CreativeDominant
Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
CreativeDominant, I understand that it's your opinion/view and that you are entitled to it ... but may I point out that even today, when it seems that few people understand what the words mean, tact and empathy go a long damn way?{/quote]
First, let me say that: No, my post was not directed at you. I find the relationships of Dommes to their submissives to be an entirely differing situation than that of the MaleDoms to their submissives. My post was mainly directed at the male dominant/female submissive interaction. As for tact and empathy, excuse me for asking but can you show me where in my post I was either tactless or non-empathetic towards your situation? My post was directed at female submissives (like the OP) who adopt an attitude of "L.T.R. only....no go without the show". I did no name-calling or whining, I pointed out my perspective on a problem.
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I don't know if your post was actually directed towards me or if it is just a general "get over it" post, but either way, I felt it was rude.
Again, in what way was it rude? If I had been speaking to you specifically, then maybe. However, I do not see anywhere in my post telling someone that they HAVE to follow through on my ideas or that their ideas are 'complete idiocy" or any such nonsense like that. And by the way, when I used "kicking tires" or "kissing frogs", did you note that those quotes came from others? Yet, it was my post you chose to take on as being the offensive one to you. Again, I will reiterate that my post was directed towards the OP. The fact that it states in the bottom right hand corner that it was in reply to you is due to yours having been the last post when I answered.
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You have no idea how many 'frogs' Holly and I have 'kissed,' or how many 'tires' we've 'kicked,' and that's not even taking the other posters into consideration at this point ... And you also have no idea how many 'frogs' not only turned out to not be 'princes' but were downright poisonous (like our last 'frog'). And tire-kicking typically only leads to sore toes ... if the tire doesn't blow up as soon as you touch it.
Holly and I have been patient throughout our years of searching, but that doesn't mean that we don't get discouraged. We've talked to 100s (at least) of potential submissives and keep getting burned by them in one way or another. We have 'kissed' those 'frogs' and have managed to come out relatively unscathed ... but when they vanish, lie, or cheat, it's very difficult emotionally. So, we take breaks - this break is most likely going to be longer than most due to the circumstances surrounding it (if you are interested, which I somehow doubt that you are, you can find the story of the last 'frog' in the "ask a mistress" section in a thread entitled "an announcement").
No, I do not have any idea how many frogs you've kissed or tires you've kicked nor do I have any idea if you mean it the same way I noted in my post. Again, since my post was not directed at you but instead to the OP and those submissives that I described, then my words do not apply to you since you have done just as I have noted, NOT what I noted as a possible reason for why some submissives fail to wind up with someone (because they won't kick tires, etc.).
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Other people have gone through similar situations, many have been through worse ... and I understand that - which is why I don't tell them to get over it, or move on, or anything as calloused and unfeeling as that. People need time to heal after such life occurances, and taking a break from searching is one of many ways to do that - don't look down on people who need to take breaks.
Again, please point out to me where in my post I told anyone to "get over it". I do not think you will find anything that...as you put it...calloused or unfeeling. What I did point out was that some submissives will not have much luck if all they are looking for is a L.T.R. that has to come before anything else and compared it to a vanilla remaining a virgin until they are married. That is not telling someone to move on.
I wonder...would I be right to consider your post rude...for assuming I was speaking to you? for mistakenly stating that I was callous and unfeeling for expressing a belief about why some submissives might wait a long time to find someone? Or is it only right to express an opinion about the reason why some male dominants are not finding submissives is because they are into D/s ONLY for the sex?
you were wrong, bearlee...
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RE: discouragement - 
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