's impossible to determine with 100% assurance if someone is real or not until you actually meet face-to-face.  However, there are some things that you can do to minimize the damage if someone should prove to NOT be real.

1)  Never send money to anyone.  Ever! Even if they say that they're a super-duper Domme, and that you must send them money before they'll even consider reading the message you sent them, still don't send them any money.

2)  Don't be too quick to jump into a D/s dynamic with someone you haven't met.  It amazes me how many people on here say things like "My master told me to go to a bar and give blowjobs to all of the men in the joint".  But when you ask them how long they've known their "Master", they'll say that they exchanged their first e-mails yesterday.  It probably doesn't make a lot of sense to call someone "Master" and obey all of their commands when you've only exchanged 1 e-mail.  That kind of makes you a desperate submission whore.

3) Don't get too emotionally invested in someone that you haven't actually met.  It sounds like common sense, but people on-line can be quick to fall in love with complete strangers.  Even if distance is a problem, at least have webcam sessions so you can be certain that "Mistress Sexy" isn't actually a fat, bald, 55 year old man.  If you can't meet in person, then at least webcam verify.  Voice verification isn't sufficient.

4)  Try not to be naive.  If a hot, young woman who looks like a super model e-mails you out of the blue, she's probably a fake.  After all, hot young supermodels probably aren't throwing themselves at you in real life, so what makes you think it would be any different on-line?

5)  But the best advice is probably to simply meet people at a local munch or play party.  It's pretty hard for a 300 lb. woman to pretend to be 120 lbs in person.  And it's even harder for a guy to pretend to be a woman face-to-face.



SubATX -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 2:55:06 PM)

Thanks everyone for the responses, they are a huge help and will, hopefully, allow me to avoid making some rookie mistakes.

Can people elaborate more on munches/demos/parties? I am still very unfamiliar with this community, could you tell me what the difference is between the three activities, what goes on at each and what's the best way to find out about these RL get togethers?

Thanks Everybody!






MissToYouRedux -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 2:59:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

4) Try not to be naive. If a hot, young woman who looks like a super model e-mails you out of the blue, she's probably a fake. After all, hot young supermodels probably aren't throwing themselves at you in real life, so what makes you think it would be any different on-line?


Quoted for truth [:D], but I sometimes think the internet makes optimists of us all. [;)]



VaguelyCurious -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 3:12:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SubATX

Can people elaborate more on munches/demos/parties? I am still very unfamiliar with this community, could you tell me what the difference is between the three activities, what goes on at each and what's the best way to find out about these RL get togethers?

Munch = informal get-together, normal clothing, no overt BDSM.

Demo = a workshop/talk/demonstration about a particular BDSM skill. Overt BDSM only in the context of the topic at hand.

Party = ...well, a party. Rules differ between parties, but normally there's kink and dressing up and funtimes (sex or no sex depending on the venue.)

Do a search on fetlife (www.fetlife.com) for groups with your town/state in the title. There's likely to be a listings group. Or just, y'know, google 'your town' 'BDSM events'. See what comes up.



LadyAngelika -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 3:58:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

just wanted to make a minor adjustment to the below:
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Are they asking for money? Fake
Is their picture a young hot body? CHANCES ARE, but it is not always true, that it is Fake
Is their profile full of grammar mistakes? Fake
Do they want to come live with you after one message that says "Hi"?Fake




People who have weaknesses in the grammar area are fake? Wow. I just always figured they simply had a disadvantage in the written world. Huh.

FWIW, one of my fondest relationships was with a man who spoke 5 languages, English being the 4th he learned. He wrote me the sweetest notes full of typos. Oh, and he was definitely not fake.
______

Anyhow, I guess we have different standards. I just use my intuition (which is pretty spot on) and make it tough for them. For example, if someone writes me a rather weak introduction but my instinct tells me it's out of shyness or other reason, I would write back the following:

Hi there. As I receive many messages here, I prefer for men to write to me telling me how they match what I'm looking for in my profile, if applicable of course. Then we'll take it from there.

99% of them don't write back, or if they do, they say something like can't we just chat, and then I don't care whether or not they are fake, as I see that they can't fulfill the simplest request from me.



farglebargle -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 4:00:06 PM)

They're all fake. Even mine.



SubATX -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 4:08:58 PM)

Thanks VaguelyCurious, that post was extremely helpful! I just signed up for a fetlife account and will continue to keep an eye out for gatherings in my area.

It's incredible just how ignorant a newbie, like myself, is when it comes to the BDSM lifestyle. I have been devouring as much information as possible and truly feel like I've found a community of like minded individuals. I can't thank all of you enough for answering my, somewhat ignorant, questions in as much detail as possible.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 4:27:59 PM)

quote:

Do a search on fetlife (www.fetlife.com) for groups with your town/state in the title.
i suppose, if you're a fucking masochist.



Desertrose5 -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 4:55:34 PM)

Ok,  here is my honest answer.  I have figured out 2 ways to verify.. I figure anything else can be tampered with.
1.  Phone verify them and make sure you have their number
2.  Ask them where they are at that moment and tell them you need a cell phone pic taken and sent to you within 10 minutes or see ya sailor.  You need to do both to verify
Works like a charm



StrongSpirit -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 5:00:10 PM)

Note if the city and the distance don't match, they are fake. Or are you stupid enough to believe that San Francisco is 10 miles from New York City.

If they put an email address in their profile it means they are fake. If they list any other website they would rather use to communicate, they are fake.

Then there are a bunch of English/cultural differences that are huge signs that they did not grow up in America. I am a god fearing, Native American with skin the colour of alabaster, so I know what I am talking about. :)



LadyPact -> RE: How do you sort out the real profiles from the fakes? (8/3/2011 5:13:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

quote:

Do a search on fetlife (www.fetlife.com) for groups with your town/state in the title.
i suppose, if you're a fucking masochist.

The one bonus of being on Fet is that site is spectacular for finding events and munch groups.  CM is really lacking in that area.  The "Upcoming Events" forum here isn't utilized nearly as much as it once was.  I think the last event that I actually attended that was advertised there was SELF 2010.  I've done four demos in the last year that I didn't even list on CM, but they were all promoted on Fet.



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