RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (Full Version)

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BlkTallFullfig -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 4:08:58 PM)

Sorry cloudboy, I'm with Amayos, Celeste, ShiftedJewel and Proprietrix.   I'm frequently firm, fair and understanding, but that in no way means all submissives will agree that I am...

Generally I think important qualities in a Dom/me are:
quote:

Amayos
As for the most important qualities in a dominant female (in my neck of the forest): Superiority, Imagination, Darkness, Beauty and Will.   I suppose one could throw in a dash of mercy when it's deserved

quote:

Bitatruble
who determines fair anyway? The dominant, right? Seems to me the very idea excludes its usage and if the submissive determined what was fair, what's the point in having a dominant in the first place?
I agree, if you want fair or 50/50, try vanilla or negotiate, but don't call it D/s or M/s.
quote:

ShiftedJewel
I would have to say honesty, integrity and intelligence.... as well as inner strength.
I love these, and we could probably agree Dom/mes and subs alike need these qualities in order to have a reasonable chance at a relationship.      M



cloudboy -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 6:24:30 PM)


If an absolute Monarch isn't fair, he's in for trouble in the long run. When an absolute Monarch is fair, it doesn't mean he's 50-50 or back in elementary school, or abdicating his power to someone else, no, it means he's being just in his decisionmaking.

(BTW: Your very being bleeds fairness.)

Although Celeste has tried to tie fairness into impartiality --- I would also try to dovetail it into wisdom --- where the exercise of power is concerned. It requires the ability of one to get beyond oneself into the realm of what is just, prudent, and best --- in terms of decisionmaking and the exercise of power. It really has nothing to do with having to be "50-50."

Fairness is quite maleable. Think of it in the context of:

Parent - Child, employer - employee, friend - friend, enemy - enemy, teacher - student, spouse -spouse, and Dom - sub. With each twosome the fiduciary duties of fairness slide and morph in different ways. It goes beyond Websters 5a definitions.

Now, being unfair in a D/S relationship has its sexy side (the power exchange component), but it also has its ugly side (exploitation, selfishness, holding someone down, treating someone wrongfully with a D/S attitude of entitlement) which if played up too much --- will result in serious relationship problems. Doms that don't know the difference here are doomed.




MsIncognito -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 7:10:44 PM)

I thought for sure that from a male sub perspective the three most important qualities in a Domme would be - has a pulse, can suck cock like a champ and still has all her own teeth [:D]

Yes, people, this is a joke! (for the humour impaired among us).



gooddogbenji -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 7:14:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

I thought for sure that from a male sub perspective the three most important qualities in a Domme would be - has a pulse, can suck cock like a champ and still has all her own teeth [:D]



Whoa whoa whoa!!!!  We're not talking about perfect, we're talking about the 3 most important features.  Although, if I find one like that, WOW.  I would be in love immediately....  wow... 

Yours,


benji



BitaTruble -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 7:16:02 PM)

quote:



Although Celeste has tried to tie fairness into impartiality --- I would also try to dovetail it into wisdom ---


Actually, I didn't 'try' to tie fairness into impartiality. It is what it is. I pointed out the fairness emphatically states 'free from self-interest' .. and, as I said, I never met a Master who was free from self-interest. You can dance around it all you want, Cloudboy.. change the definitions to suit your agenda if that's what you need to do. You can call a fish a bicycle, that doesn't mean you can ride it. I respect that by your standards a Dominant must have those qualities for you.. but fairness is not a requirement for everyone. One can be fair and not be wise and one can be wise and not be fair. Life is not fair, most people are not fair because they are not free from self-interest.  I'd say dominants, as a group, are the least 'fair' people around because they have the most self-interest of all. Aside from dominants, I'd list unmentionables as the group with the second most self-interest but without the power required to apply it successfully to get what they want.

Celeste



MsIncognito -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 7:16:11 PM)

Come on, benji, ya gotta shoot for the stars, man!



gooddogbenji -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 7:18:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

You can call a fish a bicycle, that doesn't mean you can ride it.



What if it's a really big fish?  Like a shark.   Can we make him ride it then?

Yours,


benji



Reflectivesoul -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 7:22:48 PM)

benji,
 
tell the truth its baby diapers ( having to change em) that is your limit.... lmao  ( sorry all inside joke..... )
 
However I do not feel a need to reply in any kind of decent manner to this thread cause just like urantiam those this one seeks advise from are also those that get bashed when they reply....
 
