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RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 6:40:36 AM

Oberonrex

Posts: 164
Joined: 3/31/2005
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There are probably as many reasons as there are people, but over the years I've noticed a couple of things. The first is the Big Name Dominant/Submissive syndrome. This is similar to the Big Name Fan syndrom in science fiction fandom, where the person wants/needs to be ego stroked, a center of attention, and courted as a power. The second is the Walter Mitty (yes, I know, not the proper use of the term) type where this is all a fantasy, an online persona that is an escape from reality.

While the BND/S can be amusing or annoying depending on circumstances, the latter can be a problem. They can poison the well, cause those that approach them all manner of hurt and harm on an emotional level, and spread a lot of misinformation. The scariest ones are those who lie about experience and such, convinced that if they have a real live playtoy all will work out okay, never mind that they have not read up, attended any classes or workshops, or otherwise have the faintest bit of real knowledge about using whip, cane, flogger, electrical, etc. You tend to hear horror stories about what happens, or read about it in the papers...

No good answers, just a couple of observations. One final one is that I have noticed that those that lie or embellish a lot tend not to get involved with any of the local community.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 41

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 6:41:14 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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....Yes, all those reasons and more.......I tell fibs, I am not always honest.......I fib for many reasons...frankly, sometimes it isn't nice, helpful or kind to be truthful. Life runs smoothly because we fib , we say * Nice to meet you* when it isn't nice at all....lol.

Fibbing is just an oil that smooths the running of many cogs in life........it's personal choice which cogs we think need oiling.

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Post #: 42

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 6:56:33 AM

xxmstrchasxx

Posts: 423
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

I disagree with the statement made that there are just as many liars offline as online. Online the people can say they are a sub or Dom and you have no way of knowing the truth until they post something stupid. Offline, you would know the truth for sure once you met them.

Have you ever been in a chat room and the people call themselves a Dom and then come in and tell a sub to serve them? Well, we all know right off they are a wanna-be otherwise they would know that not every sub serves any Dom that just happens to come along. The person who says he is a Dom online can hide behind his screen name and never be held accountable for his actions where in real life he would be.

I have also seen wanna-be subs come in a chat room and do the same. Come in and say they will serve anyone and that they have no limits. I have never met a sub in real life that has no limits at all. My sub is a pain slut but she still has limits. Again, the wanna-be sub can hide behind her screen name and no nothing about the lifestyle where in real life you would know once you met her/him.

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Post #: 43

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 7:03:00 AM

mastersayed

Posts: 119
Joined: 3/21/2006
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simple: because they are weak and insecure in the real world so they make themselves feel better in the virtual world. dont let it get to you just ignore any liar you find and hopefully one day the internet will be free of them. I theorize that they exist because the internet is young and people dont know how to use it seriously and properly yet, but soon (I hope) people will start taking it seriously as a valuable means of communication.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 44

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 7:22:00 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

....Yes, all those reasons and more.......I tell fibs, I am not always honest.......I fib for many reasons...frankly, sometimes it isn't nice, helpful or kind to be truthful. Life runs smoothly because we fib , we say * Nice to meet you* when it isn't nice at all....lol.

Fibbing is just an oil that smooths the running of many cogs in life........it's personal choice which cogs we think need oiling.

I occasionally do the same, agirl. I do believe that you can tell a person most anything though, without being rude, and I wonder if our world wouldn't be better with more honesty.

In fact, don't lie to me to make me feel better lol. Don't be rude or hateful, but don't lie.

< Message edited by Level -- 5/20/2006 7:29:41 AM >

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 45

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 7:38:34 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxmstrchasxx

I disagree with the statement made that there are just as many liars offline as online. Online the people can say they are a sub or Dom and you have no way of knowing the truth until they post something stupid. Offline, you would know the truth for sure once you met them.

Have you ever been in a chat room and the people call themselves a Dom and then come in and tell a sub to serve them? Well, we all know right off they are a wanna-be otherwise they would know that not every sub serves any Dom that just happens to come along. The person who says he is a Dom online can hide behind his screen name and never be held accountable for his actions where in real life he would be.

