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Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 2:46:29 PM   
newdeep


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/27/2011
Status: offline 		It is always hard to write a profile on a site. You want to put in a lot of things (to depict yourself, and attract), but you don't want to put there too many things (not to bore).
On a site like CM (BDSM I mean) it's even harder, trying to find a balance.
I completed my profile, but I'm not too much satisfied. A bit too verbose and serious, maybe?
Should you want to have a look and let me know what do you think ... I'd appreciate it.
And, just a second before sending this, I feel suddenly insecure ...
Oh, well...

< Message edited by newdeep -- 8/27/2011 2:47:43 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 2:53:45 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		This thread (taken from the FAQ at the top of the Ask a Mistress page; we get this question a *lot*) might be a good read.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/tm.htm

ETA: I liked the profile. I'd ditch the last notes section, and the words 'obsessively searching' (they're just negative words to have in a profile) and the whole thing needs a good proof read, because there are a few grammatical errors. But it's a good start.

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 8/27/2011 2:57:00 PM >

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(in reply to newdeep)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:05:57 PM   
newdeep


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/27/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you on both counts.

As for the thread, I'm having a look at it now.

As for my profile, well, thank you for the advice. The "obsessively" was meant to be self-ironic, but it didn't convey that maybe.

The proof-read ... I'm not mother tongue, and I relied on my knowledge and on Microsoft. I'll try again. But I hope that some "foreign" mistakes are tolerated. I like my posts (and my profile) to be well written, I don't like text message speak and poor grammar, but I'd like to concentrate more on contents. Besides, it's not fair that I can't use my foreign accent to gain some points ...



(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:08:19 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Even though I don't really relate to male subs, overall I'd say you're ahead of the pack in that your profile isn't focused on your needs and fetishes etc. Hell, you're not even calling yourself a worthless worm! lol And kudos...

I'd at least re-work these two sentences:

"I'm interested neither in cybersex, nor in financial submission."

Very easy for the reader to misinterpret. Simply say that you're not interested in blah blah


"Even if I'm not into a relationship now, I'm not obsessively searching."

Even *if*???? We're sposta guess?

The ladies will likely be more insightful....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to newdeep)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:12:03 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newdeep

As for my profile, well, thank you for the advice. The "obsessively" was meant to be self-ironic, but it didn't convey that maybe.

It did come across right, but irony or no irony you've still put the image of an obsessive searcher into the reader's head, and that's not an image you want to be there.

As for using your foreign accent, record an audio greeting - that's a good way of showing it off. :p

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:12:22 PM   
hangemhigh1953


Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline 		I do think it sounds a bit too serious, perhaps you should consider adding something fun sounding to give viewers a little chuckle to remember you by?

_____________________________

"Chains of love got a hold on me,
when passion's a prison you can't break free"

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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:18:17 PM   
newdeep


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/27/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you. I see your points. And I have already revised my profile a bit.

Actually, I'm not a worthless worm (last time I checked). That's why I didn't mention it ...



< Message edited by newdeep -- 8/27/2011 3:35:35 PM >

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:18:29 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Newdeep,

I agree with VC and Focus.  The first and biggest thing to avoid - which many if not most don't - is banging on about your own kinks.  So you reach at least a B+ grade, there.  Well done. 

However, to get into the A grade, I'd inject some warm humour.  Show these women that you can be a great companion for a night talking in a pub.  Submales have a reputation for being stuffed-up, overly-earnest, dreary, crashing bores, frankly.  Make it clear that you're not that type. 

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:19:53 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		double post . . . .

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 8/27/2011 3:20:51 PM >

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RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:37:36 PM   
newdeep


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/27/2011
Status: offline 		Thanks to you all.

Audio greeting? Did I mention I'm shy?

Too serious. True. I'm going to work on it. I put a last note about it, but I followed the piece of advice to deleting it. And then, maybe, if a lady finds out I have an unexpected sense of humor it will have a stronger effect. (I know she may never know as she will skip my profile).

