cuckolding... help me out here

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stoni23 -> cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 3:26:09 PM)
I really don't understand the desire behind cuckolding at all. I was hoping for a submissive/slave's perspective on why anybody would want to watch someone have sex with their partner. To me, it makes no sense. I can see the obvious benefits for the Dominant. One being, they can have sex with whoever they want. Two, maybe they get off on denying the slave sex and now the slave has to watch and feel bad about himself/herself? Me personally, I almost wouldn't care if my Dominant had sex here and there with other people, but to have me watch, I would make that a hard limit. So, help me out here, what's so great about seeing the person you love getting fucked by someone else?

LadyPact -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 3:27:27 PM)
Have you heard of a little kink called voyeurism?

stoni23 -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 3:28:20 PM)
Yes of course, but the people are never my partners.

Kaliko -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 4:58:46 PM)
Actually, with a partner - someone I love - was the only way that I did engage is this type of activity. I can't imagine exposing myself emotionally to anyone who I didn't completely trust. I am one of the rarer types - a woman who likes her man to be with other woman, to be forced to watch, to help him prepare for his time with other women, to be compared to the other women...I guess usually it's the man that is the cuckold. To be honest, I'm not sure I can say why I like it. It started innocently enough, with me pleasuring him while he looked at or talked about other women, and I found myself asking for him to tell me what he likes about them, and it blossomed into something which is probably on the edge of fucked-up-edness. I don't know....it's just a giant, giant turn on for me. What I enjoy very much is providing pleasure for my partner, while I am experiencing none (um...other than the pleasure of the giant turn on of giving him pleasure while I get none.) My own physical experiences are much less important to me than his are, and so, I suppose if I know he is experiencing all of that wonderful physical sensation with a woman who enjoys receiving it as much as giving it, then I get my mental mindfuck that I need while still experiencing being loved by him. Does that make sense?

Rochsub2009 -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 7:46:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stoni23 I really don't understand the desire behind cuckolding at all. I was hoping for a submissive/slave's perspective on why anybody would want to watch someone have sex with their partner. Me personally, I almost wouldn't care if my Dominant had sex here and there with other people, but to have me watch, I would make that a hard limit. Okay, let me share my perspective on this. I think that you are making an assumption that is not necessarily true. Cuckolding does not necessarily imply that you have to watch. From what you described, it sounds like you wouldn't mind being a cuck, but you'd prefer not to be forced to watch. For me, cuckolding is not something that I enjoy, but it is an activity that makes me feel more submitted than most others. I'm as possessive as the next guy. I don't like the idea of my partner being with someone else. So it takes a great deal of submission for me to accept the idea. I have to remind myself that SHE enjoys it. That's what counts. Not my jealousy. Most of the Dommes that I've served have maintained their sexual freedom, while I have had to remain dedicated exclusively to them. I didn't mind that arrangement, but I've never enjoyed watching them with other partners. In fact, I avoid it if at all possible. Hope that helps.

slaveluci -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 7:54:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko I am one of the rarer types - a woman who likes her man to be with other woman, to be forced to watch, to help him prepare for his time with other women, to be compared to the other women...I guess usually it's the man that is the cuckold. To be honest, I'm not sure I can say why I like it. It started innocently enough, with me pleasuring him while he looked at or talked about other women, and I found myself asking for him to tell me what he likes about them, and it blossomed into something which is probably on the edge of fucked-up-edness. I don't know....it's just a giant, giant turn on for me. What I enjoy very much is providing pleasure for my partner, while I am experiencing none (um...other than the pleasure of the giant turn on of giving him pleasure while I get none.) My own physical experiences are much less important to me than his are, and so, I suppose if I know he is experiencing all of that wonderful physical sensation with a woman who enjoys receiving it as much as giving it, then I get my mental mindfuck that I need while still experiencing being loved by him. Does that make sense? Perfect sense. I feel exactly the same way. Not that rare at all[;)] luci

tj444 -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 8:11:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stoni23 So, help me out here, what's so great about seeing the person you love getting fucked by someone else? My first relationship was sort of like that but we were both 17 and knew nothing of bdsm or cuckolding. I remember the first time i had sex with another guy, i confessed/told my boyfriend over the phone (he was on holidays with his parents). When he got back, i expected him to kick my ass to the curb but he didnt.. instead he gave me the most passionate kiss ever.. There was another time, i was renting a room from a teacher (not my teacher) and he seduced me, he started having sex with me in his room when he knew i was waiting for my boyfriend to pick me up. One time, i hear footsteps downstairs while i am getting fucked by the teacher. When i got back downstairs there was no one there.. i had no idea who i heard, so i waited.. then soon my boyfriend came in the door... before i knew it he was dragging me into my room and fucking me like crazy.. we never discussed if it was him that i heard and he knew i had been having sex,.. but from how he acted and insisting on sex right after,.. well, i am pretty sure it was him.. and he might have been pissed off at me at first but then turned on by it... I am sure he knew there were other men, probably imagining more men than was the case.. lol I think had i known about bdsm and cucks, and the whole dynamic, it would have been a different relationship.. eta- since we never discussed these things, i have no real idea why it turned him on, just that he accepted it..

