do i really fall into the sub category?

do i really fall into the sub category? (Full Version)

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makmesubmit -> do i really fall into the sub category? (8/24/2011 6:35:54 PM)
Im new here. i finally decided to pursue these thoughts and feelings i've always had. But when i look around, all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself. Aprreciate the help.

hangemhigh1953 -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/24/2011 6:38:23 PM)
So basically you want someone to dominate you? That would make you the submissive. But don't get me started on the effectiveness of punishment on obedience XD

TheBanshee -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/24/2011 6:40:32 PM)
It is whatever you want it to be, and whatever your partner wants it to be. Don't let anyone tell you there is a "right" way. What works for your relationship may not work in any other, and vice versa. Good luck in your ventures.

littlewonder -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/24/2011 7:12:45 PM)
I would classify you as a brat but that's my view. You can call yourself whatever you want. No one really cares except you and whoever you decide to be with.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/24/2011 7:45:49 PM)
high maintenance.

Iamsemisweet -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/24/2011 8:15:40 PM)
Please, I would love to hear you get started on the effectiveness of punishment on obedience, cutey. That Skinner comment you made the other day was hot. quote: ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953 So basically you want someone to dominate you? That would make you the submissive. But don't get me started on the effectiveness of punishment on obedience XD

Focus50 -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 4:27:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: makmesubmit Im new here. i finally decided to pursue these thoughts and feelings i've always had. But when i look around, all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself. Aprreciate the help. It makes you submissive - as does those subs "who want to obey commands and do as they are told". Personally, I think you wanna do the latter as well, but that's all the submissive you (and those other subs); you don't get that from the Dominant other. And for someone lacking r/l experience with a Dominant, I can understand you being more focused on the mysteries of that which doesn't come from within you. That which only the Dominant half can bring to a relationship - rules, punishment, discipline etc.... Lol, you're in the early throes of sub-frenzy without even meeting a Dominant, yet. Might wanna research that before you do.... Welcome to the Forums. :) Focus.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 4:40:43 AM)
you're a sub. but try not to worry too much about sticking to a label for yourself beyond something general. we are all different and the details come out in the wash over time. there are different "kinds" of submission that work for different kinds of people.

ResidentSadist -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 8:42:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather high maintenance. And there we have the heart of the matter. [:)]

angelikaJ -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 8:59:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: makmesubmit Im new here. i finally decided to pursue these thoughts and feelings i've always had. But when i look around, all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself. Aprreciate the help. I think it means that for you the thought of punishment makes you hot.... . You might be someone who will enjoy punishment scenes and submitting within that context but not outside that framework. You may just need to find a dom who enjoys punishment dynamics. My Master does not enjoy punishment but that does not mean there aren't those out there that don't; also some people employ regular physical discipline to enforce submission in addition to punishment when one 'misbehaves'.

myotherself -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 9:02:49 AM)
If you're new to this, then it's likely (like me) that you need to find the "right" dominant who will make you want to obey. I met many lovely dominant men in my search, but I just didn't feel that fire inside that made me want to submit to them. Nothing wrong with me, or them, just the chemistry wasn't there. When I met Master, I felt it straight away. Now submitting and obeying is not a problem. In fact, it feels so right and natural. Go to munches, meet people, take it slow and hopefully you'll find the one who inspires you too.

Hisprettybaby -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 9:24:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: makmesubmit I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself. Aprreciate the help. Maybe a sub who wants a punishment dynamic? ~Hisprettybaby~

usrnamenottaken -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 9:36:34 AM)
I've been in this type of relationship for almost a year (My first, actually). My boyfriend was new to it also so I started out going off of porn, the things I had fantasized about for years. A lot of it was based off of punishment. It worked for awhile until I became sorta dependent on him for me to behave. I felt like he was doing more work than I was and maybe wasn't enjoying it as much as he should be. After reading these forums, I tried submitting without threats of punishment, tried to do things for him without him asking. I am happier than ever. Letting him take the lead and get things his way has been wonderful for me too. Turning him on actually turns me on more than my trying to do what turns me on does. I don't miss the punishment dynamic at all. I have completely different fantasies now too, ones of doing what he wants with me when he wants. I used to fantasize about being punished. I would try out submitting to him without the punishment dynamic, you might be surprised and actually like it

myotherself -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 9:56:02 AM)
Every relationship is unique to every couple. I'm in a punishment dynamic and I think that's what made this relationship last for me. For some it works, for some it doesn't. I'd say "suck it and see" [:D]

DesFIP -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 10:01:01 AM)
Force play is how it's usually referred to. The problem is that not very many dominants are interested in this at 6:00 AM when they just want you to make them a cup of coffee. Wanting this during play can be fun. Wanting this on a daily basis makes you a pain in the ass. It also puts the dominant at risk if you complain to the police. "I didn't immediately get up and make coffee so she beat me with a crop. See the welts". Nobody wants that and they're leery of strangers who do ask for this. I suggest you join your local community and talk to people who do this for real. They can tell you how things work day to day.

SweetieinControl -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 11:22:56 AM)
Dear makemesubmit, To me, sounds like your either a submissive or a bottom... but either way- you're one that is interested in a punishment dynamic. What's most important is the label you give yourself. Only time and experience will make you be truly sure. Get out there, but be safe.... [sm=2cents.gif]

paulmcuk -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 11:47:04 AM)
As others have said, you probably still fit within the sub category. I myself like obeying but I'm also not adverse to punishment. The ability to physically dominate - through punishment and pain - is a demonstration of female superiority. The Domme takes control through force rather than having it meekly surrendered to her. Her superiority is thus proven rather than being assumed.

myotherself -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 12:07:38 PM)
I think what the OP is talking about is force play - at least it reads that way to me. My punishment dynamic is very different. I want to serve, and I try hard to serve well. But when I mess up for reasons that I CAN control, then punishment ensues. Makes me think that little bit harder next time, and gives us both a chance to draw a line under the problem and move on. Like I said, horses for courses. You never know what works until you give it a go [:D]

seekingreality -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 1:10:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: makmesubmit Im new here. i finally decided to pursue these thoughts and feelings i've always had. But when i look around, all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself. Aprreciate the help. You fall into the category of someone who wants to be put in a category.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: do i really fall into the sub category? (8/25/2011 1:39:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: makmesubmit all i see is subs who want to obey commands and do as they are told. The thing is, thats not me. I want to be made to obey via punishment and discipline. So im just not really sure how to classify myself. We don't know you, so we can't define what you are. Only you can do that. What do you mean when you say that you want to be "made to obey"? Your answer to that will help you to understand whether you're submissive. If what you mean by "made to obey" is actually "agree to accept the punishment", you may be a masochist, but not a submissive. Enjoying (or accepting) pain is NOT the same as submission. Frankly, I'm surprised that so many chimed in saying that you ARE submissive. You haven't really demonstrated that (IMO). The only thing that I can deduct from your OP is that you seem to enjoy/desire punishment and discipline.

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