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RE: Vanilla TPE - 8/30/2011 8:17:31 AM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline 		By the way, I just glanced at your profile, mralias. Doubt you'll get any interest the way you're presenting yourself -- "I want a slave who doens't want anything kinky to join my poly house and do what I say." Even someone who considers themselves a sub or slave needs to be seduced and get an understanding of what it's in for them. So, yeah, even a slave has needs too. (And their needs go beyond just needing someone to say, "Hey, so you're a slave -- great, I need a doormat. Now start doing x, y and z." So start by thinking of the slave -- and what she really wants and needs -- and go from there.

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Vanilla TPE - 8/30/2011 8:24:09 AM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		Oh if you want poly scratch "Taken in Hand". From what i understand, it is for monogamous individuals.

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Vanilla TPE - 8/30/2011 5:49:50 PM   
MrAlias


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/15/2011
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies so far. I've looked into the 1950's groups and HOH and TIH (Head of House and Taken In Hand). All have aspects of what I seek but seem to focus on things that may or may not
be relevant to my house. To answer the question of my tastes and what I have to offer, basically I offer the leadership, protection, love and guidance that a Master offers, without the bdsm play. I know
vanilla slavery is a seeming contradiction in terms that most will not understand, which is why my post asked about other labels that could be understood as shorthand for slavery without scening.
Yes, every kink has it's devotees and I know there are slaves who would love to serve in this manner, I happen to own one ( lucky me). I'm just looking for some ideas about a name or handle that would
help potential partners know what my style is. I know many hate labels, but I don't think they serve to put anyone in a tiny box, it is merely shorthand to describe the flavors likely to be experienced by those
in a particular outlook. As far as the doormat comment goes, lol, you say that as if it's a bad thing.
Anyway, thanks again for your input.

(in reply to coookie)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Vanilla TPE - 8/31/2011 7:22:04 AM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrAlias

Thanks for the replies so far. I've looked into the 1950's groups and HOH and TIH (Head of House and Taken In Hand). All have aspects of what I seek but seem to focus on things that may or may not
be relevant to my house. To answer the question of my tastes and what I have to offer, basically I offer the leadership, protection, love and guidance that a Master offers, without the bdsm play. I know
vanilla slavery is a seeming contradiction in terms that most will not understand, which is why my post asked about other labels that could be understood as shorthand for slavery without scening.
Yes, every kink has it's devotees and I know there are slaves who would love to serve in this manner, I happen to own one ( lucky me). I'm just looking for some ideas about a name or handle that would
help potential partners know what my style is. I know many hate labels, but I don't think they serve to put anyone in a tiny box, it is merely shorthand to describe the flavors likely to be experienced by those
in a particular outlook. As far as the doormat comment goes, lol, you say that as if it's a bad thing.
Anyway, thanks again for your input.



Basically, I'd say strap yourself in for a long long long search. The biggest challenge won't be the "vanilla slavery," as you put it, but trying to find someone who is interested in that who will also want to be in a long-term poly relationship. You're picking fruit from a very tiny orchard.

(in reply to MrAlias)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Vanilla TPE - 8/31/2011 11:38:28 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrAlias

I find that the more slavish a woman is the more she will be into the whole whips and chains sort of lifestyle.



Of the femslaves in my circle, I've witnessed the exact OPPOSITE.



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It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to MrAlias)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Vanilla TPE - 8/31/2011 2:05:22 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		The problem here isn't that you are seeking someone who doesn't want the whips and chains...you're seeking someone who doesn't want the whips and chains AND will be poly. Once you add that poly part you're now seeking the holy grail of bdsm.



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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Vanilla TPE - 8/31/2011 8:21:44 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

The problem here isn't that you are seeking someone who doesn't want the whips and chains...you're seeking someone who doesn't want the whips and chains AND will be poly. Once you add that poly part you're now seeking the holy grail of bdsm.





Poly without chains and whips??!! You can keep that grail!

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Vanilla TPE - 9/1/2011 6:10:54 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
you're seeking someone who doesn't want the whips and chains AND will be poly. Once you add that poly part you're now seeking the holy grail of bdsm.


Let me break down the "Holy Grail" that he's seeking.  He wants a poly 1950's relationship.  In other words, he wants to be able to have sex with other women, while his main woman does whatever he tells her to do, and doesn't say anything about his other women.

He calls it "Vanilla slavery", but in more common language, he wants to be a "cheating asshole". 

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Vanilla TPE - 9/1/2011 6:59:46 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		unfortunately rochsub, it seems to be a common theme among many into bdsm though from my own experience over the years. What he's seeking isn't all that uncommon from places I've lived and groups I"ve belonged to in the past.




