The Devotional Test

The Devotional Test (Full Version)

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Tebo -> The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 6:45:18 AM)
This question is primarily for slaves. Not that submissives or dom(m)es wouldn't have meaningful input, but I think one that is a slave now will have probably gone through this. I exchanged e-mails with a domme and mine were generally 3 to 4 times longer than hers. To be expected, as after all, she had questions she wanted answered. Even a 2.5 hr conversation on the phone was in the mix. My last e-mail was almost 800 words and was responded to with a single sentence, not particularly relevant to anything we had talked about. I interpret this, or no response at all as "it's over". Then a little more than a week later and e-mail, "I've been so busy with all kinds of shit, just no time to be on the internet". I'm paraphrasing slightly as I don't have the messages anymore, but that was the general theme. It turns out though that I had failed the devotional test. I was to have interpreted that as, let's get with the program again. My position was simply, no problem, I'm sure you'll jerk my chain when you have time. In a subsequent message, her statement was, if I don't want you to communicate, I'll tell you. I realize there are a lot of genuine dommes and domes on this site, but reality is, there are far more that are just intent on mind f'in. So the question becomes, would you have carried on under similar circumstances.

myotherself -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 6:55:46 AM)
Devotional test??? What a pile of steaming eviscerated bollocks! She either decided you weren't the one she was looking for, or bottled out when the spectre of "the face to face meeting" began to loom, or "she" was actually "he", or the spouse wanted to use the computer, or...whatever. The "devotional test" stuff is a puny-arsed way of saying she didn't want to talk to you any more. Fucking coward's way out. You're better off without her. If "she" is indeed a "her".

littlewonder -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 7:09:39 AM)
either you didn't read her profile carefully and your email did not contain what her profile told you or you failed to send her money. If it is the first, then next time be sure to read someone's profile carefully and respond in such a way as to show you read it. If it was the second, don't worry about it and move on.

OsideGirl -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 7:12:23 AM)
Honestly, you're probably better off with someone that won't continually test your love and devotion. It's a sign of needing to have the ego stroked which means self esteem issues.

sunshinemiss -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 7:38:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Honestly, you're probably better off with someone that won't continually test your love and devotion. It's a sign of needing to have the ego stroked which means self esteem issues. That's an interesting idea. I completely disagree with it. I'm betting that most people would definitely stop being with someone who did not meet a minimum level of love and devotion. That's not about self esteem or ego stroking - that's about interdependence which is a huge chunk of love as I understand it.

coookie -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 7:54:39 AM)
I think that you put out feelers and they were not reciprocated to the level that you feel is necessary for developing a relationship. (i am a communication junkie too so it would not have worked for me personally) It is a lack of compatibility. Don't fret and keep looking for someone that ticks your boxes Tebo. Get your butt out to a munch and meet some dominants in the community. Good luck fellow Albertan =)

risktaker9 -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 9:02:15 AM)
She wasn't that into you, if she were she'd have found a way to communicate with you. The devotional thing is just an excuse, it wouldn't even be part of the equation as a deal breaker if she'd wanted you around. If she had such a thing in place and she was interested in you, she'd have given you more of a heads up on your standing with it. Move on, sorry, it happens.

ResidentSadist -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 9:16:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself . . . What a pile of steaming eviscerated bollocks! . . . Thanx for the mental picture of that one.

myotherself -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 9:16:32 AM)
I live to serve....snickers

SuzeCheri -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 12:25:47 PM)
I'm not a slave, or a sub, or a domme, so I can only give a vanilla perspective on this. In my experience from talking to girls over the last 7 or 8 years since romance and sex got to be of interest, it isn't all that uncommon for girls to "test" their partners' love and devotion. Usually it's an innocuous thing, maybe asking him or her what colour your eyes are while you have sunglasses on, but sometimes it goes so far as having a friend try seduce your SO. It's my impression that the idea of devotion is inflated in the sort of relationships you guys do, as compared to vanilla ones, so it isn't a surprise that there would be tests like that as well. As to my opinion of those tests, well, I feel that if you need to test your partner's love, then you really do have some serious insecurity issues and probably shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. Also it smacks of entrapment and setting your partner up to fail, neither of which is fair, in my view. So if it was a genuine attempt to test your devotion, I would say you should be glad you failed now before you were more emotionally invested in the relationship. You got off easy. One girl I know hires hookers to come onto her boyfriends after she gets them drunk and fakes a huge fight with them.

ResidentSadist -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 1:18:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself I live to serve....snickers Are you a domestic servitude bunny? (slideshow) Watch out for clothes dryers!

