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Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 8:49:23 AM   
Leoane


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline 		i have always found myself to be submissive in my life and i want someone to have complete control over myself and actions, i just need help on how i should act and phrase things i tend to be a very outspoke person and i don't bite my tongue much but i want to please my master and I'm just not sure if i can please him I'm scared to disappoint him and i just want to know how i should carry myself i have looked all over the web and i just keep finding the same things and they aren't very helpful. anything you have to say would be useful to me me thanks :)
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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 8:56:48 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		ask him???? There is no specific and one true way. It's up to the couple involved.

Personally in my relationship it's simple.....be respectful and obey. That means no talking back, no making excuses, no yelling, cursing, no back talk and no telling him what I want. Instead ask in a polite manner.

How do you act with others? If at your age you haven't learned how to courteous and polite then maybe it's time to figure that out and why you feel a need to not be polite and courteous to people.



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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 9:45:35 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		"Looking all over the web" is the last thing I would do. As littlewonder said, asking him is the only real answer.

However, just from my own experience, I would add: Being outspoken and not biting your tongue doesn't make you a bad submissive. Scroll through a couple threads here and you'll be amazed at the bossy bitches calling themselves slaves and subs - me included Being opinionated and vocal about it doesn't mean you can't submit and submit well to someone you choose to. It's utterly different than just being subservient toward everyone you encounter. You can never submit to anything anyone else wants and still do a terrific job of pleasing the one you choose to submit to. It doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. Hey, you may just be fortunate enough to submit to a man who actually enjoys your outspoken ways. I sure found one
luci

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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 10:32:06 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
Being opinionated and vocal about it doesn't mean you can't submit and submit well to someone you choose to.
Master tells me frequently that he loves that I'm outspoken and opinionated.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 10:34:29 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

"Looking all over the web" is the last thing I would do. As littlewonder said, asking him is the only real answer.

However, just from my own experience, I would add: Being outspoken and not biting your tongue doesn't make you a bad submissive. Scroll through a couple threads here and you'll be amazed at the bossy bitches calling themselves slaves and subs - me included Being opinionated and vocal about it doesn't mean you can't submit and submit well to someone you choose to. It's utterly different than just being subservient toward everyone you encounter. You can never submit to anything anyone else wants and still do a terrific job of pleasing the one you choose to submit to. It doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. Hey, you may just be fortunate enough to submit to a man who actually enjoys your outspoken ways. I sure found one
luci


Agreed. My (ex- sort of) Dominant would not want me to be anyone but the sarcastic, mouthy "silly bitch" that I am. He enjoys it, it's entertaining and fun for us, and I do know, when it reaches a certain point or I've gotten that look, to shut the fuck up.

Being a good submissive doesn't necessarily mean constantly biting your tongue. It could...that's where it would be between you and he to work out. But it doesn't necessarily have to.

(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 10:37:49 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You are to be submissive TO HIM.  In other words, submit in the way HE wants.

For example, there's tons of protocol out there on serving tea properly.  I don't drink tea, and I'm low protocol, so any study done along those lines would be wasted with me.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 11:33:35 AM   
DecadentDesire


Posts: 234
Joined: 6/18/2011
Status: offline
Sure, I would love to help.

Stop trying to act or talk a certain way. I know this is a worn out one-liner, but be yourself!

Submission is something internal, part of your psyche and something that is expressed just like any other internal feeling. When you meet someone who stirs up that part of you, you will naturally want to express it and follow his/her lead.

Focusing too much on external behavior is what leads people to doubt their own orientation, feel like they are not living up to some (often lofty) ideal of what a submissive or slave is, and become insecure.

Once you realize it's all about expressing something inside of you and not "acting a certain way all the time", everything will get a lot easier.


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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 11:51:07 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leoane
i want to please my master and I'm just not sure if i can please him I'm scared to disappoint him and i just want to know how i should carry myself.


Whether you are a submissive, a dominant, a switch, or a vegetarian in a rock and roll choir,
there is no behavior one can mimic in order to be in the good graces of ones partner.
While it may suffice in the short term, the end result is you will lose yourself in playing that role.

Your master has found something of interest in you because of who you are, not in
how you pretend to be. I would suggest you continue carrying yourself the way you currently are
until he finds issue with it. Then the 2 of you can discuss any needed adjustments in your behavior.



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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 11:56:12 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		just chiming in to repeat as the others have said -- be yourself.
if your Master wants to change something, i imagine he'll tell you. if he thinks you smart off too much and he doesn't like it, he'll say so. most people will let you know if you're disappointing them; Masters are no different.
do you have an idea of submission as reflected by particular etiquette, social graces, etc? i know a lot of people like the 1950s housewife motif because of those things. is your Master interested in that kind of behavior?

it's never a bad thing to be polite and considerate. manners are totally worthwhile, but that really has nothing to do with submission. that's just about being a good person, whatever your orientation.
so just be the person you want to be; being yourself is the #1 best way to attract someone who's a good fit for you, and if you already have someone, obviously that person saw something in you that s/he liked, right? don't stress out over copying someone else's behavior, or fitting yourself to an ideal that may not be what you and particularly your Master (since you're trying to do this to please him) even want.


