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Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/18/2011 3:35:36 PM

Aylee

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Where do you want to go for dinner?

That is a question that couples and groups often argue about. This article suggests that perhaps it is because it is dinner and we have decision fatigue.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/21/magazine/do-you-suffer-from-decision-fatigue.html?_r=2&partner=rss&emc=rss

I will warn that it is a long article. However, I found it very interesting. Especially after the honor thread. (I wonder if the two might be related.)

I hope that ya all find it interesting and have some thoughts about it.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

Post #: 1

RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/18/2011 5:50:34 PM

0ldhen

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From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
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We NEVER had that particular fight......

The article was pretty good. I agree that hungry tired folks are more likely to be cranky.

(Him) Where to you want to go for dinner Hon?

(Me) Where ever you wish..........

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Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/18/2011 6:26:31 PM

LadyPact

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A really long time back, there was this thread started by a chick who said the guy she met up with wasn't Dominant enough for her because he wouldn't tell her where he wanted to go for dinner. Stupid as hell, but some folks really put stock in those kinds of things.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/18/2011 6:31:55 PM

0ldhen

Posts: 2221
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From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

A really long time back, there was this thread started by a chick who said the guy she met up with wasn't Dominant enough for her because he wouldn't tell her where he wanted to go for dinner. Stupid as hell, but some folks really put stock in those kinds of things.

LMAO....You know LP.....I can truly believe that. Each person has their own ideas of what constitutes a D type to them I guess.

If he followed my line by answering "you pick" then I did.

_____________________________

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 4

RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/18/2011 7:18:00 PM

LadyPact

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Hi chickie.

My answer to that stupid bullshit is that I can find chicken damn near anywhere.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to 0ldhen)

Post #: 5

RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/18/2011 8:19:17 PM

Aylee

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Joined: 10/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Hi chickie.

My answer to that stupid bullshit is that I can find chicken damn near anywhere.

This is kind of how I feel. I have always been able to find something to order. When I am at home, if there is something I want, I will specifically say that I want to go there.

However, when out of town for work, my answer is usually, "I don't care" or "I have no preference." FFS, I do not know what the options are, I do not live there, how could I really have an opinion? And really, after about two days of restaurant food, it really makes no difference to me. I just want a damn salad. Maybe a bread roll.

There is a reason that I cook so much.

As far as the article goes, it talked about the studies that they did showing that the more choices/decisions that you make actually effects your decision making and will-power. It actually fatigues that part of the brain. This effects parole hearings, suit and car buying, dieting, and snack purchases at the checkout line at the grocery store.

They did not actually discuss the dinner question. It did make me wonder if meeting for a snack/appetizer first would help that discussion.

As I said, I just found it interesting.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 6

RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 2:29:05 AM

DomImus

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Men often get fatigued by this scenario: They ask her where she would like to eat and she says "It doesn't matter - you decide." So he makes a suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then he offers a second suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then a third. You get the picture.

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(in reply to Aylee)

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 2:44:27 AM

HannahLynHeather

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Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
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when we go out to diner, i decide where we go. simple, easy. if i want her input i ask her, if she doesn't have a preference, then tough shit babe, you had your chance, you're going wherever the fuck i decide.

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 2:52:40 AM

sunshinemiss

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My ex ALWAYS knew where he wanted to go. Me? I don't really care. I almost never have a preference - I also can get chicken and some veggies anywhere. Nowadays, I usually say, "Not Korean" when someone asks that. I usually eat Korean food alone - it's fast, easy, healthy, and they deliver it to your door in real bowls and plates!

It sounds like, Aylee, something that has bugged me for years about grocery stores. I HATE going to them! Cheese and rice, how many kinds of cereal does there need to be? And toothpaste? pump bottle, squeeze tube, red, blue, green, white, whitening, sensitive, striped, with sparkles, all natural. Just gimme some dang toothpaste or I'll stinky breathe all over you!

I wonder if this phenomenon is why it's best to exercise / meditate / in the morning. We're too tired from making decisions all day to have the self-discipline to follow through. Very interesting read.

Loved this line:
Besides tragically removing an excuse for romping down the streets of New Orleans..
.
Thank you for sharing the article!

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 9

RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 3:05:02 AM

HannahLynHeather

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From: where it's at
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unless of course heckle and/or jeckle are with us, in which case it just never gets decided.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 10

RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 6:11:21 AM

NuevaVida

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

Men often get fatigued by this scenario: They ask her where she would like to eat and she says "It doesn't matter - you decide." So he makes a suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then he offers a second suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then a third. You get the picture.

Not just men. My ex husband was notorious for that. Drove me crazy.

The Mister & I haven't had a decision issue about dinner. Usually he picks the place, and sometimes he lets me pick it. I have no problem making that decision. In fact, we're going out tonight and I picked the place yesterday.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to DomImus)

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 6:39:41 AM

Hillwilliam

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Joined: 8/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

Men often get fatigued by this scenario: They ask her where she would like to eat and she says "It doesn't matter - you decide." So he makes a suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then he offers a second suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then a third. You get the picture.

Ya beat me to that one Imus. Happens a lot.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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Post #: 12

RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 7:01:50 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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for me if I have too many choices it just confuses me and I get tired and give up so I can understand that article a lot. I think these days we simply have too many choices.

