Honesty

Honesty (Full Version)

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cuddleheart50 -> Honesty (5/19/2006 8:42:00 PM)
I have been talking with a Dom for about 2 weeks now, and we seemed to be getting along really well. He told me all about his life, his experiences, his likes, dislikes, we covered as much as you can in 2 weeks talking non stop. And then tonight, he tells me,...Oh by the way, I'm married......I was shocked! I know, that I could have asked him in all of our discussions, but I assumed that if your married, thats one of the things you tell up front. I'm heartbroken,,,,Again! Why wouldnt he say that upfront? Sorry everyone, but I'm so upset.

JohnWarren -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 8:44:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50 I have been talking with a Dom for about 2 weeks now, and we seemed to be getting along really well. He told me all about his life, his experiences, his likes, dislikes, we covered as much as you can in 2 weeks talking non stop. And then tonight, he tells me,...Oh by the way, I'm married......I was shocked! I know, that I could have asked him in all of our discussions, but I assumed that if your married, thats one of the things you tell up front. I'm heartbroken,,,,Again! Why wouldnt he say that upfront? Sorry everyone, but I'm so upset. As my friend Dossie Easton likes to put it "Another fucking opportunity for growth." [sad smile] Now you have another question you know you should ask upfront.

slaverosebeauty -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 8:57:09 PM)
{{hugs}} Another troll hiding from thier spouse. Common thing. I have heard from married men, they disgust me to no end and I do NOT hold back my feelings when I find out, its disgusting. He is hding from his spouse so that says a lot, she may not be into this or he is afraid of losing her if she found out, I do NOT feel for these cheaters, but I feel for you cuddleheart. {{more hugs}} Write that loser off as a loser, a cheat and a troll, and be glad you found out now rather than later when you were more emotinally involved.

OTKkindaGirl -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 9:00:27 PM)
cuddleheart, i am soo sorry that this has happened to you.... i love reading your posts and you are one of the last people that i would have wanted this to happen to. please don't let it make you bitter and like John says, let it be a lesson learned. i know i am not lessening your pain any, but if i could take away the pain for you, i would. vulnerability is a harsh reality to be slapped by.

LadyHugs -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 9:03:12 PM)
Dear cuddleheart50, I am so sorry to hear you have been disappointed once again. Perhaps the first question you need to ask is "Are you married?" And, ask if his wife is married. Reason why I add this, some men say they aren't married but, their wife is. Then ask if they are separated. They are still married and they may go back. And, they might go through with the divorce. Then ask if they have a girlfriend or seeing anybody. Then--maybe-- Again, I am sorry to hear about your troubles sweet lady. {{Comfort hugs}} Respectfully submitted, Lady Hugs

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 9:06:34 PM)
Thank you for your responses, it does make me feel better to know that I do have friends here. It is a lesson learned, and I won't forget it. I will get over this in time, I have before and I will again. Its just hurts when your lied too, when you have poured out your heart and soul to someone.

texasbutterfly -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 9:10:41 PM)
oh, honey, i am so sorry you have had this happen to you. you have received some great advice. i just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and i hope you will continue to grow and search. if you need to talk or vent, feel free to contact me.

slavejali -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 9:33:35 PM)
Cuddleheart..I'm sorry...next time, say something like this nonchalantly in your first few sentences... I think there is nothing wrong with married guys finding out they are dom and finding a submissive, I feel so sorry for the poor guys stuck with a vanilla partner.... Now I know this is a little white lie...but... what it will do is open the person up to telling the truth...once he says..hey kewl..im married...you say "Asshole..fuck off"

preciousgem -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 9:43:42 PM)
cuddleheart i am sorry that this happened to you. it is a really bad thing when people cant be upfront and honset about who and what they want. just know that you are a better person then them cause you are open and honest with people. it will come back and bite them in the butt some day.

pissdoll -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 10:01:24 PM)
i was talking to a man in pm in chat tonight. we had traded a few emails on here back and forth. all of a sudden he said: "I have to feed my boy." "How old is your boy?" "10 months." (10 freakin months?????) "Awww, cute! Are you married to his mom?" (i already know the answer) "Yes." "Have fun!" (because i'm never responding to you again!!!!!!!) "It isn't working out." (yeah buddy, obviously. because you have an INFANT and you're messing around on collarme!!!!)

