Profile (mine): advice anyone? (Full Version)

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newdeep -> Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 2:46:29 PM)

It is always hard to write a profile on a site. You want to put in a lot of things (to depict yourself, and attract), but you don't want to put there too many things (not to bore).
On a site like CM (BDSM I mean) it's even harder, trying to find a balance.
I completed my profile, but I'm not too much satisfied. A bit too verbose and serious, maybe?
Should you want to have a look and let me know what do you think ... I'd appreciate it.
And, just a second before sending this, I feel suddenly insecure ...
Oh, well...



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 2:53:45 PM)

This thread (taken from the FAQ at the top of the Ask a Mistress page; we get this question a *lot*) might be a good read.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/tm.htm

ETA: I liked the profile. I'd ditch the last notes section, and the words 'obsessively searching' (they're just negative words to have in a profile) and the whole thing needs a good proof read, because there are a few grammatical errors. But it's a good start. [:)]



newdeep -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:05:57 PM)

Thank you on both counts.

As for the thread, I'm having a look at it now.

As for my profile, well, thank you for the advice. The "obsessively" was meant to be self-ironic, but it didn't convey that maybe.

The proof-read ... I'm not mother tongue, and I relied on my knowledge and on Microsoft. I'll try again. But I hope that some "foreign" mistakes are tolerated. I like my posts (and my profile) to be well written, I don't like text message speak and poor grammar, but I'd like to concentrate more on contents. Besides, it's not fair that I can't use my foreign accent to gain some points ...





Focus50 -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:08:19 PM)

Even though I don't really relate to male subs, overall I'd say you're ahead of the pack in that your profile isn't focused on your needs and fetishes etc. Hell, you're not even calling yourself a worthless worm! lol And kudos...

I'd at least re-work these two sentences:

"I'm interested neither in cybersex, nor in financial submission."

Very easy for the reader to misinterpret. Simply say that you're not interested in blah blah


"Even if I'm not into a relationship now, I'm not obsessively searching."

Even *if*???? We're sposta guess?

The ladies will likely be more insightful....

Focus.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:12:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: newdeep

As for my profile, well, thank you for the advice. The "obsessively" was meant to be self-ironic, but it didn't convey that maybe.

It did come across right, but irony or no irony you've still put the image of an obsessive searcher into the reader's head, and that's not an image you want to be there.

As for using your foreign accent, record an audio greeting - that's a good way of showing it off. :p



hangemhigh1953 -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:12:22 PM)

I do think it sounds a bit too serious, perhaps you should consider adding something fun sounding to give viewers a little chuckle to remember you by?



newdeep -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:18:17 PM)

Thank you. I see your points. And I have already revised my profile a bit.

Actually, I'm not a worthless worm (last time I checked). That's why I didn't mention it ...




PeonForHer -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:18:29 PM)

Newdeep,

I agree with VC and Focus.  The first and biggest thing to avoid - which many if not most don't - is banging on about your own kinks.  So you reach at least a B+ grade, there.  Well done. 

However, to get into the A grade, I'd inject some warm humour.  Show these women that you can be a great companion for a night talking in a pub.  Submales have a reputation for being stuffed-up, overly-earnest, dreary, crashing bores, frankly.  Make it clear that you're not that type. 



PeonForHer -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:19:53 PM)

double post . . . .



newdeep -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:37:36 PM)

Thanks to you all.

Audio greeting? Did I mention I'm shy?

Too serious. True. I'm going to work on it. I put a last note about it, but I followed the piece of advice to deleting it. And then, maybe, if a lady finds out I have an unexpected sense of humor it will have a stronger effect. (I know she may never know as she will skip my profile).

Obsessive. Deleted. Deleted. Deleted. Deleted.

Two things.

First. You know that you English speaking people are a bit spoiled when it comes to the Internet: do you ever realize how difficult is to express themselves in depth in a different language?

Second. I'm thinking of adding a grammar-submission fetish on my profile... Well, at least I'm learning English ...



Tantriqu -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:37:59 PM)

Hi, newdeep:
I get a sense of conflict, that early on you say you're not interested in a relationship, and then spend the rest of your paragraphs describing one. This is one place where you can feel free to be honest.
And as Peon said, you should state what you can contribute to whatever relationship you want to be in.
You also never know who speaks your native language, so feel free to add a paragraph or two in that.
Good luck with your search.



newdeep -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:41:48 PM)

Tantriqu,

I was trying to convey the fact that I'm not in a hurry in searching a relationship (but I'm not ruling out at all) and that I like to talk to people anyway.
Then, I have conflict with myself ...but it's a different story ...

Thank you for your notes and your wishes.



MissToYouRedux -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 3:55:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

You also never know who speaks your native language, so feel free to add a paragraph or two in that.



This. And VC's comment about the audio greeting. [:)] Or if you're shy, you can combine both and read a couple of poetic lines in Italian...

Oh, wait. This isn't supposed to be about *my* fetish. [8D]



newdeep -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 4:05:46 PM)

Well, actually it is about publishing my voice on the Internet (and on a site like this... yikes...), not much about the contents. One-to-one, I talk too much ...

As for poetic lines, I will be glad to accommodate your fetish ... (too bold?). My English is not perfect, but my Italian is spectacular...





LadyPact -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 6:33:00 PM)

It seems fine.  Are there many BDSM groups in Italy where it will matter?



GreedyTop -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/27/2011 10:33:27 PM)

quote:

Why I'm not here



Not interested in cybersex, not interested in financial submission.


I would reword this: "NOT why I'm here"

otherwise, well done!



SuperHappyTime -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/28/2011 3:01:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: newdeep

First. You know that you English speaking people are a bit spoiled when it comes to the Internet: do you ever realize how difficult is to express themselves in depth in a different language?

Second. I'm thinking of adding a grammar-submission fetish on my profile... Well, at least I'm learning English ...


Your English is fine. I can understand it must be frustrating having to somewhat translate everything on here, but let me tell you that your profile reads better than most of the people on the site who have English as their *first* language.

Just click the 'journals' button at the top right of CM and read a page of those. Can't understand half of whats they're saying? Well, English is my first language and I have the same trouble ;o)

A picture would probably help..I'm the wrong sex and orientation, but I always think a non-kink pleasant looking face shot is best.

Good luck



newdeep -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/28/2011 3:36:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It seems fine.  Are there many BDSM groups in Italy where it will matter?


There are not many BDSM groups. At least, not as many as in the US. Besides, I find it difficult to enter a group ... My private side ...



newdeep -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/28/2011 3:39:54 AM)

quote:



I would reword this: "NOT why I'm here"

otherwise, well done!


Done. Thank you.



newdeep -> RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? (8/28/2011 3:43:20 AM)

quote:



A picture would probably help..I'm the wrong sex and orientation, but I always think a non-kink pleasant looking face shot is best.

Good luck


Thank you.

Picture. I understand.

On one side I think that I want to be "liked" first for who I am inside, and just afterwards because I'm a sex symbol (joking ... I'm not ...).

On the other side I think that the previous reason is just the nice shield hiding the fact that I wouldn't post the picture of me on here.




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