I have also seen wanna-be subs come in a chat room and do the same. Come in and say they will serve anyone and that they have no limits. I have never met a sub in real life that has no limits at all. My sub is a pain slut but she still has limits. Again, the wanna-be sub can hide behind her screen name and no nothing about the lifestyle where in real life you would know once you met her/him.

Then you haven't had the misfortune of meeting the people I have, male or female. I've been lied to a lot, and I bet you have been too. Maybe the difference is knowing when you've been lied to.

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(in reply to xxmstrchasxx)

Post #: 46

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 7:53:14 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1

I have read some of the posts on here...I have found quite a few very insightful people...so I have a question as stated in my post...Why do you think people lie online????...are they liars in their day to day lives...or does a keyboard and hiding behind a monitor somehow transform them into "Super Liar"....
Who knows I might get lucky and have a few liars tell me their motivation....
Thanks

Because they can.

Because they see all of this as "not real" and therefore believe the lies aren't real.

Because they are used to lying.

Because they use online as a fantasy and part of the fantasy is being someone else.

So many reasons that will be unlikely to help them ever make any meatlife interactions beyond a very short period of time. But maybe they don't want anything more.

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(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 47

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 7:55:29 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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An interesting question---I just discussed a smililar topic with someone at work as it relates to "cheaters"---and My response is yes--liars have always lied--big or small and will continue to do so until caught, then they go to jail or move on to the next victim--one would think the internet would allow or enable "veiled" honesty but instead is has encouraged the opposite.

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Post #: 48

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 8:05:06 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

....Yes, all those reasons and more.......I tell fibs, I am not always honest.......I fib for many reasons...frankly, sometimes it isn't nice, helpful or kind to be truthful. Life runs smoothly because we fib , we say * Nice to meet you* when it isn't nice at all....lol.

Fibbing is just an oil that smooths the running of many cogs in life........it's personal choice which cogs we think need oiling.

I occasionally do the same, agirl. I do believe that you can tell a person most anything though, without being rude, and I wonder if our world wouldn't be better with more honesty.

In fact, don't lie to me to make me feel better lol. Don't be rude or hateful, but don't lie.

I agree, Level, and in the majority of my dealings in life I choose not to fib and there's little need to, as you say , it's possible to say most things without doing so..... but there are times when it's a deliberate choice to do so. I'm neither ashamed nor bothered......until I've walked a mile or two in someone else's shoes, I won't judge them for their reasons for fibbing , either.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 49

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 8:13:52 AM

givemyall

Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1

I have read some of the posts on here...I have found quite a few very insightful people...so I have a question as stated in my post...Why do you think people lie online????...are they liars in their day to day lives...or does a keyboard and hiding behind a monitor somehow transform them into "Super Liar"....
Who knows I might get lucky and have a few liars tell me their motivation....
Thanks

They lie online for the same reasons they think its ok to ask if you take it up the arse in the second line of conversation.... its not real life, there isnt any comeback for what they say and nobody has received a smack in the mouth off a computer screen yet.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 50

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 8:34:03 AM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1

I have read some of the posts on here...I have found quite a few very insightful people...so I have a question as stated in my post...Why do you think people lie online????...are they liars in their day to day lives...or does a keyboard and hiding behind a monitor somehow transform them into "Super Liar"....
Who knows I might get lucky and have a few liars tell me their motivation....
Thanks

Hi, erudite,

I think that some people in this medium lie about themselves for a variety of reasons. One of those might be that they consider online interaction to be fantasy role-playing and nothing more. Others may have low self-esteem and are hiding behind a screen. And some are even pathological, and lie to themselves and others in daily life. There are also those who are trapped in unhappy relationships and try to "live out" their fantasies online because they believe it will relieve some of the stress and depression of having to live the lie.

In any event, the lie will usually be exposed, but usually not before they lier has caused someone harm by his or her actions.

Be well.

-iliv2servHer

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 51

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 8:37:22 AM

Moloch

Posts: 1090
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

*sarcasm*
I lie because it makes my e-penis bigger
*sarcasm*

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Post #: 52

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 8:39:41 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

My theory would be for the same reason a dog licks himself....

BINGO!!!!
That is it in a nutshell.

