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RE: recognition and transition - 9/11/2011 9:24:47 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Funny thing Focus you seem to be the only one who doesn't understand him. Maybe the problem isn't his young age or his post but you.


And maybe some of us male-dominant types think differently to you women.

Sure would be nice to have our own forum to express those differences in peace, for a change....

<shrugs>

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: recognition and transition - 9/11/2011 9:41:03 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mr4sg

Oh please. Not the age card again.
Peer pressure exists. And yes it involves willpower and resolve to resist that. It is a whole different aspect of life to deal with sentiments of a group or to deal with personal one on one sexlife.


So to summarise, the average 21yo.... (hell, 18yo even - or 14....), has exactly the same life skills, wisdom, maturity, instincts, experience etc as someone of 40 or 50, right?

Now this is where you dazzle me with that forum favourite of the "glass is 1% full (or empty)" philosophy.... You know, about how you know of some teenager somewhere who's waaaay more responsible and mature etc than some of those same 40 and 50yo's. Because, yeah, *some* are - but I tend to lean towards the truth being with those conveniently ignored 99% for a gauge of how life works....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Mr4sg)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: recognition and transition - 9/11/2011 9:52:27 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		Oh damn, now I have to be lumped in with either the overly young or the femsubs. However will I choose? Oh wait, I don't have to, I have you here to enlighten me!

I quite understood his post, though admittedly it is a bit scattered and reeks of nervousness and typographical errors. He is looking for a way to show others in his life who know what to look for that he is in the market for a slave without showing the general public, which is a very reasonable question for someone with ambition who doesn't want to be 'the whips and chains guy' first and foremost in the eyes of those who stand to advance his position in the world. If it is immaturity to desire success and privacy may we all die so immature.

If I had to make a suggestion I would suggest a signet of the BDSM symbol. I used the symbol as an avatar here and there on the web for quite some time and was never caught out by anyone who wasn't a part of the lifestyle. Mostly people assumed it was a martial arts or Eastern philosophy thing, which is easy to let people believe.

That said, I think it's mostly going to be a matter of letting your personality shine through. I've been able to pick subs out of a crowd with very little probing, and they've been able to do the same with me. If your essence is truly that of a dominant the right people will notice, and if it isn't no number of signets is going to help you.


_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 12:40:16 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shadow1990

I'm not necessarly looking for a new immage, more of a piece of jewelry, perferbaly a ring, that is somewhat universal to the bdsm community


Even if there were a universal badge or symbol (or even just somewhat universal) it would be a really really bad idea to wear it in an environment where you don't want people to know that you're kinky. The chances that another co-worker or a member of the public would spot it are pretty high.

There are quite a few people here who have jobs that aren't BDSM friendly, but who have no trouble finding partners (even in the workplace!).

Part of me wants to say "You shouldn't need a badge". You can be both a "nice guy" and " dominant" - In fact, I'd reckon that a very significant proportion of the genuine ladies on the site are looking for a nice guy who is dominant.

Good luck

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to shadow1990)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 5:06:41 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

I quite understood his post, though admittedly it is a bit scattered and reeks of nervousness and typographical errors. He is looking for a way to show others in his life who know what to look for that he is in the market for a slave without showing the general public, which is a very reasonable question for someone with ambition who doesn't want to be 'the whips and chains guy' first and foremost in the eyes of those who stand to advance his position in the world. If it is immaturity to desire success and privacy may we all die so immature.


Believe it or not, I understood his post quite well, too.

While the question may be reasonable to ask, the premise isn't. Just as there are no unicorns, subs aren't roaming around with "submissive" written across their foreheads, either. Even a 21yo should know there are no universal secret handshakes for a lifestyle readily accessed by anyone using the Internet.

Perhaps if you substitute "naive" for "immature" in that last (quoted) sentence, you might not be so quick to embrace his ideals.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Epytropos)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 5:34:15 AM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml


quote:

ORIGINAL: shadow1990

I'm not necessarly looking for a new immage, more of a piece of jewelry, perferbaly a ring, that is somewhat universal to the bdsm community


Even if there were a universal badge or symbol (or even just somewhat universal) it would be a really really bad idea to wear it in an environment where you don't want people to know that you're kinky. The chances that another co-worker or a member of the public would spot it are pretty high.

