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Stood up, on-line?? - 5/19/2006 9:29:29 PM

shyfem

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

Good Evening all,

I have been speaking with an intriguing Dom, well, emailing actually. His emails are very well put together and well thought out. He is not overtly sexual at all which actually makes me think he might want more.

Problem:

He emailed me today (yesterday now as it is after midnight here in FL) and said that he wanted to chat and would be on-line between 11-11:30. I have been online since 11pm. Nothing.
I wouldn't be posting this if it had not happened once before for an on-line meet. Again that one was not specific on timing either.

However, I am starting to feel like an ass for just sitting here, waiting.....

Any thoughts? Looking for insight from subbies of course, but mainly looking for the male Dom responses, like to know what makes you guys tick anyways

~shy

< Message edited by shyfem -- 5/19/2006 9:32:10 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/19/2006 9:43:50 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Its happened to me a couple of times. I sit there waiting like a fool, and nothing! I don't do that anymore. I'm sure when you talk to him again, he will have a great excuse for being late or not showing up at all.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to shyfem)

Post #: 2

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/19/2006 9:55:23 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

hahah opps you all ment online, and I am talking real life. grins. I'll say it anyway

cuddle that's why I insist people pick me up at my house, yes I've been said I was stupid to do so endangering myself yada yada yada, but if joe blow don't show up I'm not out somewhere waiting hours for a no show. I also think it's safer cause poeple have seen me leave with my date, know his car what he looks like ecetera, and in a diner somewhere waiting who's gonna notice when one lady goes off with one guy

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 5/19/2006 10:00:17 PM >

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 3

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/19/2006 9:58:36 PM

sweetbbwsub31

Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

i will wait once. Just once. But i will ask what happened. Don't sit around waiting for someone who has no respect for your time.

sub tara

(in reply to shyfem)

Post #: 4

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/19/2006 10:00:11 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

I would suggest to you all, especially cuddle you cutie, that you make it a meet in a very public place with a few friends. Make "No show" plans with your friends for a movie, dinner, or whatever. Make the anticipation of your evening be the plans with your friends and then be pleasantly surprised when and if he/she shows.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 5

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/19/2006 10:12:15 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

Being stood up on line happens to us all.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 6

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/19/2006 11:20:48 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I am assuming he does not have your number, in which case it would be hard for him to contact you in case of an emergency, or his PC is down, or his internet is down. It is fairly easy for him to come up with any kind of excuse. His excuse may be valid, or he could be married for all you know.

If you find him to be interesting I would take an excuse once, but only once. I would also be sure to get a phone number in the not so distant future. If he cant give you one, or only gives you a cell, and the times he can talk are extremely limited.... well lets just say that would give me more red flags.

One more little piece of advice, wait 10 minutes on someone, and then invent something else to do.... At least I would, my time is too valuable to be "on call" for someone I have not even talked to on the phone yet... just my opinion....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to shyfem)

Post #: 7

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 4:50:17 AM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shyfem

Good Evening all,

I have been speaking with an intriguing Dom, well, emailing actually. His emails are very well put together and well thought out. He is not overtly sexual at all which actually makes me think he might want more.

Problem:

He emailed me today (yesterday now as it is after midnight here in FL) and said that he wanted to chat and would be on-line between 11-11:30. I have been online since 11pm. Nothing.
I wouldn't be posting this if it had not happened once before for an on-line meet. Again that one was not specific on timing either.

However, I am starting to feel like an ass for just sitting here, waiting.....

Any thoughts? Looking for insight from subbies of course, but mainly looking for the male Dom responses, like to know what makes you guys tick anyways

~shy

Good evening, shy!

There could be a number of reasons why he didn't show or at least send you a message saying that he couldn't make it (fear, wife or girlfriend took precidence, or just plain lazy and disrespectful).

I don't believe there is any excuse for bad behavior on anyone's part -- regardless of persuasion or gender. In any case, this is a key or red flag regarding his personality.

But at least you didn't have to get all dressed up and drive to a meeting place.

Good luck in the future! :-)

-iluv2servHer

(in reply to shyfem)

Post #: 8

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 5:01:32 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

Although it's been ages since I've made arrangments to "meet" someone on line I use the same sort of guidelines I use if I'm meeting someone in person. If they're within 5 minutes of the meeting time, no biggie. A few minutes late doesn't bother me. Between 5 and 10 minutes late I expect some sort of contact to let me know they're running late and after 20 minutes I leave. If I were just hanging around online surfing, checking email, etc I might wait up to 30 minutes but after that I log out and get on with life. IMO, I wouldn't wait longer than that for someone in a restaurant, for example, why would I waste my time waiting online for them?