HannahLynHeather -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 8:27:06 PM)
quote: what's so great about seeing the person you love getting fucked by someone else? it's beautiful. to see people you love making love is just about the most beautiful thing in the world . it's not so much a turn on - well yeah it's hot as fuck, but it's more than that. laying on the bed next to them while they make love, is just mind-blowingly achingly beautiful. it takes the concept of intimacy to a whole new level. they're sharing this most personal and private of moments with you. not so you can join in, but so you can just immerse yourself in their happiness. it's an absolutely amazing experience, it's different from anything i have ever experienced before. you feel so close to them, so attached to them and so a part of them. it's hard to wrap your head around at first, but once you do - hoolee fuck! it's all in one's perspective, in how one looks at what it means to love i guess. i don't fucking know, all i do know is that it's just fantastic and i am completely addicted to it. it is one of my favorite things in life right now.

LadyPact -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 8:33:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather it's beautiful. to see people you love making love is just about the most beautiful thing in the world . it's not so much a turn on - well yeah it's hot as fuck, but it's more than that. laying on the bed next to them while they make love, is just mind-blowingly achingly beautiful. it takes the concept of intimacy to a whole new level. they're sharing this most personal and private of moments with you. not so you can join in, but so you can just immerse yourself in their happiness. it's an absolutely amazing experience, it's different from anything i have ever experienced before. you feel so close to them, so attached to them and so a part of them. it's hard to wrap your head around at first, but once you do - hoolee fuck! it's all in one's perspective, in how one looks at what it means to love i guess. i don't fucking know, all i do know is that it's just fantastic and i am completely addicted to it. it is one of my favorite things in life right now. Damn, Hannah. I have to ask. Are you channeling MP? He loves it! Watching Me get off by the effort of someone else. He says it's a whole different perspective.

stoni23 -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 8:42:34 PM)
Hmmmm a couple different ways of looking at it. I'm still a bit baffled, but I see where you guys are coming from now. I was under the impression that cuckolding was watching it happen specifically, which I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with. Also, while I said I was ok with them having sex with someone else, it's not exactly something I want to happen. I won't go out of my way for it to happen, but as long as I don't hear about the details and/or see it I think I will be ok with it. @Rochsub2009: It looks like you and I have pretty similar likes/dislikes on the matter. @Hannah: That's definitely an interesting way of looking at it, I never even considered looking at it from that angle. Maybe I am too hung up on my own sexual desires to see the full picture. I guess I maybe need to look at myself a bit.

Kaliko -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 9:00:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stoni23 Hmmmm a couple different ways of looking at it. I'm still a bit baffled, but I see where you guys are coming from now. I was under the impression that cuckolding was watching it happen specifically, which I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with. Also, while I said I was ok with them having sex with someone else, it's not exactly something I want to happen. I won't go out of my way for it to happen, but as long as I don't hear about the details and/or see it I think I will be ok with it. @Rochsub2009: It looks like you and I have pretty similar likes/dislikes on the matter. @Hannah: That's definitely an interesting way of looking at it, I never even considered looking at it from that angle. Maybe I am too hung up on my own sexual desires to see the full picture. I guess I maybe need to look at myself a bit. While what Hannah wrote certainly is quite nice, I wouldn't consider that cuckolding in the modern sense. A cuckold formally is a man whose wife is sleeping with other men without his knowledge. The fetish is more specific to the idea of the man having knowledge of his wife's activities and being victimized as part of the activity. A female cuckold is a cuckquean, which I think is kind of a silly name. But, for that matter, they're both kind of silly names. So, yes, I can see how Hannah's response is fitting for your statement about having a hard time watching your partner have sex with someone else. But just for clarification, I wouldn't consider that type of feeling and relationship as cuckolding. Nor is simply watching or knowing about your partner's sexual activity with another considered cuckolding, in the way the term is used today. There's a harshness there...victimization really is a good word for it, regarding the submissive being disregarded, humiliated, ignored, or used for the couple's pleasure and benefit.

