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Intensity - 8/9/2011 12:22:47 PM

Steponme73

Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
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Do you think as you get older that your intensity level lessens? Do you play as hard as when you were younger, do you whip as hard, as long, do you step as hard, etc.
I am just wondering if this lifestyle we have is for the young or the young at heart...

Post #: 1

RE: Intensity - 8/9/2011 12:52:36 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
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From: Increasingly further from reality
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That is a really pointless question. Of course my play has slowed down. My whole life has slowed down. I don't do anything with the same intensity I did when I was young.

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RE: Intensity - 8/9/2011 1:08:10 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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I still lust for the same level of surrender from a man. That's been a consistent as far back as I can remember. If I get "there" through physical pain, or bondage, or humiliation, or denial - that's more a function of how he's wired to feel vulnerable and my level of attraction to him based on how he reacts to it.

If I am - one day - physically incapable of dominating a man with my body or tools, I don't think my desires will go away. I will just have to become more creative. A long time fantasy - which I might have to employ in time - is to have a protege, young and eager and cruel, who I will instruct in the ways of dominance so I can have her do the physical torture while I sit back and enjoy. It's mostly a fantasy, and one I have dabbled in by doing things like taking a man to a pro and sitting back doing the instructing, or co-topping with a girlfriend and taking the role of "director."

When I envision it, I get just as much satisfaction so long as the man knows that I am the one controlling his fate, despite me having to even lift a finger. As long and he knows where to direct the desperation, whimpering, fear and surrender.

Akasha

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Post #: 3

RE: Intensity - 8/9/2011 1:17:09 PM

LadyPact

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Personally, I do tend to play as hard. That's not saying that it doesn't take Me just a bit longer to recover.

In the last couple of months, I've been to a couple of multiple day events. Those are usually filled with lots of play, little sleep, and a lot of scheduled activities. By Sunday, those of us who have been doing this a few years will have at least some mention of how we don't bounce back quite the way that we used to. If it's a weekend event, I generally take Monday off (when possible) just to recuperate. I might have My act back together by Tuesday.

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RE: Intensity - 8/9/2011 3:26:45 PM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I don't have the stamina I had twenty years ago, but I have lots more skills and experience. I play harder than I ever did, when I get the chance! When I'm a rickety old thing, I'll be swinging my singletail from my wheelchair!

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RE: Intensity - 8/9/2011 4:04:43 PM

GloriousMorning

Posts: 171
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My play style has evolved over time to include some more extreme forms of play, but the intensity has increased, from dabbler to full on sadist!

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RE: Intensity - 8/9/2011 8:47:46 PM

Lockit

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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I'll let you know next week or when I can, depending on how long it takes me to recover.

I may hurt as much as he does... oh well, the price of growin old and still wanting to do what a twenty year old does. That's what ibuprofen is for.. well that and lazy days in bed!

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RE: Intensity - 8/10/2011 3:02:05 AM

LadyConstanze

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Actually age only seems to have cranked up the intensity of the play

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Post #: 8

RE: Intensity - 8/10/2011 9:19:31 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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The older i get the less I can withstand. My skin is thinner, I can't move as fast, my body just can't take what it used to, my energy is much less now. I'm not 20 anymore and I don't pretend to be.

I'm lucky if i can take even half of what I used to when I was young.

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RE: Intensity - 8/10/2011 10:32:18 AM

Steponme73

Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
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I realize that as we get older the physical side of BDSM gets harder. But how about the mental side? Do you still have the same intensity as when you were younger? I also wonder how the "change in life" affects the women. Does that play a part also?
From my perspective, I can not stand the physical near as much. In fact, it is extremely hard for me to play for any length of time. The mental side is also weaker...the intensity for me is less. I have found that since I have been diagnosed with Parkingson's it has changed a lot. And that kind of explains for me the less intensity over the past few years.
I know as we get older there will be more aches and pains...I just wonder how it affects everyone mentally as well.

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Post #: 10

RE: Intensity - 8/10/2011 11:01:14 AM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I find that as I get older (and yay perimenopause!) my tolerance for nonsense is even less. I am very secure in myself these days, and want what I WANT, nothing less. The primal energy is still there, absolutely.

I have several friends in their 60's and 70's who play and live the M/s life as enthusiastically as they ever did.