There are quite a few people here who have jobs that aren't BDSM friendly, but who have no trouble finding partners (even in the workplace!).

Part of me wants to say "You shouldn't need a badge". You can be both a "nice guy" and " dominant" - In fact, I'd reckon that a very significant proportion of the genuine ladies on the site are looking for a nice guy who is dominant.

Good luck



Sorry for the temporary derail, but the following came to mind.





_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 5:50:31 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Conspiracy!!!!!!!!!!!!

*gets foil hat and spatula and hides in a corner*

(in reply to DeviantlyD)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 6:09:09 AM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

Sure would be nice to have our own forum to express those differences in peace, for a change....
Awwww, there there, have a cookie. Will that make little focie-poo feel better?

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 6:12:15 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Well, heaven forbid that a chick come onto the Master's board to answer the OP.

Dear OP,

This may not be successful depending on your work environment if you are wearing scrubs, but we leather folks have a term called "flagging" or sometimes known as the handkerchief code.  It's a way to tell other leather people whether you are a top or a bottom (depending on whether it's displayed in the left or right back pocket) and what type of activities that you are looking for (depending on the color). 

There are some variations on which code you will want to use depending if you are gay or straight, so I won't post the chart here.  You'll be able to find the one that works for you by checking out google.  A number of non fiction books on the leather lifestyle will include a chart as well.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 6:20:08 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		This chick is also posting,don't you big bad men ever think that a chick can have some wonderful  tricks of the trade as well..Raven the vamp princess..ps collar me swallowed up my profile so i am using his while HE is away.

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 12:16:21 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

I quite understood his post, though admittedly it is a bit scattered and reeks of nervousness and typographical errors. He is looking for a way to show others in his life who know what to look for that he is in the market for a slave without showing the general public, which is a very reasonable question for someone with ambition who doesn't want to be 'the whips and chains guy' first and foremost in the eyes of those who stand to advance his position in the world. If it is immaturity to desire success and privacy may we all die so immature.


Believe it or not, I understood his post quite well, too.

While the question may be reasonable to ask, the premise isn't. Just as there are no unicorns, subs aren't roaming around with "submissive" written across their foreheads, either. Even a 21yo should know there are no universal secret handshakes for a lifestyle readily accessed by anyone using the Internet.

Perhaps if you substitute "naive" for "immature" in that last (quoted) sentence, you might not be so quick to embrace his ideals.

Focus.


I'm gonna have to go with 'not.' To quote from your initial post, with emphasis added:

quote:

I'm just gonna assume from your screen name that you're all of 21 - 'cause that's about the level of sense your post makes.


As a rule I tend to only accuse people of not making sense when I don't understand them.

As to things 'even a 21-year-old' can understand, I suspect that given the fact that upwards of half a dozen people have given him ideas which conform to his desires, myself included, you're likely mistaken. I don't think he ever asserted (or, for that matter, that even you thought he asserted) that there was some way to express it such that there was no way he would ever be found out by a single vanilla soul. He simply wanted something that was unlikely to be found out, and since I kept the BDSM symbol as my Facebook profile picture for upwards of a year without being found out I have to say there is very clearly a way that can be done.

My issue is not with your word choice, atrocious as it may be, but rather that in your rush to feel superior you've overlooked reality.

EDIT: Fixed my fonts. The green+arial+giant bit cocked them up.


< Message edited by Epytropos -- 9/12/2011 12:18:20 PM >

_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 12:24:45 PM   
Mr4sg


Posts: 99
Joined: 9/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Funny thing Focus you seem to be the only one who doesn't understand him. Maybe the problem isn't his young age or his post but you.


And maybe some of us male-dominant types think differently to you women.

Sure would be nice to have our own forum to express those differences in peace, for a change....

<shrugs>

Focus.


Im with the chicks on this one.
Besides, some of those chicks got bigger balls than some "masters"


_____________________________

Don't argue with idiots. It lowers you to their level where they beat you with experience.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 3:20:23 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Well, heaven forbid that a chick come onto the Master's board to answer the OP.