Phoenixandnika -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 10:50:27 PM)
I typically ask "Are you married or otherwise occupied?" or "Do you have a wife, g/f, slave, or dog hiding in your closet?" I have grown to ask this every time someone contacts me about the possiblity of taking my collar. I figure at this point if they lie it is a flat out lie but it also keeps them from lying by omission.

juliaoceania -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 11:07:25 PM)
Of course he had to hook you into liking him before he 'fessed up, at least he finally did 'fess up. Two weeks of your life and you learned a VALUABLE lesson... ask about marital status before you get all starry eyed, even better yet, get a home phone before you emotionally invest yourself. I have been there too, because I assume everyone has the same moral compass as I do, and it led to a valuable lesson. I was blessed it didnt go further than it did. I would just concentrate on the lesson he taught you, and realize that it could have been a much more costly one...smiles. I am glad he did tell the truth FINALLY!

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Honesty (5/19/2006 11:33:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren As my friend Dossie Easton likes to put it "Another fucking opportunity for growth." Yes, that must be it, a phucking opportunity, lol. cuddleheart50 I'm sorry this happened to you. This is the reason my profile now reads: quote: I seek a SINGLE (meaning No wife, girlfriend or fuck buddy) to try and avoid that kind of disillusionment again. I have a great deal of respect for people who are married/paired up, and honestly represent themselves looking for additional playmates/lovers or live in members... M

champagnewishes -> RE: Honesty (5/20/2006 12:09:15 AM)
I'm so sorry cuddleheart. Some people just stink and it sucks that the nice ones such as yourself end up paying the price.

shivvy -> RE: Honesty (5/20/2006 12:11:50 AM)
Hi ya cuddleheart. you don't know me, but i've seen some of your posts around, and like everybody else here, i just wanted to say how sorry i woz you've been hurt. When me and my Master first met, He woz wearing a wedding ring, and i asked Him if He woz married, and He said no, seperated. i wasn't in a position to become a 24/7 slave, so i could only serve Him once or twice a week, and it took me about 3 months to find out He woz still very much married, with 2 kidz (and another on the way). - It took me a while to get my head round it, but we stayed together for 18 months. He woz in the army, and He had to move to someplace in Somerset (from Kent), and when He went, His wife and kidz went with Him, and i woz left here. That woz December 2003, and i still miss Him even now[:(]. i dunno if there's a moral here, or wot there is to learn from it. Because of my personal circumstances, vanilla is just so much easier at the minute, but even then i find it really hard to form proper, lasting relationships. i've neva had a problem finding a bloke, but keeping one and staying happy has always seemed to elude me. But i'm with somebody now, and have been 7 weeks tomorrow[:D], and at the minute, i'm really very happy. So please don't give up hunny. you seem really really lovely, with an awful lot of luv to offer, and i'm sure you'll find happiness soon. i wish you all the luck in the world hun. Take care, Luv, shiv xx

Level -> RE: Honesty (5/20/2006 3:27:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50 I have been talking with a Dom for about 2 weeks now, and we seemed to be getting along really well. He told me all about his life, his experiences, his likes, dislikes, we covered as much as you can in 2 weeks talking non stop. And then tonight, he tells me,...Oh by the way, I'm married......I was shocked! I know, that I could have asked him in all of our discussions, but I assumed that if your married, thats one of the things you tell up front. I'm heartbroken,,,,Again! Why wouldnt he say that upfront? Sorry everyone, but I'm so upset. He certainly should have said it upfront-- he should have said it loud and clear on the first contact.

MissyRane -> RE: Honesty (5/20/2006 3:43:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50 I have been talking with a Dom for about 2 weeks now, and we seemed to be getting along really well. He told me all about his life, his experiences, his likes, dislikes, we covered as much as you can in 2 weeks talking non stop. And then tonight, he tells me,...Oh by the way, I'm married......I was shocked! I know, that I could have asked him in all of our discussions, but I assumed that if your married, thats one of the things you tell up front. I'm heartbroken,,,,Again! Why wouldnt he say that upfront? Sorry everyone, but I'm so upset. He certainly should have said it upfront-- he should have said it loud and clear on the first contact. Or if he has a profile..state it in the profile![:@]

Level -> RE: Honesty (5/20/2006 3:55:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissyRane Or if he has a profile..state it in the profile![:@] Yes, absolutely!

talibahh -> RE: Honesty (5/20/2006 4:25:50 AM)
sorry to hear about your disappointment cuddleheart... i too have been burned and hurt (not quite the same circumstances) and although it is a lesson well learned, and i used my mistake(s) to learn and grow, it doesn't help with the pain and betrayal you are feeling now... hugs cuddles... you have many friends here... hope i can be one of them... tali

twicehappy -> RE: Honesty (5/20/2006 4:57:28 AM)
After an experience or two like yours "are you married" became my first question. Closely followed by "if you are does your wife know and can i speak to her". I actually went to meet a guy who forgot to take off his wedding band. I really did not mind married if the wife was a willing partner, obviously as i am owned by a married Dom/Domme couple.

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