seekingreality -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 1:22:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tebo This question is primarily for slaves. Not that submissives or dom(m)es wouldn't have meaningful input, but I think one that is a slave now will have probably gone through this. I exchanged e-mails with a domme and mine were generally 3 to 4 times longer than hers. To be expected, as after all, she had questions she wanted answered. Even a 2.5 hr conversation on the phone was in the mix. My last e-mail was almost 800 words and was responded to with a single sentence, not particularly relevant to anything we had talked about. I interpret this, or no response at all as "it's over". Then a little more than a week later and e-mail, "I've been so busy with all kinds of shit, just no time to be on the internet". I'm paraphrasing slightly as I don't have the messages anymore, but that was the general theme. It turns out though that I had failed the devotional test. I was to have interpreted that as, let's get with the program again. My position was simply, no problem, I'm sure you'll jerk my chain when you have time. In a subsequent message, her statement was, if I don't want you to communicate, I'll tell you. I realize there are a lot of genuine dommes and domes on this site, but reality is, there are far more that are just intent on mind f'in. So the question becomes, would you have carried on under similar circumstances. I am sub not a slave but I'll answer your question anyway. She may be mind-f ing you, but it's just as likely that you are incredibly needy and she is less interested in you than you are in her. And it's also possible that your actions declared, "Do whatever you want and I'll stand for it," so she's just doing whatever she wants. I know a domme is a domme and all that, but frankly I need more of a quid-pro-quo. No way would I be firing off a string of 800-word emails if all I was getting back was a generic one sentence reply. A domme has to prove herself to me as much as I have to prove myself to her. Some people get into the thrill of the case; I get bored by non-response. But then I must admit the whole concept of being a "slave" is something I don't understand.

poise -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 2:06:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tebo I exchanged e-mails with a domme and mine were generally 3 to 4 times longer than hers. To be expected, as after all, she had questions she wanted answered. Even a 2.5 hr conversation on the phone was in the mix. My last e-mail was almost 800 words and was responded to with a single sentence, not particularly relevant to anything we had talked about. I interpret this, or no response at all as "it's over". Then a little more than a week later and e-mail, "I've been so busy with all kinds of shit, just no time to be on the internet". It turns out though that I had failed the devotional test. I was to have interpreted that as, let's get with the program again. My position was simply, no problem, I'm sure you'll jerk my chain when you have time. In a subsequent message, her statement was, if I don't want you to communicate, I'll tell you. I feel that communication is essential in any relationship, and even more so in a newly forming one, where you are both still feeling each other out. You weren't wrong in assuming she had lost interest in you, and I think it's a bit silly for her to have expected you to know that she would eventually return and want to pick up where she left off. Sure, stuff happens, and she can have 100 excuses for being away from the computer. But it's also just as understandable that you would feel a bit more guarded and a little less giving of your attention to her.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 2:15:05 PM)
quote: My last e-mail was almost 800 words and was responded to with a single sentence, not particularly relevant to anything we had talked about. I interpret this, or no response at all as "it's over". Why did you think it was over simply because of the length of her reply? As she explained later, she was busy so she fired off a quick email. It sounds to me like you are treating someone who thought of you as an option as a priority. Oh - you count the words in your emails? ETA: why do you think this is something slaves are more familiar with than subbies.

JanahX -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 5:10:57 PM)
Hey it sounds to me like you have a TON of FREE TIME to devote. What else do you have to do? Obviously nothing, because you are even spending time here trying to find excuses why you should spend more of your time doing it again !! Whats the problem again? She's infringing on your time?

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 5:16:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JanahX Hey it sounds to me like you have a TON of FREE TIME to devote. What else do you have to do? Obviously nothing, because you are even spending time here trying to find excuses why you should spend more of your time doing it again !! Whats the problem again? She's infringing on your time? What the fuck are you talking about?

OsideGirl -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 6:24:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Honestly, you're probably better off with someone that won't continually test your love and devotion. It's a sign of needing to have the ego stroked which means self esteem issues. That's an interesting idea. I completely disagree with it. I'm betting that most people would definitely stop being with someone who did not meet a minimum level of love and devotion. That's not about self esteem or ego stroking - that's about interdependence which is a huge chunk of love as I understand it. You missed the point. It's not about doing without love and devotion, it's about people that feel the need to continually test their partners love and devotion. It's the game playing. The people that feel that their partner in life has to continually jump through hoops to prove their love. That is ego stroking with self esteem issues.

Arpig -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 7:42:59 PM)
quote: It's not about doing without love and devotion, it's about people that feel the need to continually test their partners love and devotion. It's the game playing. The people that feel that their partner in life has to continually jump through hoops to prove their love. That is ego stroking with self esteem issues. Agreed. I always like it when I pass one of those those tests, I just love the look on her face when I dump her as soon as she tells me I passed a test.

angelikaJ -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/30/2011 10:10:39 PM)
My take is somewhat different, *I think* in the beginning you invested way too much and had expectations of similar return without knowing how she typically responds. You wanted to impress her and when she did not respond to those efforts to that end your feelings got hurt and your ardor cooled. At some point she expressed interest and when she did not jump through your hoops you wrote her off. What made the investment too much of one was the expectations that you had attached to your responses. Those types of expectations are often the fact track to disappointment. So, next time perhaps you could slow down just a little and take time to get to know the other person rather than just trying to impress them with high count word responses. Real life has a way of intruding on our cyberlives. That is something you might try to remember so that the next time it happens you don't take it so personally. I don't see this as either of you being wrong per se; just very mis-matched.

0ldhen -> RE: The Devotional Test (8/31/2011 4:45:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself . . . What a pile of steaming eviscerated bollocks! . . . Thanx for the mental picture of that one. The above...Fllowed by this.... quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself I live to serve....snickers I read as "Thanks...I love to serve SNACKS" I lost my coffee all over the sceeen, and here it was my blurry eyeballs.

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