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lizi -> RE: weird fetish (8/10/2011 9:43:49 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stoni23
iluvgassygirls: you need to refocus a touch. As many have hinted here, it can't be all what you want.
I learned this the hard way myself. Always called myself a slave or a submissive but all I really cared about was indulging my own fantasies, and trying to find that perfect someone that will indulge them for me.
You have to get beyond your insatiable desire to have your own fantasies realized, and be willing to help someone out with their own fantasies. This will usually include some things that you may not necessarily want to do (ever eat dog food? :) ).
Once I realized that it wasn't just about what I wanted, some new avenues began to open up for me. You will also find the more willing you are to bend to someone's will, the more willing they usually will be to help you achieve those fantasies you're trying to get. It just probably won't happen right away.
I had to requote what you wrote stoni! People on these boards have been telling that to posters for eons, and it never seems to sink in; it's just so cool to have someone come here and say that they learned the very same thing that is pretty much a standard answer in a ton of the threads on here. Omg...it just blew me away to find that on here today. Thank you!
If I can add one small thing, I hate to mess with perfection, but perhaps for the others that are reading this and filing it away....from a woman's point of view it's not so much wanting our fantasies realized as wanting to be treated like a person and not a fetish/sex/kink delivery system. In general women are looking for relationships and they're looking for someone to value who they are. Sure, fantasies come into play for us, but with a trusted, valued, partner. That takes time and effort. To sum it up, for women it's generally more about being with the person, not about the activities. That is where the sexes differ. Men focus on the activities and therefore don't find the woman who will give them to him.
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