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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Vanilla TPE - 9/1/2011 8:30:17 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

unfortunately rochsub, it seems to be a common theme among many into bdsm.



I agree.  There are so many ulterior motives for getting into BDSM.  Having a "license to cheat" is definitely one o them.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Vanilla TPE - 9/1/2011 12:40:08 PM   
MasterMLT66


Posts: 20
Joined: 12/17/2010
Status: offline 		I am sure there are women out there who are new to this lifestyle that may seek such a watered down version of BDSM and D/s or M/s, but from my experience, the further along you bring a slave into this lifestyle, the more they desire to experience it. A slave may not LOVE whips or chains or flogs or spanking, may not get enjoyment from humiliation or deprivation, but at some point in life they will probably want to experience it, just for the experience ... and then they may find themselves enjoying that kink.

So for Mr. Vanilla Slave Owner, I doubt that even if he does find the "Holy Grail" here in this site, I would not expect whom he finds to be satisfied with what he is bringing to the table and will probably not stick around long in his household.

I suppose what he is ultimately looking for is like the Polygamistic Mormon type society utilizing plural marriage concepts, where the 1950's household lifestyle and multiple wives are common place. he should move to Texas, I hear that is fairly common out there.

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Pain and Pleasure ... what a wonderful fine line to cross!

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Vanilla TPE - 9/1/2011 4:22:43 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		There are some in TX, because of the size of the state and unoccupied space. It's more prevalent in OK and NV for some reason, however.



quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMLT66
I suppose what he is ultimately looking for is like the Polygamistic Mormon type society utilizing plural marriage concepts, where the 1950's household lifestyle and multiple wives are common place. he should move to Texas, I hear that is fairly common out there.





Edit changed "is" to "are".

< Message edited by Endivius -- 9/1/2011 4:24:31 PM >

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to MasterMLT66)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Vanilla TPE - 9/2/2011 6:32:37 AM   
Aresidora


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/11/2010
From: Columbus, Ohio
Status: offline 		I think my old boss was a "vanillia" slave owner. If I cant get any kink out of it - I am definately not going to submit. Maybe if he would have walked around with a flogger I would still be working for him...

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* Aresidora

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Vanilla TPE - 9/2/2011 2:40:22 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		As others have said, as soon as you say "does a person exist with x, y, & z attributes?" the answer is "Yes." In point of fact, Carol is pretty much the woman you describe. She does not self-identify as "slave" and you wouldn't ever find her shopping for a partner in BDSM-land. I think you're going to have way better luck searching for a vanilla partner in the vanilla world. That's certainly where Carol would find a new partner if she was looking for one. I'm pretty certain that even if she was inclined to like someone, if they self-identify as "master" that's going to be a few strikes against them.... just as a woman self-identifying as "slave" would be for me. We would both be hesitant about what we'd think of as "BDSM baggage" even if the other person seemed otherwise perfect.

If it helps any, I've considered adding a 3rd from time to time and I don't think finding such a person will be very hard -- well... not appreciably harder than finding any good match for me. Adding on "wishes a subordinate role in the marriage" and "willing to consider a three way marriage" doesn't complicate it all that much more. I think that the bigger question is not whether such women exist but whether or not I (and you) have what it takes to attract them and keep them. Because a person who has not previously chosen to step out of societal norms will very likely see the poly bit as several negative strikes, I'm going to have to be able to offer sufficient to counter that.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to MrAlias)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Vanilla TPE - 9/3/2011 2:48:26 AM   
Adorah


Posts: 26
Joined: 8/31/2011
Status: offline 		When you said 'vanilla slave owner',  I automatically thought 'dirty south'.  I fully expected to read that you were seeking slaves to pick cotton, lol.


(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Vanilla TPE - 9/3/2011 3:39:15 AM   
MrAlias


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/15/2011
Status: offline 		Let me break down the "Holy Grail" that he's seeking.  He wants a poly 1950's relationship.  In other words, he wants to be able to have sex with other women, while his main woman does whatever he tells her to do, and doesn't say anything about his other women.

He calls it "Vanilla slavery", but in more common language, he wants to be a "cheating asshole". 


Wow, Rochsub2009, it's a good thing you can read my mind else all that judgement could possibly be off.

I think I'll just go with the following: "I'm looking for a lifelong, committed power exchange relationship with a service oriented slave who is poly but not masochist."

Thanks for the input and ideas.

(in reply to Adorah)
Profile   Post #: 36
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