RE: A long road.. (Full Version)

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LillyBoPeep -> RE: A long road.. (8/23/2011 5:03:24 AM)

maybe you could explain it as looking for a power exchange/romantic/sexual relationship for yourself, with a possible power exchange relationship with him? since you guys are married, and you want this person to live with you, it would be obvious that there would be some interaction with the male half of the couple, and you guys can limit or expand that however you see fit.

it doesn't necessarily read as jealousy to me, but that he may not be as interested in this as she is.
some people don't mind their spouses having additional relationships, even if they themselves don't want them.




DarkSteven -> RE: A long road.. (8/23/2011 5:15:35 AM)

This paragraph in your profile jumped out at me: "You will be provided with a room in our home and everything else you need will be provided for."

You are offering room and board.  In return for what?  Sex with the wife only?  Housekeeping?  Rent?

I'd advise charging rent and encouraging her to work outside the home. Else you might get women that are more interested in the freebie than in being in your family.



DesFIP -> RE: A long road.. (8/23/2011 6:46:10 AM)

You've been together for 20 years. Which means you probably dated for almost fifteen years before you met and fell in love.

Now you're looking for someone to fall in love with both of you overnight. Did you expect to find a spouse overnight when you decided you were ready for a serious relationship? Well, why do you expect it now? Since instead of two people falling in love you now are looking for three to do so, you with the new person, your wife with the new person, and her falling in love with both of you separately plus desiring the relationship you are offering - expect this to take much longer than it did the first time since it is that much more complicated.



kalikshama -> RE: A long road.. (8/23/2011 7:36:22 AM)

quote:

Hmmm....new issue. You state that any sex will be only female to female. So are you searching for a lesbian? Does this mean the girl will belong only to the female half of the couple? Cause I have to tell you, a bi girl is going to want the dick.

It also reads like he is ok if you are with another girl but you are not ok if he is with the same girl you are with. If that is the case, forget poly, because it appears as a jealousy issue, nobody in their right mind is going to walk into that.

Ya, I was confused too. Would the husband do BDSM play but stop short of intercourse?



Lockit -> RE: A long road.. (8/23/2011 7:52:03 AM)

There is no doubt as to why the OP's are having difficulties finding someone. Being clueless about something and calling people in it fake or insincere is about as effective as not explaining what you are seeking and knowing a bit about what you're doing. Kind of hard to put your life in the hands of people that are lacking in any experience other than being swingers, resort to expectations and name calling before they are experienced in any manner that they actually exhibit and think a profile change is going to get the deed done.

Communication is key to most things and many things come after that. If communication isn't clear, guess what?

You can't start out a leader until you have learned a bit about leading. Expecting a live in, dependent upon you is going to take some real good leadership skills, accountability and presentation.



lizi -> RE: A long road.. (8/23/2011 8:33:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

There is no doubt as to why the OP's are having difficulties finding someone. Being clueless about something and calling people in it fake or insincere is about as effective as not explaining what you are seeking and knowing a bit about what you're doing. Kind of hard to put your life in the hands of people that are lacking in any experience other than being swingers, resort to expectations and name calling before they are experienced in any manner that they actually exhibit and think a profile change is going to get the deed done.

Communication is key to most things and many things come after that. If communication isn't clear, guess what?

You can't start out a leader until you have learned a bit about leading. Expecting a live in, dependent upon you is going to take some real good leadership skills, accountability and presentation.



Nailed it.



mrcrankypants -> RE: A long road.. (8/24/2011 10:24:04 AM)

Don't feel bad, I'm a single older dom in a huge city (L.A.) and I can't find one either!



ResidentSadist -> RE: A long road.. (8/24/2011 12:32:54 PM)

Florida is a hotbed of kink.  There are more munches and open to the public play parties than you can ever dream of attending.  Put some gas in the car and start touring the various munches and play parties, you'll end up meeting more willing partners than you can handle.  



0ldhen -> RE: A long road.. (8/24/2011 5:46:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mrcrankypants

Don't feel bad, I'm a single older dom in a huge city (L.A.) and I can't find one either!


Having looked at your profile....put some clothes on....most women really do not want naked photos of a guy slapping them in the eyeballs. Next, great pic of you smiling, except it makes your teeth very yellow. Photoshop it or get your teeth cleaned.

Finally, this;

"19-43ish, who lives within 10 miles of Burbank, CA? Can you host? "

You want somebody within ten miles of you that is willing to have you come play at their house. Why ten miles? And the "can you host" thing, in a young man it screams, I live in my moms basement. In a guy your age it screams, I am married.



LadyPact -> RE: A long road.. (8/25/2011 4:05:44 AM)

I was writing something similar on the poly forum earlier tonight.

I seriously don't understand why this is so difficult for people.  I find more "thirds" than most people.  It's honestly not that hard.  All I ever need to do is run a good household, be present in the community, and they find Me.  I'm not a great Domme for everyone, but I'm a hell of a Domme for those who want what I have to offer.

If you can't find at least one good prospect a year, you have the wrong approach.



0ldhen -> RE: A long road.. (8/25/2011 10:12:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

If you can't find at least one good prospect a year, you have the wrong approach.




I agree, when the ol man was alive finding candidates was easy. We were verra picky though, each member of the household had to be able to love the new arrival.

Truthfully, we had the same two for most of the relationship. New pussy just is not worth bringing unwanted Drama into the house.



HisPet21 -> RE: A long road.. (8/26/2011 7:38:40 AM)

quote:

IF YOU HAVE GOALS THAT YOU WISH TO FULFILL WE WILL SUPPORT THEM WITH IN REASON.


Wait a sec...you'll support your slave's goals within reason? That's a deal breaker right there. Who wants to settle for a Dom couple that is only willing to support your dreams and goals if it is convenient for them to do so? How about this: You take that out of your profile and when you meet an interested party, get to know her. If her goals are not compatible with yours (i.e. her dream is fill your house with horses and call it "Horse House" and charge $7.50 a person for admittance) you break it off as an incompatibility issue rather than expect her to drop her dreams at your door step? That sounds like a good plan. Next!

quote:

My husband and I are Dom
...
quote:

This is something we are seriously looking for and like in any relationship we believe you must have some form of communication to each party involved to make it work.
[8|]...
quote:

Somethings you should know
...
quote:

I am bi and my husband is str8
...

You need to fix the grammar in your profile. Badly. First impressions are important, and a carelessly written profile will speak volumes, accurate or not, for a poly sub looking through hundreds of profiles.

quote:

If there is any sexual contact it will only be female to female.


So, you don't have a problem screwing the slave, but you don't want the slave screwing your husband? Why? That tidbit there reads like a red flag for those who want to avoid potential jealousy issues. Your husband is a straight dom, so why isn't he allowed to play with the slave? Why would a bi slave agree to this arrangement?

Why does your profile primarily discuss the kinds of sexual play you are into and not your vanilla interests or how your household is run?

Plus, its just hard to find a poly female sub. No one likes being a third wheel and there are a TON of couples looking and not so many poly female subs.



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