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What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:14:14 PM

Nyxalinth2

Posts: 35
Status: offline

I was talking to a guy on here who seemed nice enough. We had things in common, vanilla and otherwise. He seemed really great. he knew from moment one--it says right in my ad what I am--that I am a submissive. I am not a slave.

yet a few days ago he tells me 'I think what you'd really like is to progress through being submissive and become a slave' and some other stuff I can't recall. I said 'Well, maybe. But I would have to be allowed to keep my life and interests outside of the relationship'. As it says in my profile, and as I've said to him since day one.

So today he tells me his idea of a slave--which does not allow limits, a life outside of service, etc. This after he knows damned well it's not how I am or want to be. and he asks what my idea of submission is. I've told him several times already: for me, it is relinquishing control within my limits to my partner and taking pleasure in pleasing him without sacrificing who and how I am, but at the same time being open to experiencing different things as long as they aren't on my hard limits list (which isn't very long).

So why is it that after a week of acting like he's what I want he suddenly comes out with really wanting a slave and trying to talk me into being the one? Gods, there's a zillion slaves who would happily do and be how he wants. And what is with this 'Mind Reader' crap?

So, now that I'm done ranting, how can I reword my profile so that I get more of what I want and less of what I don't want? If I sound angry, I am. I wasted a week on this guy, and he was obviously blowing smoke up my ass.

Post #: 1

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:18:13 PM

MadamShy

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

welcome to the crowd LOL I have been told after reading My profile that I was too strict ... My profile is extreme and strict ...hun get use to it ... its not always what you write its how they read

_____________________________

Madam Shy
Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)

Post #: 2

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:21:50 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Changing your profile wont help a thing, they will continue to tell you want you want when you dont want it..I have had a couple of them do me the same way. I just wasted 2 weeks on a married man without knowing it.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)

Post #: 3

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:22:16 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I would try to chalk it up as a learning experience (I know, everyone says that...smiles). I do not know what to tell you other than there are NOT a zillion other slaves out there, so he decided to try to talk a submissive into becoming one. I think of slaves as being very special creatures, almost like unicorns.. true slaves are rare and valuable.

Be thankful he didnt wait until after he had you living with him to change the rules on ya...smiles... its only a week after all!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)

Post #: 4

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:22:26 PM

Nyxalinth2

Posts: 35
Status: offline

I appreciate your honesty, ma'am. Never thought of it that way. I just got the overwhelming feeling that his thought was 'I am Domly McDom, and I am so cool she'll just automatically forget what she wants and do it my way' instead of thinking 'Hmm, okay, she's not quite what I need, so I'll find what will make me happy, and she can do the same' and end it.

Just as I did, when I figured out that he wasn't right for me. I'm not saying his wants/needs are bad. Just saying I need someone more compatible and am willing to go find it, rather than have a struggle later.

(in reply to MadamShy)

Post #: 5

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:26:58 PM

Nyxalinth2

Posts: 35
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would try to chalk it up as a learning experience (I know, everyone says that...smiles). I do not know what to tell you other than there are NOT a zillion other slaves out there, so he decided to try to talk a submissive into becoming one. I think of slaves as being very special creatures, almost like unicorns.. true slaves are rare and valuable.

Be thankful he didnt wait until after he had you living with him to change the rules on ya...smiles... its only a week after all!

thanks for clearing that up. I assumed that there were a zillion becasue I see so many! to the point where I doubted my own submissiveness. Thanks for your answer; I appreciate it.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 6

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:31:54 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

That is the neat thing about soooooo many members on the site. No matter what your kink is you don’t have to settle, someone will be into what your into or the degree's of separation will be so small that it will work great.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)

Post #: 7

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:34:49 PM

TxBlkMistress

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline

honestly Nyxalinth, I've found that a lot don't even read profiles, they just look and pictures and try to make that person into what they are looking for.

My profile states that in no way shape or form to I want anything online...yet at least twice a day I have some "yahoo" that asks me if I will Domme him online or "take care" of him when they come through town.

ya just can't win...LOL

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)

Post #: 8

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:39:25 PM

TxBlkMistress

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline

I totally agree Wulfchyld....