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"Obey your Master." Metallica


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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 2:28:42 PM   
MMasterMM


Posts: 27
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		just keep it simple
use your manors to the extreme(Google is full of them)
and if you need it even simpler "Deference"

you could look up ' Victorian servant rules '
and 'Taken in hand '

-careful what you wish
MMM







< Message edited by MMasterMM -- 8/14/2011 2:38:21 PM >

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 3:31:54 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leoane

i have always found myself to be submissive in my life and i want someone to have complete control over myself and actions, i just need help on how i should act and phrase things i tend to be a very outspoke person and i don't bite my tongue much but i want to please my master and I'm just not sure if i can please him I'm scared to disappoint him and i just want to know how i should carry myself i have looked all over the web and i just keep finding the same things and they aren't very helpful. anything you have to say would be useful to me me thanks :)


Carry yourself just as you would if you had no-one.

All this disappointing stuff is great but the only person you need to worry about is the one you look at when you scrub your teeth. You can't disappoint anyone that knows you.

If you're not sure if you can please him, then you're buggered babe. You may have chosen too hastily. S'all about pleasing each other...really, it is.

agirl












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See how easy it can be?

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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 3:40:24 PM   
TheShrew


Posts: 519
Joined: 2/15/2009
From: The state I live in? Confusion.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leoane
i just need help on how i should act


Don't "act" .. just "be."
Saying "I want someone to".. leads me to believe you are on the hunt and want to be ready when you find a dom/me.
But, because you said "act", I encourage you to devote a little time in discovering what it means "to be submissive" and not "how to be submissive." I believe this is a task best performed prior to acquiring a dom/me. After all, if you are unsure of how to conduct yourself, what are you really bringing to the table? What type of dominant are you going to attract? Someone with r/t BDSM knowledge, control of themselves and their life with the ability to control you .. or someone displaced from a yahoo chat-room with a pocket full of velcro collars?

Seek out general information to study and make yourself knowledgeable about domination and submission. Critique yourself honestly when assessing for positive/negative attributes then work to develop positive habits and shed negative habits. You do not need to belong to someone to work on yourself, and it really should be your first step. Once you gain knowledge the rest will come a little easier. And when you find someone, "your" dom/me will tweak you for their personal preferences. The key to being yourself.. is to first discover yourself. Best of luck.




< Message edited by TheShrew -- 8/14/2011 3:41:52 PM >

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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/14/2011 10:39:45 PM   
darkbrownmrchip


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/28/2011
Status: offline 		there one's that want to be submissive then there those who act submissive(the meaning is obeying,giving of one ,all that u have rite) then u have a slave he or she obey for the fear of being punish rite but what i want to know when one say that they are a slave or submissive are they weather it is to act out a lust that either like to do so when a slave say there are or a submissive say they the are looking for a master or Dom are they really???are they Full of shit just do not know how to keep it real

(in reply to TheShrew)
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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/15/2011 12:38:39 AM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkbrownmrchip

there one's that want to be submissive then there those who act submissive(the meaning is obeying,giving of one ,all that u have rite) then u have a slave he or she obey for the fear of being punish rite but what i want to know when one say that they are a slave or submissive are they weather it is to act out a lust that either like to do so when a slave say there are or a submissive say they the are looking for a master or Dom are they really???are they Full of shit just do not know how to keep it real


What?
okay so Mary wants to be submissive
Frank acts submissive
and poor slave Sally is worried sick she will be beat so she submits.
But what you really want to know is that even though they all say they are looking for a master of a dominant, are they actually looking?

I would say if they are looking, they are looking. They might not be looking for you though.
oh and just so you know
the blue shrew once asked who i was and i said that i am what i do .... but im not afraid i will get punished if im not.

(in reply to darkbrownmrchip)
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RE: Proper submissive/ slave behavior - 8/15/2011 7:10:37 AM   
stoni23


Posts: 178
Joined: 1/14/2010
Status: offline 		darkbrownmrchip: What about slaves that don't have to act like slaves because they are naturally slaves? I don't do as I'm told because I fear punishment, I do as I'm told because it makes me happy to satisfy whomever I'm serving. And if punishment is coming my way, I do not fear it; I embrace it.

OP: As many are saying, just be yourself. If you find yourself changing naturally under someone's tutelage, then great! But don't try to act like you are something that you are not, because then you are not only lying to yourself, but to your partner as well. If your partner does not like how you speak, or cannot handle you for who you are, then you are more then likely not a good match for each other.

_____________________________

Aren't we all just a little bit fake and a lot real?

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