Sub or Slave

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Sub or Slave

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Sub or Slave

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 11:34:45 AM

Slaveforlife789

Posts: 45
Joined: 8/2/2011
Status: offline

Someone helps me here: what on earth is the difference between a "sub" and a "slave"? I am not talking about bedroom kink but mainly out of bedroom interactions.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 11:36:06 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

use the search function.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Slaveforlife789)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 11:40:00 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Everyone has their own take. Add yours.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 11:42:05 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

use the search function.

I second that

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 11:45:37 AM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

This is going to sound really trite, bit I'm going to save you and everybody a lot of time.

There's a whole lot of different variations in exactly different people view it but basically it all boils down to this:

If she says she's a sub, she's a sub.

If she says she's a slave, she's a slave.

Hope that helped.

(in reply to Slaveforlife789)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:05:36 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

but Heather.. what if she says she's a sub, and she/he decides the girl is actually a slave, but the girl doesnt want to BE a slave??

*giggle*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:08:21 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Then she can WAS one. Goddammit!!! Do I have to do EVERYTHING? What the fuck is the sense of owning slavegirls then?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:08:58 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slaveforlife789

Someone helps me here: what on earth is the difference between a "sub" and a "slave"? I am not talking about bedroom kink but mainly out of bedroom interactions.

A sub is something I enjoy at lunch. Toasted with a drizzle of bleu cheese vinaigrette dressing with black olives onions & japeno peppers....
Nom nom nom....

_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video

(in reply to Slaveforlife789)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:10:45 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Then she can WAS one. Goddammit!!! Do I have to do EVERYTHING? What the fuck is the sense of owning slavegirls then?

Ron.. you slut!! (sorry.. was watching old SNL clips last night... )

you just want a blowjob.. you dont care WTF she calls herself!! *grin*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:17:06 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

My own personal interpretation is that it is a matter of degree.

(in reply to Slaveforlife789)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:23:56 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

A submissive has some degree of power/say/freedom within the relationship. A slave, little to none. Just my (very uneducated) opinion.

pam

(in reply to lizi)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:43:40 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slaveforlife789

Someone helps me here: what on earth is the difference between a "sub" and a "slave"? I am not talking about bedroom kink but mainly out of bedroom interactions.

You won't find the same exact answer from most of the responses here, as we
all define ourselves and our interactions to suit our own relationships.
However, there will be a majority stating that it is all in the amount of control
one gives to the other.

Since you have already chosen the name Slaveforlife789 as your user id,
you have your idea of what slave means to you, and no one here can change that.

There have been many previous threads with this same query. Here is one of them.

Welcome to the forum.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Slaveforlife789)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:45:30 PM

Slaveforlife789

Posts: 45
Joined: 8/2/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slaveforlife789

Someone helps me here: what on earth is the difference between a "sub" and a "slave"? I am not talking about bedroom kink but mainly out of bedroom interactions.

You won't find the same exact answer from most of the responses here, as we
all define ourselves and our interactions to suit our own relationships.
However, there will be a majority stating that it is all in the amount of control
one gives to the other.

Since you have already chosen the name Slaveforlife789 as your user id,
you have your idea of what slave means to you, and no one here can change that.

There have been many previous threads with this same query. Here is one of them.

Welcome to the forum.

Excellent. Thanks

(in reply to poise)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:48:17 PM

quasarr

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/2/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BurntKitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slaveforlife789

Someone helps me here: what on earth is the difference between a "sub" and a "slave"? I am not talking about bedroom kink but mainly out of bedroom interactions.

A sub is something I enjoy at lunch. Toasted with a drizzle of bleu cheese vinaigrette dressing with black olives onions & japeno peppers....
Nom nom nom....

Aaahahahaha. Best answer! ^__^

(in reply to BurntKitty)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:51:30 PM

quasarr

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/2/2011
Status: offline

To me I think the titles come from varrying degrees of "ownership", I guess you could say. I'm not very experienced in the BDSM lifestyle, but my guess would be that a Dom micromanages a slave's life moreso than He would a sub. Slaves are "owned", and I don't think that subs would be so much.

(in reply to quasarr)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 12:58:12 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

A sub is something I enjoy at lunch. Toasted with a drizzle of bleu cheese vinaigrette dressing with black olives onions & japeno peppers....
Nom nom nom....

If I can skip the olives I'm in!

OK...cue lights....ready?

Standard explanation, take #2347.

A sub is a slave that identifies as a sub. A slave is a sub that identifies as a slave.

CUT!

That's a wrap, thank you Mr Pigglesworth.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to BurntKitty)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 1:03:09 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

even though there are a TON of threads on this exact topic, I'll cut to the chase

sub is left with making a choice on what they will or won't do. It is still a democracy.

slave has one choice..stay or leave. It is not a democracy. It is not a mutual decision once entered into.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Arpig)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 1:45:26 PM

Slaveforlife789

Posts: 45
Joined: 8/2/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

even though there are a TON of threads on this exact topic, I'll cut to the chase

sub is left with making a choice on what they will or won't do. It is still a democracy.

slave has one choice..stay or leave. It is not a democracy. It is not a mutual decision once entered into.

Cool, thanks but it seems most here do not have really a clear definition for the difference. I guess I should be something in between "Sublve" lol I may change my name to Sublve mmm I will think about it

< Message edited by Slaveforlife789 -- 8/9/2011 1:46:09 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 1:55:08 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

that's because no one agrees on the definition.

You'll usually hear "It's whatever you want it to mean".

Problem with that is with no set defintiion it's very difficult when getting to know someone to make sure you are both on the same page so my advice to you is to make sure you thoroughly and clearly tell others what you want and who you are so there are no surprises later. Don't just tell them you are a slave or a sub, tell them what you want, what you like, what you are seeking...in detail...not just in vague terms which seems to be the problem that most have.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Slaveforlife789)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Sub or Slave - 8/9/2011 1:58:44 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I found that when I was looking, the most effective way to present myself accurately was to ask the person I was conversing with for his definition of sub and slave. That way I knew how they defined it, and I could give them a more accurate picture of where I fell on their graph. I would say something like, "I generally call myself a submissive; what qualities are you looking for, and how do you define the categories?" Asking for their definition was kind of a shorthand way to cut to the chase of if our overall views matched enough to even continue talking.

There is some kind of fact-finding or negotiation with each couple on this particular subject. It's a continual process I've noticed that evolves with time and familiarity. People usually start with some kind of base, and as they evolve with each other then things develop, hopefully, into what satisfies both of their needs.

(in reply to Slaveforlife789)

Profile

Post #: 20