I sure hope that when he finally gets in touch with you he doesn't give you some BS about it being a test of your patience/loyalty/etc. That would be a big red flag for me.

(in reply to shyfem)

Post #: 9

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 5:51:00 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

I would suggest to you all, especially cuddle you cutie, that you make it a meet in a very public place with a few friends. Make "No show" plans with your friends for a movie, dinner, or whatever. Make the anticipation of your evening be the plans with your friends and then be pleasantly surprised when and if he/she shows.

Thank you Loki, you always have good advice...and by the way, it sure won't be a "she"....lol....Marsha don't go that way...lol

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 10

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 5:57:06 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

all the "shes" get in MY line please!

unless they more closely resemble "hes"....just not my thing.......

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 5/20/2006 6:00:22 AM >

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 11

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 5:59:00 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I only wish that I was stood up on line. How about being stood up at the airport after flying a couple thousands of miles to meet?
It happened last year and the excuse I got was a text message that said, "you'll never understand, I'm sorry."
Now this was after conversing for several months and exchanging pictures and phone calls too, not just on a whim.
stood up on line phhhhhhtttttttttttttttt Please, do me the favor. winks Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 12

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 6:21:34 AM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

Oh, Kevin... that just sucks! To be out the money for a plane ticket AND feel like an idiot??? I feel for you!

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Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 13

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 6:26:05 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

I only wish that I was stood up on line. How about being stood up at the airport after flying a couple thousands of miles to meet?
It happened last year and the excuse I got was a text message that said, "you'll never understand, I'm sorry."
Now this was after conversing for several months and exchanging pictures and phone calls too, not just on a whim.
stood up on line phhhhhhtttttttttttttttt Please, do me the favor. winks Kevin

Awwwwwwwwwwww THAT would be why I'm so reluctant to do long distance. Also why I really wanna meet within a few weeks, too. It's bad enough to get stood up, but after investing months in a relationship? <shakes head>

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 14

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 6:26:39 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I don't think being stood up online is that big of a deal, online is relaxation time for me....like television, or crafts, etc....are to others. Sometimes....life gets in the way of relaxation. Of course, if it was the norm for that person, i would just move on. I believe if a person wants to speak with another...they will make the opportunity to do so.

In regards to being stood up real time (ouch fastlane!!!!!!). It hasn't really happened to me, and first meets are usually very brief and very public......

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 15

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 6:45:30 AM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline

the only thing in this world that each person has, that only they control, is their word. i don't care what anybody says, people are a reflection of their words. sure sometimes things might happen that influence what you have said but that is where integrity steps up and does what's right to keep your word in tact.

if somebody says they are going to do something but circumstances/life prevents them from being able to, how they approach the matter either beforehand or afterwards goes towards their credibility, character, integrity and yes, even honor. no matter if you are a Dom/me or sub you are the deciding factor on how to procede based on anothers word and action. being stood up online is easy, as life outside of the computer actually does exist for most. being stood up in real time is completely different monster all together and does more damage than online.

i'm with Kevin.....phhhhhhhtttttt

_____________________________

~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 16

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 6:47:41 AM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

Now that's a queue I'd gladly spend some time in

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

all the "shes" get in MY line please!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 17

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 7:52:07 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

you spent an hour hanging around online here on collarme.....oh Gods!!! the horror of it all!

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(in reply to shyfem)

Post #: 18

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 7:57:49 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Kevin, that sucks! I drove to Ohio the other weekend, but we had met already. As far as being stood up online? I agree, why wait? Do whatever and when you think you've given him enough time, log off!

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 19

RE: Stood up, on-line?? - 5/20/2006 8:41:47 AM

shyfem

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

Hello All,

Thanks for the imput, I realize being stood up on line is NOTHING compared to being stood up in person, especially compared to what happened to Fastlane, that was beyond rude.

I was just feeling like an ass waiting, I did make good use of my time doing research on line, etc. So it was not a waste of my time which is why I waited longer than 30mins. I am sure this happens to others and is very minor, it's funny though, I have never been stood up in person, yet!
I assumed meeting on line would be easier.

~shy

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 20

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