Now this is the kind of logic zephyr can relate to....

Did I say chicks weren't welcome to "answer the OP" in 'Ask a Master'? Not that she actually did, mind you; more that she's likely still smarting from a recent bout of "foot in mouth" posting that was supposed to be at my expense. (Yeah, I know, it's all about me)

And while we're at it, did I say chicks weren't welcome to post here, period? Even *You* should know I've often posted that this forum would be a virtual "ghost town" without the women contributing....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 3:23:01 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You'll have to excuse Me then, Focus, for misinterpreting the bolded and underlined below.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
And maybe some of us male-dominant types think differently to you women.

Sure would be nice to have our own forum to express those differences in peace, for a change....

<shrugs>

Focus.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 3:42:25 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

I'm gonna have to go with 'not.' To quote from your initial post, with emphasis added:

quote:

I'm just gonna assume from your screen name that you're all of 21 - 'cause that's about the level of sense your post makes.


As a rule I tend to only accuse people of not making sense when I don't understand them.

As to things 'even a 21-year-old' can understand, I suspect that given the fact that upwards of half a dozen people have given him ideas which conform to his desires, myself included, you're likely mistaken. I don't think he ever asserted (or, for that matter, that even you thought he asserted) that there was some way to express it such that there was no way he would ever be found out by a single vanilla soul. He simply wanted something that was unlikely to be found out, and since I kept the BDSM symbol as my Facebook profile picture for upwards of a year without being found out I have to say there is very clearly a way that can be done.

My issue is not with your word choice, atrocious as it may be, but rather that in your rush to feel superior you've overlooked reality.




Oooh, semantics - now we're getting to the heart of all logic.

Let's see, I commented that his post has all the sense of a 21yo. That's not to say I didn't understand it; it's that it's nonsense - as in naive, immature, unrealistic etc - which is what you generally get from 21yo's playing with adult dynamics.

And since the rest of your post is more of the same, I'll let you get back to re-visiting your rules....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Epytropos)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 3:53:37 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You'll have to excuse Me then, Focus, for misinterpreting the bolded and underlined below.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
And maybe some of us male-dominant types think differently to you women.

Sure would be nice to have our own forum to express those differences in peace, for a change....

<shrugs>

Focus.


What you're misinterpretting is your own words. I draw your attention to the last 4 words:

Well, heaven forbid that a chick come onto the Master's board to answer the OP.

But do carry on....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 3:59:33 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mr4sg

Im with the chicks on this one.
Besides, some of those chicks got bigger balls than some "masters"


And aren't they doing soooo well in this instance.... lol

Enjoy.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Mr4sg)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 4:05:51 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		You keep doing this, and I'm not sure whether it's a desperation maneuver or whether you legitimately believe it makes sense, but every time someone points out how much sense you're not making you just pretend they have a reading comprehension problem and/or that meaning is inscrutable. In this thread alone you've resorted to it multiple times. Words have meanings; very specific, carefully outlined meanings. You don't get to redefine things every time someone takes time out of their day to point out why you're wrong.

_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 4:15:41 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

You keep doing this, and I'm not sure whether it's a desperation maneuver or whether you legitimately believe it makes sense, but every time someone points out how much sense you're not making you just pretend they have a reading comprehension problem and/or that meaning is inscrutable. In this thread alone you've resorted to it multiple times. Words have meanings; very specific, carefully outlined meanings. You don't get to redefine things every time someone takes time out of their day to point out why you're wrong.


The only place I'm losing here is on democratic/popularity grounds.

More things that don't keep me awake at nights....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Epytropos)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: recognition and transition - 9/12/2011 4:32:47 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm still struggling to understand what a true form of wiitwd is, and why he can't believe his partner is equal in value to him if he takes the lead in the relationship.

As far as telling your mates what you did in the sack last night, op, I strongly suggest you memorize the phrase "a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell". Because getting a reputation of being demeaning to your date by telling everyone about what you did to her is not a way to ever get another date.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 40
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