To stay or go? (Full Version)

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surefire -> To stay or go? (8/14/2011 3:23:28 PM)

Well I met the man I am under consideration to about 7 months ago.  We hit if off from jump street.  We became friends then decided I needed some serious help with the situations I was getting in with play partners.  I knew from the begining he was attracted to me but we had a signed contract and there were rules.  Well he broke them and we became physically and emotionally involved.  He said he had never had this happen before.  He has always treated me with kid gloves too.  I went under his consideration and it is coming up on time to make a decision.  Well he has a owned and collared service slave.  Put another girl under consideration right after me which I did not know about.  Told me at one point that what goes on on between him and each of his girls is private.  I don't think that is right if this a family.  No we are not poly but if we were it wouldn't bother me a bit.  What gets me is what if he is saying the same shit to this other girl.  I care and always want him in my world one way or another but should I stay or go.



DarkSteven -> RE: To stay or go? (8/14/2011 3:48:46 PM)

If you truly want him in your world no matter what, you should stay.  If you have any self respect, you should go.




TheShrew -> RE: To stay or go? (8/14/2011 3:58:47 PM)

ORIGINAL: surefire

Told me at one point that what goes on on between him and each of his girls is private
Not only has he told you he will have other girls, he's also told you you're not privvy to the details. This is him laying it on the line, and being honest with you.

I don't think that is right. 
Tell him.

if this a family  -- [No we are not poly]
Then it's not a family.

No we are not poly but if we were it wouldn't bother me a bit.  
I'm finding this hard to believe.

What gets me is what if he is saying the same shit to this other girl.
What he says to the other girl is not your concern, because you are not in a poly or exclusive relationship with him. You should not be privvy to anything involving her, because you aren't in any type of relationship with her.

I care and always want him in my world one way or another but
Define "one way or another." {If not as D/s, then maybe as friends?}

should I stay or go.
Can you live with it, or not?



ashjor911 -> RE: To stay or go? (8/14/2011 4:13:17 PM)

maybe they are saying the truth here,
I can not help you with any advice
perhaps you should ask a felow sub/slave,


Welcome To CM



windchymes -> RE: To stay or go? (8/14/2011 4:16:00 PM)

If you have any sense at all you'll go, but I have a feeling you'll stay with him because you think you can't do any better, and we'll be hearing more from you about how unfulfilling the situation is, how unfairly he's treating you and the other girls in his little frenzied boinkfest, how unhappy you are, and how you are still wondering if you should stay or go.

Stay tuned.



OohAahMrs -> RE: To stay or go? (8/15/2011 7:39:39 AM)

Hey sf, sounds like this guy has got it sorted, three babes in tow and on the look out for more! At least you get one third of his time, is'nt that enough? Maybe you should be on the look out for a couple more guys? Or you could always go back to jump street!



MistressDarkArt -> RE: To stay or go? (8/16/2011 12:46:02 AM)

For God's sake, use barriers. His promiscuity is putting all of you at risk.

(PS: I'd go.)



peppermint -> RE: To stay or go? (8/16/2011 4:40:18 AM)

I read profile.  I read what OP said here.  Sounds like two different people.  



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: To stay or go? (8/16/2011 4:54:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I read profile.  I read what OP said here.  Sounds like two different people.  


Doesn't it though?

The man broke his own rules, doesn't give you the full picture, and has you under consideration. Sounds like a player to me.

I find this a highly contradictory statement: No we are not poly but if we were it wouldn't bother me a bit.  What gets me is what if he is saying the same shit to this other girl.

You don't know where you stand with this man, and it seems you want more emotionally than he is willing to actually give.

Try this: Tell him you can be friends only unless and until he is honest with you. Then stick to it. It will be among the hardest things you ever do in your life, but will do wonderful things for your sense of self worth.







tiggerspoohbear -> RE: To stay or go? (8/16/2011 12:01:29 PM)

Welcome to the boards.  Uhhh, yeah, total disconnect on what you've got written in your profile and what you have here.  You're either willing to put up with what he's offering you, or you're not.  We can't tell you what to do, you have to decide that for yourself.  Personally?  I'd send him packing for my own peace of mind.  But that's just me, I'm not into poly.  



LadyPact -> RE: To stay or go? (8/16/2011 12:17:17 PM)

Welcome to the forums.

I didn't read your profile, so I'm not going to go into whatever differences there might be between there and here.  I'm just going to take your post at face value.

I do happen to be poly.  I have a person collared to Me.  In doing so, part of the arrangement that we have is that I will have other subs and play partners as I see fit.  It's not My duty to report to him everything that ever happens between other individuals and Myself.  My responsibility in this area is to ensure his health should I take on anyone and include fluid transfers that could have potential risks.  That's it.  I'm not required to go back to him and say that sub x and I did a, b, and c. 

Take a moment and think about your post.  If your dynamic between yourself and the person who has you under consideration is between the two of you, would you really want him going back to the other girl to discuss all of the intimate details of *your* time together?  Or, are some things private, just between the two of you?  Would you really want all of your talks together to be up for public consumption with all of the other people he is involved with?  If you want privacy for your time, you have to extend that same privacy to others.

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: To stay or go? (8/16/2011 5:07:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt


Try this: Tell him you can be friends only unless and until he is honest with you.




To me, a dishonest person doesn't qualify for 'friend' material either. OP, grow some spine. Raise middle finger, thus simplifying communication to him. Buh-bye. If you're wasting energy on this dumbass, you're not free for the person who will respect you and let you know your needs are important to him.



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