RE: Telling another sub

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Telling another sub

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Telling another sub

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Telling another sub - 5/22/2006 1:03:59 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

I agree that the other girl may already know, just based upon her own intuition. Maybe she either doesnt care or simply isnt ready to face it yet. I disagree with the possibility that he is only lying to one girl, however. A person's character is a person's character. People are not honest with *some* people, and dishonest with *others*.

My advice to aruditegirl: Just be happy that you're out of his clutches. And let the other girl find out on her own. You can't save someone else and will most likely end up more frustrated if the other girl doesn't believe you. And....well....the way females are wired, its typical that she will most likely jump all over you for being a liar and defend *his* sorry ass. Chalk it up to experience for yourself. Let the other girl make her own mistakes and learn from them, the same way the rest of us have to. :)

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Telling another sub - 5/22/2006 2:27:20 PM

slaveofbeauty

Posts: 28
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

Also consider how much he knows about you. It sounds like he might know quite a bit. If not, have you given him an email address (or any other type of seemingly innocent information) that could link you to other profiles on other websites that have personal information about you that he could use? It’s extremely easy to slip up and give someone a lot of leverage for potential retaliation. He obviously lacks the moral/ethical foundations that might inhibit someone else from thrashing out in response to you jeopardizing his other fake relationship.

I don't really see that there is any tactful way to warn this person - he will assume you are at fault if this other sub sudenly decides to end things.

Like marieToo said: "Let the other girl make her own mistakes and learn from them, the same way the rest of us have to."

(in reply to marieToo)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Telling another sub - 5/22/2006 3:02:37 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

There's not much to add to the other posters. In my vanilla life, i was warned off a few times and always grateful. No woman ever manipulated me, though i suppose it couldv'e happened. i think i'd err on the side of warning, but that's just me. Beware of retribution from Him.

candystripper

(in reply to slaveofbeauty)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Telling another sub - 5/22/2006 5:18:14 PM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

Thank you everyone for your advice....I had decided that I wasn't going to say anything...I always try to avoid drama and had I told her...it would of created more drama/havoc than I choose to have in my life....was just gonna say a little prayer in hopes she found out before he was able to hurt her.....BUT.....he read this posting.....and told her about me....then (stupid)...told her to read the threads I had posted....I purposly left out details that might lead some of you to know who he was....again...trying to get advice...not create a situation of drama....I then recieved an email from him...blaming me for her breaking it off with him....I was literally lmao.....I went out of my way to protect his amenity...and he thinks....I did this on purpose...talk about someone who needs to learn..."take responsibilty for one's own actions"....so if anyone of you are ever faced with this situation...I offer you this advice...."silence is golden"....and a whole lot easier.....
Peace and positive vibes

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Telling another sub - 5/22/2006 6:15:27 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

Sounds as if you warned her AND told Him; that takes real guts. i am sorry for the drama, but you have "block" and i personally think you were brave.

candystripper

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Telling another sub - 5/25/2006 1:46:16 PM

spectreandnectre

Posts: 401
Joined: 3/20/2006
From: nebraska
Status: offline

personally i would want to know maybe say something but the decision is ultimately theirs

_____________________________

"When I see you, the world stops as if the only purpose in life was for me to please you."

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Telling another sub - 5/25/2006 2:16:48 PM

Kirei

Posts: 146
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Eruditegirl1,
I would ask is this an on-line LDR? or is it a RT relationship? There are many who say they are not poly but collar all these on-line subs. I guess my question would be how does the dominant see it? If he sees on-line as not the same as real time, but you do...then there is a problem and you need to talk. Does poly mean real time to you? Or does on-line count too?

Koneko

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Telling another sub - 5/25/2006 3:31:30 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirei

Eruditegirl1,
I would ask is this an on-line LDR? or is it a RT relationship? There are many who say they are not poly but collar all these on-line subs. I guess my question would be how does the dominant see it? If he sees on-line as not the same as real time, but you do...then there is a problem and you need to talk. Does poly mean real time to you? Or does on-line count too?

Koneko

There is a question for the general discussion forum...lol

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Kirei)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Telling another sub - 5/25/2006 10:53:07 PM

aleshaDreams

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

I personally was talking to one dominant sometime back that forgot to tell me that he already had a live in slave (I suspect that there are some dominants out there that feel because they call themselves Master and/Dominant do not feel they have to disclose information). I came across the information quite by incident on the internet, I did not tell her, I just said goodbye to the dominant. I don't want nor do I need this type of drama in my life, honesty and more honesty is needed to develop trust. Without that a relationship only becomes a relationship of resentment. There are alot of dominants in the sea, perhaps a day will come when we each find that flavour just for us. If you are not acceptant of a situation and can not discuss it and can not come to terms with it, then perhaps it is better chalked up as a learning experience to clarify your wants, needs and desires.

best wishes, ad.

PS [edit] The dominant blamed you for his break up, goosh geesss sounds like a solid person to me. Mommy Johnny did it, not me .......... really mommy it was Johnny's fault. Fair amount of irony in this 'master' to me - where is the responsibility.

< Message edited by aleshaDreams -- 5/25/2006 11:00:05 PM >

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Telling another sub - 5/25/2006 11:53:01 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

I feel your "sisterhood" and need for justice for both of you. It's a tricky place. Been there, done that.

Speak your mind - simply, just facts - then move on. You will have done your "duty" to spare her.

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

Profile

Post #: 30