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Post #: 53

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 9:14:42 AM

zumala

Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

I think y'all have pretty much covered most of the possible reasons. Someone mentioned that it's a lie that no one uses their legal name on here. I don't know about that. It says 'login' not 'name' in there. So I figure we can be called by whatever 'login' we want. That and it would be stupidity itself to put your full legal name up where anyone anywhere can see it. That would just be pie in the sky for stalkers who wanted to look you up in the yellow pages.

zuma

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 54

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 9:24:24 AM

eroticangel

Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline

i think they lie because they can also....as stated they don't seem to think the people on the other side of the keyboard are real. i think that this is the place that i can be mist honest with myself and others but obviously all don't see it that way at all

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 55

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 9:26:16 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moloch

*sarcasm*
I lie because it makes my e-penis bigger
*sarcasm*

LMFAO

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Moloch)

Post #: 56

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 9:54:25 AM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
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People lie online for the same reasons they lie offline. They feel insecure or inadequate enough about something or some part of themselves that they do not trust that the reality will be acceptable to others. I say they. Everyone lies, to some degree or another, at some point.. withholding information, fudging a few 'minor' details, not mentioning something to someone 'for their own sake'.

I remember once being totally taken aback by a man who, as well as I knew him, had nothing to lie about. He is 'the ultimate' package. Intelligent, charming, unbelievably good looking, charismatic, kind... I can go on and on. He shaved 5 years off his profile here. His reasoning was that he looks at least 5 years younger, and wants younger women to reply to him, and was not getting 'appropriate' responses to his ad. I was totally shocked. This man was brutally honest in every way that I knew him. So for him to do this, and not really even consciously allow himself to recognize it as lying... was a shock to me.

People lie even when they really do not need to.. I can only assume it has something to do with perceived 'lacks' within themselves, even if they are not lacking in anyone else's eyes.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 57

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 12:25:31 PM

moon69

Posts: 59
Joined: 4/16/2006
Status: offline

I think the overall reason is that it is easier because of the anonymity that is possible.
They are able to take on the persona of their desires and fantasies without fear or worry of scrutiny by those in their daily lives.
I know that I am very honest and open....to the point that some have discovered my interests and fetishes... have indeed taken advantage of the information, and applied a different outlook on what they perceive of me. At times a total disassociation of a relationship from the previous one(before they have discovered it). But that has been my experience, and one that has actually allowed me not to have those worries anymore......
Not all are as accepting or open with handling the information... but so be it.
Others however are yes ...liars in their daily lives as well, ill gather, if they do so online...
There are many reasons and excuses for this... but all in all.... it doesnt just happen online... and sometimes discretion overrides what someone is actually willing to disclose or share.

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Post #: 58

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 2:05:05 PM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have been perplexed by this myself. I will say there have been a couple of ocassions in which people I had been friendly with online turned out not to be what they seemed to be, or they outright lied. One of these instances was a man I knew from political chat that lied about his age, job, and marital status.... all of which we discovered when he died because his obit spelled this out. There was no motive I could determine for these lies. I came to the conclusion that his real life was not exciting enough, and he could be an architect, 38, and unmarried online. That is a sad commentary to me, that your real life is so unsatisfying you have to make up a new one. I really liked this person, had talked to him often over a couple of years, and had even exchanged many news links and such. I was sad when I learned he died, and when I found his obit I became even more saddened. The real "him" would have been just as valuable as the make believe "him".

I suppose there are as many motives for lying as there are people and lies. I have always thought people who live lies to be suffering spiritually (I know not everyone believes in those concepts, but this is my post...smiles). I tend to try to feel pity for them rather than condemn them. Also, I have told untruths myself, maybe not over the internet, but I have spoken things that were untrue... and anyone that claims differently is lying to themselves and just plain full of s***. I try to live my life without lies, because I honor myself and respect myself too much to want to be inauthentic for any reason. I find the worse lies are the ones we tell ourselves and then we believe them.. but that is just me and I could be wrong

What you said makes me think....his marriage of 12 years recently broke up...before he was married...he was popular...with woman...or so he said...so maybe he is trying to relive his youth aka happier days through the internet....

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 59

RE: Why Do People Lie Online - 5/20/2006 2:11:34 PM

angel24x7

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/5/2006
Status: offline

like SisJanet...says she is a international flight attendant from California, then wanted us to send her $1000.00 for a airline ticket to fly here from Nigeria...
Try again Janet...lol

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Post #: 60

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