Obsessive. Deleted. Deleted. Deleted. Deleted.

Two things.

First. You know that you English speaking people are a bit spoiled when it comes to the Internet: do you ever realize how difficult is to express themselves in depth in a different language?

Second. I'm thinking of adding a grammar-submission fetish on my profile... Well, at least I'm learning English ...

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:37:59 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		Hi, newdeep:
I get a sense of conflict, that early on you say you're not interested in a relationship, and then spend the rest of your paragraphs describing one. This is one place where you can feel free to be honest.
And as Peon said, you should state what you can contribute to whatever relationship you want to be in.
You also never know who speaks your native language, so feel free to add a paragraph or two in that.
Good luck with your search.

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:41:48 PM   
newdeep


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/27/2011
Status: offline 		Tantriqu,

I was trying to convey the fact that I'm not in a hurry in searching a relationship (but I'm not ruling out at all) and that I like to talk to people anyway.
Then, I have conflict with myself ...but it's a different story ...

Thank you for your notes and your wishes.

(in reply to Tantriqu)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 3:55:23 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

You also never know who speaks your native language, so feel free to add a paragraph or two in that.



This. And VC's comment about the audio greeting. Or if you're shy, you can combine both and read a couple of poetic lines in Italian...

Oh, wait. This isn't supposed to be about *my* fetish.

_____________________________

- Miss Marie


(in reply to Tantriqu)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 4:05:46 PM   
newdeep


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/27/2011
Status: offline 		Well, actually it is about publishing my voice on the Internet (and on a site like this... yikes...), not much about the contents. One-to-one, I talk too much ...

As for poetic lines, I will be glad to accommodate your fetish ... (too bold?). My English is not perfect, but my Italian is spectacular...



(in reply to MissToYouRedux)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 6:33:00 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		It seems fine.  Are there many BDSM groups in Italy where it will matter?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to newdeep)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/27/2011 10:33:27 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

Why I'm not here



Not interested in cybersex, not interested in financial submission.


I would reword this: "NOT why I'm here"

otherwise, well done!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/28/2011 3:01:13 AM   
SuperHappyTime


Posts: 63
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newdeep

First. You know that you English speaking people are a bit spoiled when it comes to the Internet: do you ever realize how difficult is to express themselves in depth in a different language?

Second. I'm thinking of adding a grammar-submission fetish on my profile... Well, at least I'm learning English ...


Your English is fine. I can understand it must be frustrating having to somewhat translate everything on here, but let me tell you that your profile reads better than most of the people on the site who have English as their *first* language.

Just click the 'journals' button at the top right of CM and read a page of those. Can't understand half of whats they're saying? Well, English is my first language and I have the same trouble ;o)

A picture would probably help..I'm the wrong sex and orientation, but I always think a non-kink pleasant looking face shot is best.

Good luck

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(in reply to newdeep)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/28/2011 3:36:08 AM   
newdeep


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It seems fine.  Are there many BDSM groups in Italy where it will matter?


There are not many BDSM groups. At least, not as many as in the US. Besides, I find it difficult to enter a group ... My private side ...

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/28/2011 3:39:54 AM   
newdeep


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:



I would reword this: "NOT why I'm here"

otherwise, well done!


Done. Thank you.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Profile (mine): advice anyone? - 8/28/2011 3:43:20 AM   
newdeep


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/27/2011
Status: offline
quote:



A picture would probably help..I'm the wrong sex and orientation, but I always think a non-kink pleasant looking face shot is best.

Good luck


Thank you.

Picture. I understand.

On one side I think that I want to be "liked" first for who I am inside, and just afterwards because I'm a sex symbol (joking ... I'm not ...).

On the other side I think that the previous reason is just the nice shield hiding the fact that I wouldn't post the picture of me on here.


(in reply to SuperHappyTime)
Profile   Post #: 20
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