So how come I'm a human pest strip for the scammers?....LOL

ya think just one of those rare ones would find me....LOL

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 9

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:51:35 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Orrrrrr, since they are reading minds, think really horrible hidious thoughts and scare them away!

forgive me please......I must have gotten too much sun today....

(in reply to TxBlkMistress)

Post #: 10

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 7:54:06 PM

TxBlkMistress

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline

LOL LaTigresse....

I so agree....if they could read my mind....they would definitely try to leave the planet..lol

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 11

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/20/2006 9:52:58 PM

TopCurious0

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/2/2005
From: West Lafayette, IN
Status: offline

Drat! The mindreading lessons must have have been the morning I overslept in Dom School.
I shhh'd my alarm clock that morning and when she had to resort to other methods to wake me up, I got a bit distracted...

(in reply to TxBlkMistress)

Post #: 12

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/21/2006 12:41:13 AM

mystiquenz

Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline

Greetings,

I am sorry that you had a wasted journey, but, maybe you should be counting your lucky stars, that the journey was only one week, and not many months.

When there is a connection, when you meet in real time, and you discover incompatibilties, then you can move on, but what about if you are distant, and it takes some months before you meet, think about the build up of frustration then, if the cards, unfold the way yours have just done.

I think you are fortunate that you discovered after a short period of time that the person was a time waster.

It never amazes me, when dominants say that they can read, yet, as submissives/slaves we are expected to follow instructions, yet they are unable to read simple statements, eg, no married men, not interested in poly ... and who generally has knocked ...

As you close one door, i'm sure another door will open, with the right sort of person at the other end. Happy journeys to you :)

_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to TopCurious0)

Post #: 13

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/21/2006 2:55:56 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

What ???? You did not just drop to your knees and start worshipping your computer in lieu of him? You must not be a "real subbie/slave".

Best,

LaMalinche

***Removes tongue from cheek***

(in reply to mystiquenz)

Post #: 14

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/21/2006 6:29:29 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Block and delete works very well.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 15

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/21/2006 8:02:24 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

You are getting sleepy, sleepy, when you wake, you will be My ideal---

I have seen that happen too many times---its fantasy, that guy is I am sure clueless even about submission and has visions of a book cover where he is Fabio and you are some naked babe at his feet with that adoring taken look---nope, its called delete and move on.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)

Post #: 16

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/21/2006 10:30:53 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nyxalinth2

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would try to chalk it up as a learning experience (I know, everyone says that...smiles). I do not know what to tell you other than there are NOT a zillion other slaves out there, so he decided to try to talk a submissive into becoming one. I think of slaves as being very special creatures, almost like unicorns.. true slaves are rare and valuable.

Be thankful he didnt wait until after he had you living with him to change the rules on ya...smiles... its only a week after all!

thanks for clearing that up. I assumed that there were a zillion becasue I see so many! to the point where I doubted my own submissiveness. Thanks for your answer; I appreciate it.

I think what you see are "zillions" that like to use the word, without a clue as to what it is .

And this "Domly McDom"....... does he have red hair and big red shoes?? lol

< Message edited by Level -- 5/21/2006 10:32:04 AM >

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)

Post #: 17

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/21/2006 10:59:18 AM

Nyxalinth2

Posts: 35
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I think what you see are "zillions" that like to use the word, without a clue as to what it is .

And this "Domly McDom"....... does he have red hair and big red shoes?? lol

Nope, but he and his type are real clowns, let me tell you :)

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 18

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/21/2006 11:21:53 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nyxalinth2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I think what you see are "zillions" that like to use the word, without a clue as to what it is .

And this "Domly McDom"....... does he have red hair and big red shoes?? lol

Nope, but he and his type are real clowns, let me tell you :)

Heheh

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)

Post #: 19

RE: What to do with 'mind readers' - 5/21/2006 12:29:03 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I can't even begin to tell you how many times someone has written me and "informed" me how I need to change my thinking to become a "better" submissive or slave. I've come to the conclusion that EVERYONE except me claims to be an expert when it comes to all things me. Even in the thread I created about what do you do when you've pretty much given up on the search, a few people wrote me and asked if I wanted help "fixing" my profile so it will attract more women. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say I have a superfucking exceptional profile. Excuse the French. Yet everyone's an expert.

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)

Post #: 20

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