RE: Selecting a DOM/Master

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RE: Selecting a DOM/Master - 8/14/2011 2:57:55 PM

erieangel

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

One reason why I find this discussion so fascinating is b/c it is exploring what is at the core of submission. Is it obedience? Or is it a desire to be pleasing?

For me, the short answer would be the synchronicity that occurs brings about the most peaceful feelings inside. Obedience and a desire to be pleasing (to him) are part of that, but not the whole.

I think it also has a bit to do with feeling loved, protected and safe; having a feeling of belonging. For me, that is part of the appeal of wanting to submit. For others, it may not be so much so.

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RE: Selecting a DOM/Master - 8/14/2011 7:40:03 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

If you say so. If your master is up for that and that makes the two of you happy, more power to you, but personally I have enough struggle in my life without inviting it into my love life. I'm not saying there can never be struggle, because that's a natural part of things, but certainly to the degree that you've described it wouldn't be something I'd tolerate on a long-term basis. Maybe for a few violent hate-sex type scenes, just to have the rush of 'taming' someone no one else could, but nothing beyond that.

Like I say, if it makes the two of you happy more power to you. Just not my scene.

Well, ok :). I actually thought that I'd portrayed us as a rather happy pairing. I haven't a bad word to say about M apart from the fact that he's the *most annoying man in the universe*.

Of course it's not going to be the same as owning a submissive person. Sparks do fly occasionally......but don't miss the other parts. We could NEVER be even marginally related to violent hate-sex scenes.n Wow, I'm quite taken aback that this is how I've portayed M and I or how we're seen.

Gosh, I'm passionately devoted to this man, not some bitched-up cow he has to spend his life wearing himself out hanging onto.

I'm just not submissive, that doesn't mean that I'm relentlessly awkward.

agirl

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RE: Selecting a DOM/Master - 8/14/2011 8:41:04 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

agirl I love reading about your relationship. I know several women on Fet who live as property but who are not at all submissive in nature. At first it kind of twisted my mind to understand that concept, but the more I've spoken to them the more I get it. It has been a pleasure and enlightening to discover, and also a bit liberating in understanding that it's ok to be myself and push back from time to time.

I do have a submissive demeanor with him overall, but at times I can and do resist, only to ultimately comply when push comes to shove. He accepts this and doesn't find it to be a hassle. I do know of others, however, who are owned property yet not submissive at all. For some, the "power struggle" is something they BOTH enjoy. For others, the corral they find themselves in gives them the structure and reassurance they want and need, and their owners are quite happy with the arrangement.

I love that you can come out here and freely express how it is for you, even when it goes against the general tide, so to speak.

Thank you NV. I appreciate your comments.

I don't have much to say about many things that are spoken about on here as I don't share the submissive personality that the majority do, despite my choice of kneel/slash/whip/whatever. I still live much of the same way they do.

I still have many of the feelings that people express because I'm conditioned or *tamed*. But some of them do not apply.

I don't care as much as other's seem to, if M's not pleased. His happiness is his, not mine. I often obey simply because I can't be his if I don't, not because I want to obey. If I ignore a rule I get beaten for it and I accept it with a good grace and with not a shred of resentment.

Aha, I just read BitaTruble's post...well, that's someone else with a similar outlook. Thanks for your thoughts BitaTruble, It's quite nice to know that others share at least a bit of the outlook we have.

So replying to all that commented on my post to save space...

No Epytropis,

M didn't choose a submissive to own, so he clearly didn't want that. He wanted ME, and of COURSE it's not the same as owning a submissive person. As for the hate-sex type of scene, I think I've fallen down badly if that's what our relationship looks like from my posts. Neither of us would describe being together as *tolerating* :) I'm not sure what *degree* of struggle you're referring to, though.

ChatteParfaitt...

I rarely ever think about *submitting* or* submission*. I do what he says for all the reasons I've already mentioned, or pay the price if I do not. I obey most often because it's what I agreed to do.......I can't get *unowned* by being disobedient, I just get the crap beaten out of me and I don't do * it* again for a long, long while.

It's not hard to own me, for someone that's fine with what they chose. It's not THAT hard to be owned by M either, if you accept that you are going to end up doing it his way, whether you like it or not, and you'll still come out smiling, even if it's a bit ruefully.

I was perfect all weekend and M grinned at me and said ..* You managed it because you treated it as a challenge.......didn't you?* All I could do was grin back. I'd have been lying to refute that :)

He gets me.

agirl

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