SuzeCheri -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 9:09:58 PM)
There isn't anything I could add to what Hannah Lynn said. I still get jealous sometimes, but when I do I just join in, and that sort of makes being jealous moot. You have anything to add Suze? Yes I do. That's no surprise. GLARE Eeep. [sm=couch.gif] To me, I think it's more eroticised than it is for Hannah. It's a HUGE turn on for me, I get so turned on watching. The sights, sounds and smells just get to me. But it's not like live action porn, or watching two friends do it. Like Hannah said, it's special because of who it is. Because I am so close to them, it somehow transcends. It's very hard to explain, but I think Hanners managed to come pretty close.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/18/2011 9:13:56 PM)
you're absolutely fucking right kaliko. it's not cuckolding at all. i actually meant to say something along those lines, but just forgot to.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/19/2011 4:34:37 AM)
i would consider watching sex between members of your poly family different from cuckolding. i've never participated in a cuckolding dynamic, but i've talked to guys who are into it; some men get off on humiliation aspect of it. they aren't needed or desired at the moment; someone else is. or they couldn't satisfy the woman anyway, so she sought out someone else. something like that. to me, cuckolding involved some kind of participation, like helping the other party get ready, or cleaning up afterwards, watching, or hearing about it. something like that. my previous Dude did whatever he did with other chicks sometimes but i wasn't a part of it and wasn't required to be. that was uncomfortable enough for me, but eh, he was the boss. eta: oh, hannah already clarified that, so never mind. haha =p

stoni23 -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/19/2011 5:31:01 AM)
Also makes sense. I can see I'd be more ok with it if I had a special bond with both of the parties involved, but someone I had never met before would be tough to swallow.

coookie -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/19/2011 2:01:41 PM)
stoni just to add .... it isn't always about what you want either. I think sometimes (especially cuck imo) is about giving the person what they want .. really sacrificing for them to be happy. I really like what Hannah wrote though and i took that and i copied it onto my home screen Hannah so thanks for your wisdom. Through all your fucking you've become brilliant =p

stoni23 -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/19/2011 2:34:45 PM)
Of course coookie, that goes without saying. But there are always some things that not everybody is willing to do; some things that even the kinkiest people will not bend on. It's kind of fantasy to think well it's not what I want, so do whatever you want to do. It just feels like to me, that the other partner is just using cuckolding as a way to have sex with someone else without having to face any consequences for it. Obviously not ALWAYS the case, as Hannah mentioned above, but I just can't shake that from my brain lol. I'm the last one to be held up on "always what I want". I've done and will do many many things that I absolutely do not want to do, but like I said earlier in this response, there are always limits. I just don't know whether this one is mine or not yet lol.

Kaliko -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/19/2011 7:35:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stoni23 It just feels like to me, that the other partner is just using cuckolding as a way to have sex with someone else without having to face any consequences for it. Obviously not ALWAYS the case, as Hannah mentioned above, but I just can't shake that from my brain lol. Same could be said about a lot of D/s relationships. My (ex, sort of) Dominant could have used D/s as a way to fuck his woman whether I wanted to be fucked or not and not face any consequences for it. It's an agreement among the partners to be in such a dynamic, as is cuckolding. As stated in another thread, no one is holding a gun to my head. So he's not "getting away" with anything. It's a relationship I choose to be in.

toserveonlyyou -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/19/2011 8:23:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stoni23 I really don't understand the desire behind cuckolding at all. I was hoping for a submissive/slave's perspective on why anybody would want to watch someone have sex with their partner. To me, it makes no sense. I can see the obvious benefits for the Dominant. One being, they can have sex with whoever they want. Two, maybe they get off on denying the slave sex and now the slave has to watch and feel bad about himself/herself? Me personally, I almost wouldn't care if my Dominant had sex here and there with other people, but to have me watch, I would make that a hard limit. So, help me out here, what's so great about seeing the person you love getting fucked by someone else? If it's not something that you're into, I don't think that you can really understand it on an intellectual level. There are evolutionary triggers for jealousy causing arousal, but cuckolding is more than jealousy. I, personally, get off on the humiliation aspect of cuckolding, as well as the pleasure that my partner is receiving. The fact that my dominant partner cares nothing for my pleasure is immensely arousing (I don't know why). And, nothing is more obviously callous and indifferent to my feelings than her having sex with other men. The fact that they're better endowed than I am is the main factor in my humiliation. I'm powerless in that department, I have what I have. The added humiliation of her telling me how much bigger his dick is, and how much more pleasure she gets from it than mine, is indescribably exquisite. It is the ultimate in giving up one's own power. And, FYI, I enjoy watching and waiting. I don't think that I can make you understand, but I hope this helps.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: cuckolding... help me out here (8/19/2011 9:03:51 PM)
[sm=goodpost.gif] excellent fucking post man. and your 1st as well, fucking a. i hope to see more from you.

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