As for going out to eat, it's simple. Master will ask me if I have any preferences. Almost always I don't but if I do I tell him and he decides. Most times though he decides and I have no problem with that...most of the time, except when he wants greasy burgers <cringe>. I've always been like that though because really...I don't care where I eat. I can find something on almost any menu to satisfy me. I'm just not that picky when it comes to eating out. It's just not important to me. My friends and daughter hate that about me though but ya know...I have no preferences so it really doesn't matter to me. Most people don't understand how I don't have preferences. I just don't. I guess in the big scheme of things most things just are not that important to me.

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Everything has changed

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 8:21:16 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Joined: 12/29/2010
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i get confused, too, if there are too many options. i'll get all tangled up weighing the options and going "but that place has that nice salad bar... but we can get ice cream at the other place." =p i don't usually really have a preference; on the off-hand that i actually do, i'll mention it. i usually prefer the other person to have an idea of where to go, and i'll tag along. =p
right now it's summer and my stomach isn't a fan of food and hot weather mixed together. in the summer, i can't decide because nothing sounds particularly good until i get there. =p

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 8:52:09 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
Where do you want to go for dinner?

I think it really depends on who you are with. When i was with my ex and we went out to a movie, guaranteed that he would have us change seats 3 times.. when we wanted to go out for dinner, it most often was the same Chinese restaurant and the exact same dishes, cuz we already knew what the best ones were.. easy peasy

Now that i am alone for the time being, i do whatever i want, eat what i want and go where i want...

That will change when i get my new boyfriend and since i am a sub, it will likely be more his decisions, especially if i move to be with him cuz i wont know anything about places to eat, go for walks, etc.. Once i have tried various spots, i am sure my favs will be places i will want to keep going to, same with meals, especially since i am a picky eater, there might even only be one thing on a menu that i will eat (yes, that has happened before)..

I think one way to beat this supposed fatigue is to already have those very important decisions already made ahead of time or at least narrowed down quite a bit. So you know you have 1 or 2 cereals you eat, your fav restaurants and meals there.. your fav tv shows, how/where you like to park your car,.. you have a routine that reduces those brain numbing decisions down to only a few every day..

I generally dont like to impulse buy, I like to window shop whatever i am looking for, then go home to think over the decision, and do more research on it and maybe a few days later go and buy it. If i were to buy a new car, the decision would be made already.

And i do know what my next new car will be, the make, model, automatic with air conditioning, the most basic one can buy with no extra expensive options.. the only thing i dont know yet is what color and thats cuz i have not looked at the choices yet, it will probably be a dark metalic grey tho.

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 8:57:12 AM

LaTigresse

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Generic Dude and I seem have an unspoken rule. If there is something we specifically are in the mood for, or not, we tend to steer the decision in that direction. Who is paying is also a deciding factor. He hates making decisions so defers to me so I am the one asking him if there is a certain avenue he is interested in taking or avoiding.

The truth is, we don't eat out very often. At most, once a month, and sometimes not for several months.

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 9:22:43 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

Men often get fatigued by this scenario: They ask her where she would like to eat and she says "It doesn't matter - you decide." So he makes a suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then he offers a second suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then a third. You get the picture.

Yeah, I can get that, but in My case, it's not that hard. The only suggestion that is really off of the list for Me is Mexican due to Me being allergic to onion. (Seriously, read the menu the next time you go and see what doesn't include it - Taco Salad.)

Anything else is fair game and I'm ridiculously predictable. A seafood dish, if it's available. Chicken if it's not.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 17

RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 9:35:40 AM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I didnt read the article, but I like the term "decision fatigue"!

Where/what to eat is a hideous stress factor in my home life. Up until four years ago, we had to wrangle the Wild One. Ever tried to get an old person to eat? Yeah. Dad, post chemo, is just batshit. Mom, more health issues than I need to think about.

So, when I am going out for FUN, or when I am meeting someone? I DO NOT WANT TO DECIDE!!! When I was being social, I always told the wannabe to decide where we were meeting. None of this passive-aggessive "whatever YOU want" bushwah. Just freakin decide. If I cared, I would have told you in the first place what I wanted. DELEGATING IS A MANAGEMENT SKILL!!

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[page 23 girl]

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 10:07:57 AM

pahunkboy

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From: Central Pennsylvania
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in my circles it is something like

somewhere close/cheap/fast/ i have a taste for.

I think the biggest rub- I run into is that I do not care for all you can eat buffets- - so this can cause a problem.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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RE: Where do you want to go for dinner? - 8/19/2011 10:12:56 AM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

Men often get fatigued by this scenario: They ask her where she would like to eat and she says "It doesn't matter - you decide." So he makes a suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then he offers a second suggestion. "No, I don't want that". Then a third. You get the picture.

Yeah, I can get that, but in My case, it's not that hard. The only suggestion that is really off of the list for Me is Mexican due to Me being allergic to onion. (Seriously, read the menu the next time you go and see what doesn't include it - Taco Salad.)

Anything else is fair game and I'm ridiculously predictable. A seafood dish, if it's available. Chicken if it's not.

Sounds like your need for beef is fulfilled at home

sorry I just could not resist.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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Post #: 20

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