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TomTame -> RE: Desire to be the opposite sex (9/28/2011 8:47:56 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hausboy
OP:
hmmm. yikes.
first things first. there's your fantasy world...and the real world. In your fantasy world, you can do and be whomever you want. And if that means your fantasy is to be dressed like a promiscuous 21-year old and used sexually by men and women....that's entirely possible given you either pay for it...or find those interested in fulfilling that fantasy with you because they enjoy sissy scenes, etc. You can be that woman (even if just for a few hours) if that's all you want to fulfill those needs.
That said....
it's completely different from GID: Gender Identity Disorder (once called Gender Dysphoria). If you are female in your brain, and you are having serious anxiety, stress and depression over being stuck inside a male body that feels completely incongruous with your birth sex then GID is potentially the reason.
Do you dislike your male body? The way it looks? The way it smells? The way it feels? Do your male clothes disgust/repel you? Do you feel like no one really sees who you are because they keep seeing you as male?
I'm not talking about sex here...I'm talking about just the mundane. Walking down the street...do you cringe every time someone calls you "Mister" or "Sir"?
Take the sex out of the equation for the moment--how does it feel just living in your skin? You want to be a pretty woman. The reality? All women want to be attractive. (and men, for that matter) No one ever says they want to be ugly or unattractive. There's no way of knowing if you would be pretty or not after gender transition--if you feel so strongly that you are female, then I strongly suggest examining it both with a licensed professional and with a support group.
Lastly--forget the porn. Porn is great for wanking off, not making life choices. No matter how much money you have, you will not look like the women in the porn flicks. Hell, most biological women don't look like the women in the porn flicks. Is the only time your gender bothers you during porn watching? Or is it 24/7? I can tell you that for me...and many, many transgender friends, the gender pains were in our face, all the time, 24/7/365 and it was constant struggle. I transitioned not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I couldn't live in that hell much longer and hold on to my sanity. It pervaded every aspect of my life with no escape.
Gender is a continuum. It's not all black and white.. not all male and female....there are plenty of people who fall somewhere on the spectrum in between, and don't define themselves as either. Only you can know what's best for you, but personally, a licensed therapist (pref. one familiar with GID) is a good place to start.
edited for typos
Everything hausboy said is right. I've felt this way, too, and spent a lot of time feeling ashamed and guilty about it. It took some exploring and introspection for me to come to the conclusion that this was just a fantasy and not something I needed to take care of medically of psychologically. In other words, I'm happy being male, because I love women. The fact that you added "I'd be promiscuous" etc, seems more like a sexual fantasy. You didn't mention if you were worried about this, but if you're looking for people who can identify with you, there will be plenty.
Like you said, watching porn, it's much more exciting to identify with the female, but that's how porn is designed. It's all about the girl, getting the pleasure, being used, etc.
If you really want to explore more without getting too real, try a virtual world like Second Life, where you can be any person or creature you like.
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