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Post #: 11

RE: Intensity - 8/10/2011 11:21:23 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

I realize that as we get older the physical side of BDSM gets harder. But how about the mental side? Do you still have the same intensity as when you were younger? I also wonder how the "change in life" affects the women. Does that play a part also?
From my perspective, I can not stand the physical near as much. In fact, it is extremely hard for me to play for any length of time. The mental side is also weaker...the intensity for me is less. I have found that since I have been diagnosed with Parkingson's it has changed a lot. And that kind of explains for me the less intensity over the past few years.
I know as we get older there will be more aches and pains...I just wonder how it affects everyone mentally as well.

For me, most everything begins with the mental. I cannot say that I even think of anything important that has become less, physically. Much like LadyHib, my bullshit tolerance is pretty much non existent. It never was terribly strong to begin with.

I think my intensity has only increased. But not just with regards to anything BDSM, but with everything that is important to me. I seriously don't even feel like the same person I was in my 20's and 30's. Even early 40's seems rather foreign.

My sex drive has pretty much fallen off the face of the earth but....the reality is that I don't even give a shit. The things I've gained far outweigh that. The sex drive does come back when there is a specific chemistry with someone, but without that, it is dormant and not missed.

For ME, the intensity comes from within. With no better way to think of saying it, it's a sort of, personal well of power. That is much stronger now than ever before.

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Post #: 12

RE: Intensity - 8/10/2011 11:24:18 AM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Postmenopausal zest, they used to call it! HAHAHAAA!!

My sex drive has evaporated, too, except in rare circumstances. It's amazingly good. I was always self-generated, if you get what I mean, but now I am much more focused and less likely to be misled by pheromones.

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Post #: 13

RE: Intensity - 8/10/2011 11:46:38 AM

Lockit

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Steponme, I am sorry to hear about your dx. Hang in there buddy! You don't complain... but if you ever wish to or even need to get a few cyber hugs that are really meant, you know where I am.

I don't think the strength or intensity of my desire has changed, but I have. I am no longer interested in the animal rut with no strings attached. *Yes, I was slutty enough to go there... often!* Now, I want everything else in place and then the party is on. Can I keep up like I used to... yes... but darn if that down time doesn't take far more time afterwords. One lover and I would go at it all night long and then would stay away from each other for a couple days because we both were recovering! Seriously... had we had walkers, we would have used them! lol Yet, it was so much fun breaking each other.

Because it takes a lot for me to want a certain man... I always want what comes with a certain man... but I wait until I find him; I have wondered... could I keep up. There are times when I know nothing has changed and times when I know they have. I pick lighter activities on the days I am feeling less than and plot the days when I am better.

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Post #: 14

RE: Intensity - 8/10/2011 12:07:50 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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answering as to the mental side..no the intensity is not there as it once was. I no longer have the raging hormones, I'm not willing to or even have any desire to hump like rabbits 24/7. When i was younger, sure. But now, no thanks. Now with the stresses of work, kid, Master, home, finances, etc....I just have too much on my mind and it's just not something I even think about now. When I was younger I didn't have any of that stress and we did it whenever, wherever and I simply didn't give a fuck for much of anything else except getting laid and getting drunk.

When you get older your life changes and those things that were once important, as they should be, it's part of the mating ritual of all animals, they just aren't as important anymore. Now you've moved away from that arena of life and onto the next level.

Imo it's completely normal.

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Post #: 15

RE: Intensity - 8/11/2011 11:04:07 PM

simplyready

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/25/2007
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It just depends on you.
There is no "real truth"!
slave alain.

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Post #: 16

RE: Intensity - 8/12/2011 9:09:35 PM

subinchico

Posts: 119
Joined: 1/6/2008
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Regardless of age these intensity levels are determined by the chemical activity at the neuronal synapse or within the neuron; which can be altered naturally or artificially.
Dream on!

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Post #: 17

RE: Intensity - 8/14/2011 12:27:50 PM

MsDDom

Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
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I actually play harder and more intense now, more edge play even, than when I was younger. I will say it is probably because over time I have learned more and discovered "new(er)" things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

Do you think as you get older that your intensity level lessens? Do you play as hard as when you were younger, do you whip as hard, as long, do you step as hard, etc.
I am just wondering if this lifestyle we have is for the young or the young at heart...

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... live Life honestly ...

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Post #: 18

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