*winks at benji n heads out chucklin*



Level -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 7:32:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

My 3 most important qualities are:

Human
Alive
Over 18

After that, maybe:

Female
Dominant
Interested in me

Then, maybe, we can get into:

Fair
Firm
Understanding
Strong
Non-leprous

And then, what may be a deal breaker still is distance, age, kinks, level of commitment, already taken, etc...

I think I might start a thread on "If you had to live the rest of your life with only one organ, which would it be?" and see whether people are as willing to narrow it down.

Yours,


benji


LOL benji.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 9:16:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito
I thought for sure that from a male sub perspective the three most important qualities in a Domme would be - has a pulse, can suck cock like a champ and still has all her own teeth [:D]
    [sm=biggrin.gif]   [sm=biggrin.gif]   LOL
Are you sure the teeth are a necessary part of that list?   M



becca333 -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/19/2006 9:21:53 PM)

All of the above, plus a touch of humour.

I love a Dom who chuckles when he's planning something.

Although that doesn't necessarily mean I'll be chuckling too.



tbear25 -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/20/2006 8:09:41 AM)

ROFLMAO  cloudboy asks everyone's opinion, yet when they give it he says "Reading these rude, wrong, and misguided responses ........" WTF? I guess as long as you agree with him you are ok.

I have no opinion here because I am new to this stuff.  But,  I would think the 3 would be: trustworthy, firm, caring.




Level -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/20/2006 8:16:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tbear25

ROFLMAO  cloudboy asks everyone's opinion, yet when they give it he says "Reading these rude, wrong, and misguided responses ........" WTF? I guess as long as you agree with him you are ok.

I have no opinion here because I am new to this stuff.  But,  I would think the 3 would be: trustworthy, firm, caring.




I think cloudboy was kidding (at least a little bit LOL) with the "rude, wrong, and misguided" stuff.



BitaTruble -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/20/2006 9:29:17 AM)

I never did answer what my own big 3 were.. which are the ability to take and control power, consistancy and ethics which match my own.

Celeste



cloudboy -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/20/2006 11:56:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I think cloudboy was kidding (at least a little bit LOL) with the "rude, wrong, and misguided" stuff.[/color]


Shhhhhhhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone.

I wonder if Celeste sees any connection between "fairness" and ethics. Arguably each is a moral code.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/20/2006 12:09:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
I wonder if Celeste sees any connection between "fairness" and ethics. Arguably each is a moral code.
 I believe "ethics matching my own" would mean to me someone (submissive to me) trusts me enough to treat them with a reasonable amount of care, respect and dignity because we value life/humans in a similar fashion.    Fairness is VERY subjective within wiitwd. 
I could be wrong, and hope Celeste comes to reply for you.   M



WhiteRadiance -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/20/2006 12:46:14 PM)

Does anyone else get the impression the OP feels he has been treated unfairly?
 
Here are my top three...
 
1. Humor- No Dominant should take herself too seriously
2. Empathy- A Domme can be empathetic and still be considered "unfair"...
3. Consistancy- No wavering, no weakness...
 
There is no such thing as fairness when it comes to punishment.  If you are a submissive things are not equal.  A Dominant SHOULD be empathetic, and consider the feelings of her submissive. 
 

 
 
 
 



gooddogbenji -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/20/2006 12:55:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I wonder if Celeste sees any connection between "fairness" and ethics. Arguably each is a moral code.



That's like saying there is a connection between an elephant and a ballpoint pen.  Arguably each is an object.  So?

Fairness is free of self interest.  Ethics is not, or VERY rarely.  Otherwise, capitalism in any form would be so wrong ethically, as it's based on each person working mostly to increase their own wealth. 

Yours,


benji



Wulfchyld -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/20/2006 1:03:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

A DOM without fairness is like.....

a boat without a propeller

a lover without a tongue

a surveyor without a map



I love to sail.

Ahhhh.... sweet silence.

My GPS works great!



MistressLorelei -> RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities (5/20/2006 1:05:19 PM)

I think that fairness is being viewed as caring in Cloudboy's definition.  It would be *fair* if the dominant served the submissive for every time the submissive served the dominant.   Seeing that the submissive is thriving in the environment where he is not not getting the 'fair' share of servitude or control, etc. is *caring*... not fairness.



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